Mossy Cottage Knits

OMG! I laughed so hard at your R-rated section! Living in a mobile home park, I so identify! I sometimes forget exactly HOW close everyone is until I hear something....I don't wanna hear! (or god forbid wonder if someone is hearing something *they* don't wanna hear).

Human beans are funny creatures. Nuff said.

The scarf is fab! Makes me wanna give it a shot, even though I hate the idea of the center thing...

Have you checked out my blog yet Ryan?? :)

Hilarious! Hey, maybe you could get some talking clock that's insanely loud and set it to...ahem... go off right when they do. I'm thinking of the hello kitty alarm clock a friend of mine once had that practically screamed "Good Morning! Good Morning! " over and over again until it was shut off. I mean, yeah, kudos to them but sheesh, do they have no consideration for you?

No, Lisa, I had no idea you had a blog! I'll pop over there pronto!

Gaile, love the story about the hello kitty clock. I think my oversexed neighbors might even be preferable to that nightmare of a noise.

Oh heavens, I certainly hope if there were ever any conservative readers here, they've hightailed it to safer ground by now! And I think you need SOMETHING loud to set off at exactly 6:59am...

ryan-
well you could always try turnabout as fair play.. come out of your house a few minutes before they do.. smoking a cig saying "was it good for you too??" j/k!

wish I could be there tonite.. perhaps we should have streaming video so I can see your presentation and hear your funny comments (I feel that there will be funny comments) and heck the bonus of nudity!

Ryan--

Oh my lord, that's funny. I have to tell you my similarly inappropriate story. Our very first night in our new house, we were up until 2 in the morning stripping wallpaper (it was REALLY ugly). It was hot, so we left the window open. We have a townhouse, and the bedroom in question faces the mirror image block of 3 townhouses across the drive. So, shortly after we go to bed, we start to hear moaning, increasing in volume. Someone is having a wonderful time. I'm happy for them--nobody had sex in our old apartment building, so we're pleased that the new location is more libidinous.

All well and good, except that the neighbors apparently had miraculous powers of endurance that night, so there were at least three more bouts. And that woman was VOCAL. By the third one, my husband and I were giggling wildly, and contemplating sticking our heads out the window and cheering on the climax.

It hasn't happened since, but that hasn't stopped us from speculating about which neighbor it could have been.

I may be able to make the guild meeting tonight, especially if I can motivate myself to grade papers this afternoon. We'll see.

Melinda

Shoot, you even made yer Buddhist monk cuzzin LOL. 'Course, I am from New Jersey. Good thing I ain't got neighbors like that. Cuz I got a parrot. And parrots imitate!

I wonder about the different male/female reactions to your story, too. I suspect the ladies said, "Eight minutes? Is that all?" Whereas, I thought, "Eight minutes? Every morning? Bravo!"

Melinda, if you could make it to Guild tonight, that would be so cool. Now get in there and grade those papers, darn it! (Funny story, by the way. Cheering on would have been hysterical!)

Cuzzin Tom, you are a monk. You were not supposed to read that story. Oh, who am I kidding?! You weren't *always* a monk...

Streaming video, Anj?! Did you READ the part about how I almost had to use an old projector and transparencies, and you want streaming video?! ;-)

Oh, Ryan, and about that last sentence in your post. I would say "yes" only if, before your presentation, you stand outside the door and knock. When they ask, "Who is it?" you say, "Mammygram!" until they open up.

Am I right in discovering that the comments here don't accept HTML tags? Italics would have made my previous comment much funnier.

Cuzzin Tom is as funny as you. (but he's right!) And what about the NC-17 rating for the end? (brief nudity)

Geez! And I thought our neighbors' dogs barking at 6:00 am was irritating--but your neighbors--sex every morning! Almost too much to be believed! Makes me tired just thinking about it (no offense intended to my dear husband...)

I am so looking forward to tonight's presentation--at least I WAS till that presentation-in-the-nude comment cropped up...it's not THAT hot in the basement! You know, if you set up the projector in front of the kitchen door, and open the back doors up, and keep your clothes on, Ryan, it will stay cool and we'll all be able to keep our eyes on the projected images...

Love the scarf and I know what you mean about inertia on certain projects. See you tonight!

Mary

oh, take it one step farther- knitting in the nude could become 'the new yoga' (i always find that such an annoying thing to read that i just *had* to write it)-

loved your r-rated story but managed to read the pigeons were hurrying away from a deserted italian PIZZA and, knowing the habits of greedy pigeons, thought the decibel level had to be even more than stupendous-

glad to read that you've gotten your knitting all jump-started again- all of mine is suffering from olympic malaise as it is hard to finish even a simple row when leaping about like a frog-

good luck with the presentation- it sounds interesting and should be most informative-

stay happy-

*giggle* well if there was streaming video and nudity you would hear me cheer from philly. *snort*

I am thinking I like this cuzzin tom!

Norma, Anj, it's no coincidence that the comments from Cuzzin Tom--who really is my cuzzin and who really is a Buddhist monk--are funny. He is the funniest dude and the best writer, ever. No, I mean it--ever. In my next entry, I'll post the URL of his birdwatching blog so you can get a real taste of his amazing writing skills and twisted sense of humor. You don't want to miss his commentary on migrating pelicans and road rash.

Mary, you're right; it's not THAT hot in the basement, but I get enthusiastic and worked up when I do presentations--that's what made me so hot. So I'm still considering the nude option. Neener, neener.

Barb, I think a bit of "Olympic malaise" is figuring into my knitting too. You put your head down, knit one stitch, and THAT's when someone does a 10-point triple twisting loopdeloop. Erk.

Look, after all the effort you've put into your visual aids, do you really want to distract the audience? But I gotta say, visions of Calendar Girls are running through my head.

Love the scarf!

You know, Janine has got a good idea going here--how much money did the Calendar Girls raise? Tons! The Seattle Knitters Guild Calendar--we could do one too! Let's think of a great charity and put this idea to the membership. Ryan, maybe you could ask everyone tonight and see if there's any interest? And if you were in the buff when you posed the question....well, it could either make or break the idea, I guess... Mary

I'll take the photos! I'll take the photos!

TMK

Hey...wait! I'm a designer. I can take the photos AND design the calendar! ;-)

TMK

I have completely lost control of this blog.

*Snicker snort* Ye freakin gods. Ryan, as if you aren't funny enough, your Dear Readers are hilarious. Reminds me of the short time hubby and I lived with the in laws out in the country. Every time we'd get *ahem* amorous, the mom-in-law would complain about how close the coyotes were to the house the night before. I am not that loud. Hubby still roars with laughter everytime it's mentioned. He's a butt.

The scarf is lovey, good luck on the pillow and quit making references to doing nekkid presentations. It makes me snort and spew Dr. Pepper on my computer monitor. It's not nice. heehee

Hope everyone has a great day!!!

I repeat, I have completely lost control of this blog.

I thought the post was funny... then I read the comments! HA! that's all I have to say. HA!

OK... I have one more thing to say. I love the delicous irony of doing a presentation about the Net on an overhead projector. I would much prefer that one to the PowerPoint preso - but I'm twisted that way.

Hey, Ryan? You've lost control of this blog.

But I just wanted to say, as a dispatcher, when I receive calls of loud sex, I routinely hold them for at least ten minutes before dispatching. Common courtesy, don'tcha think? At least yours is only 8 minutes..... But that's a LONG time to listen to someone else squeaking. Ew.

Gad, this post killed me.

i am jealous of your neighbors ;-)

You're right,Ryan ....you HAVE lost control of this blog. Vanessa, to heck with being jealous of her neighbors --- I'm jealous of her Cuzzin Tom. I want a Cuzzin Tom. A real Buddhist Monk Cuzzin who's so clever. C.T., you gotta come visit over to my blog and leave ME clever repartee. It's not fair, Ryan!!! You're too cool.

Maybe you could invite the neighbors to spiff up the presentation if you're concerned about it getting too dry & dull? They'd already have the nudity thing "covered".

*howling laughter!*

Sue has taken to reading you blog and we both had a good howl last nite. Could you hear us??

Anywho, as a person with a degree in photogrpahy, I will barter TMK some lessons for copies of the piccies. I'm sure she would agree that this is a good barter and be happy to have you start posing for her. The life drawing/photo classes are very helpful actually.. with lighting and placement and... well, I am sure she already has ideas of her own. Besides if you do it about 7am you can compete with the neighbors!

and yes, you have completely lost any semblance of control.

Anj--I have to assume my first cup of coffee hasn't fired the neurons yet, cuz at first glance, I thought you wrote: "Anywho, as a person with a degree in pornography..." I really need a remote Nepalese retreat. Or a second cuppa...

And Cuzzin Ryan, if you needed any more confirmation that sex sells, is this, like, a record number of comments, or what?

Clicking my name will send you to my silly birding blog.

That's too funny! What I can't get over is how "predictable" they are, whew!

I love your work on the scarf. I finally have new pics up in an album on my blog of my wips if you'd like to check them out, that is if you have time. *snif :( I don't get too many knitting readers on my blog for some reason. But I'm trying to get mine going since I am settled now and have a digital camera that works on xp. Anyway, I have always loved your blog and it was my inspiration for one of my own. Yours was the very first knit blog I came across and one that stuck with me. It's been almost a year for mine already.

Ryan,

Have you ever given a thought to the possibility that your poor neighbors may have been trained similar to Pavlov's dogs? Do you realize that your seemingly innocent alarm clock may in fact be the culprit? Your alarm going off may be setting them off (or is that the other way around) and they could sooner stop themselves from blinking their eyes than doin' the horizontal mambo at 7:00am every morning?! Poor things! They're probably sound asleep until the very second the alarm sounds ;-)

I laughed for a full 30 minutes - that's how long it took me to get through all these comments. Ryan you are capital F Funny - and you obviously attract a funny following. I bet Cuzzin Tom could supplement his vow of poverty as a paid blog-commentor! I checked out his birdblog and it confirmed everything - I heart your Cuzzin - does he follow the precept of chastity? If I could only get over my ornithophobia...

Eaaasy there, Alison. Celibacy is #3 among my 253 precepts. Lifelong, no hidden clauses. Anyway, you'll leave that notion alone once you see my photos, above.

But ornithophobia I can help you with. First off, how scared can you be of a bird named Scooter?

CT: Speaking as Alison's "partner in orthnithophobia"--one can be very, very afraid of, yes, even a bird named Scooter. Don't get me wrong. Scooter is extremely cute and before Ryan explained the kitty litter pic, I was impressed that you had litter-trained him. But, alas, Scooter has flappy wings. And therein lies the problem.

My phobia started in high school when visiting a friend's older brother who had a big white cockatoo. Said cockatoo proceeded to fly straight at me, grabbed my hair, flapped his wings in my face and wouldn't let go. To this day I will cross the street to avoid pigeons and have been known to shriek like a little girl and run away if a pigeon flies anywhere near me, much to the embarrassment of Ryan.

But, oddly enough, I take very good care of my backyard birds and am extremely protective of them when it comes to the neighborhood cats. I like watching the birds from a distance--you know, with glass between me and them.

So, Alison, you're not alone! ;-)

TMK