August 13, 2008

Spider: 1; Benny: 0

spider2.bmpWe Northwesterners are very familiar with the huge (non-poisonous) house spiders that lumber through our homes. If people who live elsewhere see a spider this size even once, it becomes a tale they tell their grandchildren:ďWhy, sonny, I remember the time I walked to school ten miles, barefoot, in the snow, and when I got to school, there was this spiderÖĒ For us, itís more ďMove your foot; here comes another one.Ē Last night, however, Benny found the largest of these spiders that Iíve ever seen. You know how in Jurassic Park you can tell the T. rex is coming because you can see the vibrations in the puddle? That big. Benny proceeded to beat the crap out of the spider, bowling it across the rug, squashing it, raking it with his claws, poking it vigorously with his nose. When Benny was done (well, not done; he was unceremoniously thrown into the bedroom so he wouldnít eat the spider. Or, more accurately, so that I didnít have to watch him eat it, because itís all about me), the spider, now known as Mr. Machismo, got up and walked away, unscathed. (And was then scooped up in my patented cup-and-paper Scoopinator and dumped outside.) I am very impressed by that spider and the Hand that wrought it.

On the other end of the spectrum, Joon: 4, moths: 0. Woot! Only I havenít the vaguest idea where the moths are coming from. This concerns me. But according to my personal Prime Directive, I canít kill them, even if they decimate every yard of yarn I own. If the cat eats them, thatís another matter altogether because thatís, you know, ďnature.Ē Although, in one of my less finer moments, I might possibly have shown her where one was. Apparently my personal Prime Directive is a little elastic. I can't do the dirty work myself but I can hire a contract killer.

Lastly, the only thing worse than waking up to a cat face 1Ē away from your nose, is opening up your eyes to the other end, just as nearby.

On the knitting front, uncharacteristically, Iím just piling up the UFOís left and right. The bomber jacket is still on the needles because I'm not convinced I have enough yarn, Iím picking away at three pairs of socks and not caring much if they get done or not, Elmira is still languishing, and I started a Fisherman T-Shirt (my fave baby-sweater pattern) in Dale Baby Ull. This is just not me. Help!

P.S. Do you think itís a bad thing that, lately, whenever I see a newborn baby, Iíve been yelling at it under my breath, ďGo back in! Go back in! Itís not safe out here!Ē

Posted by Ryan at August 13, 2008 10:14 AM

I dunno about a bad sign, but depending on how close to newborn that newborn is, if the mother catches wind of it she might pound you. Says the 5-months-along preggo.
You would totally kill the moths if you saw them in their larval state. Yucky, squirmy things.

Posted by: Carrie on August 13, 2008 10:42 AM

It is to LAUGH! Well..maybe not laugh. I'm of the running-and-screaming type when it comes to spiders bigger than, say, a breadcrumb. Fortunately we don't seem to have many. I have to say, Evangeline had a fine dance with a moth the other day too. Gave her some entertainments (and I gave her some of the green crunchies to which she's shamelessly addicted afterward). And it IS Nature; I explained to her that she's a Knitter's Cat and I think she takes it serious. (Lilliane, on the other hand, idly watched a very icky many-legged slide across the floor without a move {shudder} Oh well.

Posted by: dale-harriet in WI on August 13, 2008 11:48 AM

I watched my one-eyed dog catch a huge fly and eat it the other day. While I appreciated his earning his keep, I wasn't too keen to let him get all up in my face afterwards. Which made him feel bad.

The spiders and I have a deal, as long as they stay outside of the house, they are welcome friends, but when they come inside, I'm ruthless. I'm paranoid about the dogs getting bitten though (especially when I had the 14 year old dog). And I don't do so hot when I get bitten. I'm not convinced that my big ones aren't hobo spiders though.


You should see some of the GIGANTIC garden spiders I get. I have to say, they don't keep up their end of the bargain in keeping the fly population down though. What is that about?

Posted by: Laurie on August 13, 2008 12:42 PM

About the cats: they're very comfortable with you if they're showing you THAT end, which is harder for them to defend. (Still not sure I can take it as the compliment my vet claims it is.)

About the knitting: This isn't a knitter's normal state of being?, she asks innocently while kicking 13 bags of projects under the table. When I get in one of those startitis states, I sign up for some appropriate KAL with a deadline. Makes me focus.

Posted by: daisy in the shenandoah valley on August 13, 2008 12:49 PM

ďGo back in! Go back in! Itís not safe out here!Ē

I can certainly empathize with the senitiment - but nothing of any real value is safe.

I don't kill insects either - I do what you do, scoop 'em up and dump 'em out.

Posted by: Robbyn on August 13, 2008 01:24 PM

I point out the bugs to my cat because watching her stalk them even if she doesn't always eat them is surprisingly entertaining.

As for the newborn thing? I imagine that after being pregnant for 9 months most mothers want to set up a fence with barbed wire to prevent such a reentry.

Posted by: Seanna Lea on August 13, 2008 02:06 PM

Have you looked in the pantry? Last summer I had grain moths living in an elderly box of wheat crackers. That's how my (wool) stash ended up in the freezer out in the garage.

No, that was not over reacting. :p

Posted by: Cookie on August 13, 2008 03:31 PM

I'm an arachnophobe. Perhaps I ought to reconsider the Pacific Northwest as a place I'd consider living...

Posted by: Kristen on August 13, 2008 04:01 PM

I feel like whispering that to my 5 year old sometimes. Except I don't really want him back in, not the size he is now for sure.

Posted by: Gwen on August 13, 2008 04:58 PM

Better to yell it under your breath than in their little faces...might get you sent back to the "Spa", and not of your own free will.

And whatever happened to keeping then safely at home until they were old enough to sit in a high chair and gum a french fry?

Posted by: carlarey on August 13, 2008 05:45 PM

I am attempting to train my dumb[er] cat to present that end to me from a slightly greater distance and to insert his big fluffy tail into the resulting space. When it brushes my face it makes me smile (as opposed to the facial expression the naked butt provokes).

Posted by: kmkat on August 13, 2008 07:01 PM

I foster kittens. At *least* once a day I find myself saying some version of "Yes, your butt is adorable, but the other end is prettier." Or "Yes, I see your butt. I saw your butt 2 minutes ago. Why must I see your butt again?" Kittens love to show me their butts. I, personally, feel I have seen enough kitten butts to last me the rest of my life, but each kittens feels the need to show me their butt over and over.

Posted by: DianeS on August 13, 2008 10:12 PM

I'm wondering if your spider is bigger then the cane spiders we have. They jump! and scare the c**p or of me, but are not poisonous.

Posted by: Barb on August 13, 2008 10:37 PM

*shudder* Well I remember those nasty spiders from my youth. As much as I miss the Pacific Northwest, I do not miss the spiders.

Posted by: Kirsten on August 14, 2008 04:18 AM

Giant house spiders, really? Darn . . . I was really considering the pacific northwest as a "someday" moving-to locale. But now, hmmm.

Posted by: chris on August 14, 2008 04:57 AM

I wanted to yell the same thing at my own newborn as I waited for my beloved to pick me up at the front door of the hospital to take her home for the first time.

Posted by: Marie on August 14, 2008 06:06 AM

Got out of the shower this morning and found a big brown spider coming at me! Body the size of an apricot pit. I bravely put the wastebasket on top of it, then woke up my husband and gave him a paper towel to deal with it.

I have a vertical pole with pegs on it, onto which I hang my many tote bags filled with UFOs. At least they're decorative and out of the way.

Posted by: judy on August 14, 2008 08:35 AM

I think, these days, with all the C**P on the news, the "It's not safe out here!" is pretty close to the truth.

But then, I remember my mom saying that about 30 years ago...and saying she was glad that her years were numbered as she just didn't want to watch the world self-distruct...

Maybe it's really the aging thing? We've seen so much now, it just SEEMS as if it's the worst?

But on the other hand? You gotta love the antics of kitties...I know mine keep ME sane - and laughing!!

Posted by: Knitnana on August 14, 2008 10:03 AM

Weell, your prime directive clearly does not include the concept of "carnivore." Cats, though, are carnivores through and through. Except for mine. She's absolutely terrified of my daughter's hamster, and has made friends with a pet rabbit... As far as Kitty's concerned, Purina Cat Chow is a VEGETABLE. As to offering uterine sanctuary to my children, I really doubt I could convince them that it's a good idea.

Posted by: Emily on August 14, 2008 03:40 PM

Miss Purl is a critter killer too. She's very vicious for such a sweet lookin' kitty. :)

Posted by: Carry on August 15, 2008 10:33 AM

Ryan, it's summer. Who finishes a knitting project in the summer. I certainly don't. Take care of yourself. I am proud of the way you are marching right along with your life. My prayers have been, and will continue to be, sent your way.


Posted by: Sue R. on August 15, 2008 12:23 PM

we get wolf spiders like that here in nebraska on occasion. hubbie prefers to kill them, but i let the big ones go. hey, they worked hard to get that big, theydeserveabreak!

and i see cat butt on a regular basis, they're addicted to open windows.

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