May 27, 2004
The Finishing School
I believe the Cunning Plan is working nicely. Yesterday I printed this sign to display near the Knitting Spot in the Parlor:
With it in view to remind me what not to knit, as well as to refresh my memory of what I'm trying to finish during this priority round, I had concrete guidance. The result? (are you sitting down?) I picked up the stitches for Saga Rose's second sleeve-- also due in no small part to Linette's offer for a Get That Last Darned Sleeve Finished-Along. How are you doing on yours, Linette? (see Linette's fabulous fair isle on Pink Tea).
Feng Shue survived its row-tinking and grew another few rows, now measuring... three inches. Maybe I was overly optimistic when describing its length yesterday. Yeah, that was it. Or maybe I just guessed at it.
While contemplating my list and knitting, I was thinking of Karen the Terrible and her penchant for structured learning (witness all her wonderful degrees). I tend to avoid the structure and degrees in favor of the speed of self-learning. But, I reflected, you can't knit faster than you can knit. Maybe I could set up a "class schedule" for my set of priorities, and maybe this set could be thought of as a "semester", the final exam being a picture of the finished item.
And there it was.
To enroll, send $20.00 to Madame Glitchbane via paypal (fortuknit at hotmail.com) along with a list of your WIPS and UFOs, their completion percentages and types.
She will present you with these valuable gifts:
- a semester schedule,
- a one of a kind sign to post outside your knitting spot, and
- your very own personalized Letter of Encouragement (LOE)
When you are finished with your class (UFO) you will send her
- a picture of the completed object
Upon successful completion of the semester, she will send you
- a personally signed and dated Certificate of Semester Completion (COSE)
And when you have finished your entire program, you will get
- a beautiful computer-printed personalized Diploma of Knitter in Good Standing
- a nice ball of yarn
- the right to use the initials MFO (Master of Finished Objects) in your signature
Thousands of testimonial have poured in since this program opened.
"I had knit for more than fifty years and hadn't finished one thing. I enrolled in Madame's school and within 6 months had finished 70 items. You can't go wrong!" -- Nanny Granny, MFO
"I was about to give up knitting. I was addicted to starting and never finished. Thank God for the FSWK. My family no longer has to find clothes in garbage cans, and I can hold my head up high because I finished the neck of this pullover." --Marianna Goldenberg, MFO
"The Finishing School changed my life. I enrolled my wife, and now I can see a clear path through my living room because all the yarn is knit up. Thank you, Madame Glitchbane!" --Cedric deWilliger, wife of Fiona deWilliger, MFO
Sign up today for the Glitchbane way! And remember,
"Our Goal is Your FO"
Hee! A finishing school indeed - just what we need! My sleeve is progressing nicely, thank you for asking. I have about 10 inches more to knit. I'm hoping to have a FO by this weekend.
Posted by: Linette on May 27, 2004 11:13 AMLOE? COSE? I LOL!!
(what happened to Mist, heh?? it's not even in the 7th tier...)
Looking forward to the Soiree, although I can't get there until mid-afternoon. Thanks for hostessing!
Posted by: Katie on May 27, 2004 02:18 PMMadame, you are something else. How gracious of you to sponsor such a worthy program. I hope you are prepared for the flood of participants.
Posted by: Anne on May 27, 2004 03:10 PMWhy Madame! That's a deal at any price. Is there a waiver for the wayward? Something that would imdemnify Madame should the wayward have unrealistic expectations? What if the knitter has little experience, but has Maidenhair on her list? What if the knitter cheaped out and didn't buy the insurance ball of yarn? How will Madame protect herself from the whining and whinging of the wayward?
Posted by: Stephanie on May 28, 2004 06:31 AMWhy Madame, I think you have hit on the best cunning plan of all! But what if all the administration demands keep you from your pursuing your degree?
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