The idea of the Mossy Cottage Knitting and Fiber Commune was inspired by the many readers who declared recently and in quick succession that they were abandoning their lifestyles, jobs and hometowns to move up here (har, har, har, everyone; har, har, har). Come! Join me on a quick tour of our new commune!
Members: Knitters, weavers and spinners, male or female, of any…er…“persuasion,” plus spouses, significant others and children, who want to live a fibery, communal but upscale-ish lifestyle.
Location: On these 40 acres in Okanogan, Washington. Gorgeous, no? Too bad neither I nor TMK nor anyone I know owns it. A minor detail.
Housing: Upscale yurts and geodesic domes with one super-colossal, ginormous dome for our Sanctum Sanctorum Stashorum.
Our Animalarium will include: Everyone’s pets, including, of course, Scooter, Cuzzin Tom’s parrot, plus sheep for the shearing- and spinning-inclined; angora rabbits for me, Robbyn and Melinda; a few extra corgis for LindaK, TMK, and Bron; horses for Nathania, TMK, Joan, Anj and me; a couple of alpacas; and one hamster. (Yes, TMK, I boldly fly in the face of your “no rodent” order! Ha-HA!) UPDATE, 11:18am: Big Sister reports she can also contribute a snail and some hermit crabs to our menagerie.
Transportation: In the interest of quiet and reduction of noise pollution, I vote for Segways.
Woodworker: Need I say? Except she needs to learn how to make spinning wheels.
Basketmaker: Vanessa.
Cooks: Everyone except me. Trust me, I'm doing you a favor.
Organic gardener: Norma
Almost-organic gardener: TMK
Musicians: TMK and Rachael’s new (ahem) “friend,” code word "Banjo Girl."
Scribe and historian: Norma, the court reporter.
Spiritual advisor, for those in need: Cuzzin Tom, of course (but, Tom, you’ll have to work on your Father Mulcahey act). UPDATE, 11:15am: Cuzzin Tom says he also wants to be Director of Avian Studies. Done. (Hey, I could get use to playing God!)
UPDATE, 3:14pm: Lay Spiritual Advisor: Janine. Both TMK and agree that just being in Janine's presence has a calming affect. She'd fit this role perfectly.
UPDATE, 3:26pm: Meg Swansen Channeler: Janine. While Janine is calming your inner child, she can simultaneously teach you how to design killer Fair Isle. Cool, no?
Storyteller: Sheila, who can make up colorful story full of wacky, folksy characters at the drop of a hat
Drama Director: Nathania (who, I believe, has been in movies or acted or, at the very least, has hobnobbed with the Hollywood elite. Am I right, Nathania?)
UPDATE, 3:34pm: Midwife: Stephanie
Child-rearing: We’ll do the “village” thing to free the moms and dads up to knit and spin and weave. And for those who are allergic to children, like TMK and me, we’ll have one child-free dome to escape to. Coincidentally, it'll be the Sanctum Sanctorum Stashorum.
Librarians: Anj, who currently does this for a living, I believe, and me.
Dance instructor: Belly dancer extraordinaire, Lisa.
Education: Anne, who is a professor at Duquesne University.
Games Director: My sister, who just recently received an air hockey game for her birthday. She needs to share. UPDATE, 11:18am: Big Sister reports she can also contribute a trampoline and hot tub.
Sports Coordinators: Debra, the baseball nut; Rebecca, who runs triathlons and swims for miles just for a lark; and Rachael, who recently ran 17 miles for the first time. (I know, I know, TMK; you like sports, too, but you’re already cooking, gardening, doing woodworking and providing tech and networking support (see below). Leave something for the other children.)
Directors of the Natural Dyeing Department: Melinda and me.
Monthly newsletter: Karen, who currently does a great job of it for Guild, plus anyone who wants to contribute.
Surveillance and security: StalkerAngie
Tech support, network administration: TMK, although this means that we will all have to use Macs.
Honorary Member: Barb from Texas, who has never met another knitter and whose sole responsibility will be to come be with us.
What am I missing? I know I’ve left some folks out but that’s because I don’t know what your special skills are. Robbyn? Joan? Samina? CarolineF? What unique skill can you bring to the table? Who still needs a job? Who wants to be assigned to one of the jobs already listed? And, oh, yeah, who has $50,000 to buy the land?
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Thank you for joining me on this quick tour of the commune. The exit door to RealityWorld is right this way...
"Jocularity, jocularity." How's that?
And if there's a belly dancer, I'm TOTALLY down for it. I mean, ah...*ahem*...just kidding, of course.
Can I also be Director of Avian Studies?
Posted by: Cuzzin Tom on September 15, 2004 11:15 AMbwahahahahahahahahahahahahaah!
I'll respond when I stop laffing my keister off.
Posted by: anj on September 15, 2004 11:25 AMHave I been forgotten or left out on purpose? (self-piteous voice) If I supply the money will you let me join?
Posted by: Janine on September 15, 2004 11:30 AMWhoa! I'm *so there*!!! And you can tell this is true, because the great satellite decided to let me see this post before it went to Russia and Australia. See? Kismet, karma, I dunno -- SOMETHING! As the great historian, (think Pepys) I'm printing out AND permalinking this post for good measure. What A TOTAL HOOT. Cuzzin' Tom, you are TOO MUCH.
Posted by: Norma on September 15, 2004 11:37 AMoh my, i will be honored to join all you lovely knitters (and friends-of-knitters)-
special skill to contribute? well, i do hold graduate degrees in both startitis and procrastination and will be delighted to share my abilities- oh, one special request- as i am the mom of 6, can i be assigned to a child-free zone for part of the time too?
wonder if the owner of the beautiful place would accept monopoly money-
stay happy-
Posted by: barb in texas on September 15, 2004 11:40 AMOh yes (on all three counts, actually)! I can put on theatricals! And musicals! Kevin is a choral director and we both sing, of course. We need a maker of marvelous costumes though. I quilt, but garment making is beyond me. Let's see... I can teach yoga. We can work on perfecting Needle Asana. If you twist my arm I might even agree to be baker of chocolate cakes.
Posted by: Nathania on September 15, 2004 12:14 PMI! Am! So! Pumped!
And I'm teaching LOTS of things, believe me.
Signed, yr Educator.
look out.
Posted by: Anne on September 15, 2004 12:27 PMHmmmm - I could take care of the animals and make the German pancakes. Also can come up with hair-brained knitting ideas at the drop of a needle.
Erm...
Comic relief?
Posted by: Robbyn on September 15, 2004 12:43 PMI'm IN!! I know I could find $50,000...you know there is a lot of change in my car and under the cushions of my furniture...oh, and boy do I need to catch up on the recyling... that'll do it, I"m sure.
This made me laugh out loud, always a good thing.
However, I hope YOU get a laugh out of this...when I went to the Windemere link at first glance I could have SWORN it said "Horsehit rd". I had to do a double take..
Posted by: Lisa in Oregon on September 15, 2004 12:44 PMSorry, Cuzzin Tom; the belly dancer bats for my team.
Janine, my bad. Of COURSE you can join the commune! I will think of something for your pronto--or is there anything in particular you want to do? (And if you plan on paying for the property with monopoly money, I hear Barb is taking up a collection.)
Nathania, I can supply you with a maker of marvellous costumes. That would be the Dance Director and Bellydancer Extraordinaire, Lisa from Oregon (who may be able to sew but, apparently, needs to brush up on her reading skills)
Posted by: Ryan on September 15, 2004 01:11 PMRyan - do I get to come as well? I'll run the accounts and do the baking...
Posted by: Angela on September 15, 2004 01:21 PM*sigh.. ok.. now that I am calmer..
it sounds lovely. Sue can be volunteered to teach the children as she is a grade school teacher by trade. I'll also volunteer to be photographer with TMK.
Sounds lovely. Altho I must admit I also had a slight reading problem. Sanctorum.. I read it correctly, but I kept thinking you meant santorum.. which isn't nice at all. I mean he represents me (supposedly) in congress, but really truly (imagine best gollum voice here) we hates him.
I want this to be a reality. imagine people coming to visit us and knitting freely. Who knows.. that might happen to you when Rachel shows up on your door. :)
Posted by: anj on September 15, 2004 01:26 PMWhat breathtaking property, even if we do have to rename the road for Lisa's sake...I remember my last great artistic feat as the prop-mistress in my high-school play - some 35 years ago, so I could help with theatricals. I cannot push myself forward as a dog trainer, since I have been totally unable to train MY corgi to do "the Towel"....or anything else except "eat", and a few similar tricks, some less savory than others! But as for, let us call it "art appreciation", I can say "OH, LOVELY" "What stunning colors" and, "My dear, how ORIGINAL of you" for quite unlimited periods of time. Would that be useful, do you think?
(Can you tell I've been listening to British novels on tape????)
I DO know a very fine water witch, if one is needed for the property....
You should know better than to ask me if I'm in. I've already started packing! My contributions to the group will be:
a) basketmaker #2
b) sometimes cook (mostly edible, occasionally good. I do make a MEAN chocolate chip pound cake, though. Can we live on just that?)
c) Hubby & I are CPAs. We'll figure out the financing thingy on the land. How about just squatting?
d) We'll be adding 2 dogs & 2 cats to the zoo, so I guess I'll have to volunteer for potty patrol & poopage scoopage duty.
Anyone want me to bring my big chili pot and keep it full? Sounds like a wonderful place and idea. My husband will hunt and fish. Are we sharing our stash??? Who has the money for the buildings? Yurts look good to me.
Posted by: Chery on September 15, 2004 02:07 PMOk, Hubby and I can also help with the tech support. I do software and hubby does networking, and hardware support and so on and so forth. I also have a family who will have to come. She's the mother of 6, loves kids and does homeschooling. Her hubby LOVES gardening and woodworking. That's all helpful, right? And she's almost as big a yarn addict as me.
Also, I think if we pool all our resources, we can come up with the 50K easy enough and have enough left over to start The Stash, get a few spinning wheels and dye kettles. When do we pack? I'm loving this idea!!
Ok, I also sing and hubby has a darn good voice though he doesn't think so. We'll be contributing 4 dogs as well. Ooh, do we have a midwife or a doctor on staff? Hubby and I do plan for children so maybe we can get Steph, a.k.a yarn harlot, to join in? So much to do so much to do...I gotta go pack.
Hope everyione has a great day!!!
Posted by: Stalker Angie on September 15, 2004 02:13 PMI love the way Stalker Angie thinks. Yes, we need the Harlot for her midwifery skills (Kevin and I are planning kids too) and to show us how to make those mad thrummed mittens. We'll need them up there in the wilds.
Posted by: Nathania on September 15, 2004 02:50 PMOK, I've been giving this a lot of thought.
1. I can cut steeks really well. I can be the resident knitting mohel.
2. I was a Girl Scout leader for many years. I can cook eggs-in-a-bag over an open fire. I can take any type of junk and turn it into fancier, labor-intensive junk. I can organize the bejezus out of just about any motley group. Day hikes, anyone?
3. I'm a good listener--you can all run to me when the knitting goes bad and you don't know what to do--blame yourself? your upbringing? the yarn? Talk to me.
4. I know Meg Swansen (a major, and I mean major, thing in my life!). I can quote Meg and Elizabeth chapter and verse. Forgotten how to I-cord? How to knit a kangaroo pouch? Where did EZ first settle when she arrived in the US? I'm your gal.
5. Good poop picker upper, which is obviously going to be a necessary skill at Horseshit Lane.
6. I'm not critical (at least out loud) so you can all feel good about yourselves (I don't know where this skill fits in, but I had to say it).
7. I know when to use a hyphen and when to use an en-dash. Gotta be useful some day, I hope.
I just know you'll let me in now...
Pooper scoopers will definitely be needed - I'm wondering if we need to look for more acreage? Will 40 acres be enough for us, at this rate?
Posted by: joan on September 15, 2004 03:17 PMCan I come to visit ?
Posted by: Emma on September 15, 2004 03:19 PMI have had a very bad, terrible, awful, horrible day and I need to come. I'm a lawyer, but before I get voted off the island before I get there, let me say that there is something called adverse possession - if we move onto the property and manage to stay there in an open, hostile and notorious (I'm sure there'd be no problem with that one) manner for 10 years, I think we could own it! Also, I have two teens, again, before booting me immediately, they are both excellent babysitters. Also, I make great brownies.
Posted by: Kim on September 15, 2004 03:23 PMSpooky, Janine--while you were adding your comment, I was updating the blog and made you Lay Spiritual Advisor (see your items 3 & 6). Now, I'm going to go back and add "Meg Swansen Channeler" to your title.
Emma, Come On Down!!
Heck, Joan, as long as we're tourists in Fantasy Land, we can buy any size property we want! 40 acres, 50, 100! Whatever size it is, we can't afford it so, go ahead, knock yerself out! :-)
Posted by: Ryan on September 15, 2004 03:25 PMKim, as I said to Emma, Come On Down!! You've already told us how we can get the land for free so you seem to be a very useful sort. Besides I'm sure that, despite everyone's best intentions, at least one fight would break out over who owns what in the Sanctum Sanctorum Stashorum and we would need you there to settle things. Or take the disputed yarn for yourself. Whatever works.
Posted by: Ryan on September 15, 2004 03:33 PMOkay... tell Cuzzin Tom we got here a gal that directed a belly dance troupe for some years.
Moderately straight, mostly monogamous, perhaps a little long in the tooth, but hell, I think we could jiggle something out.
And I got me a ferret to throw in the pot.
This is what happens when I arrive at the blog late in the day. Talk about out of control...
I wanna come, I wanna come. I haven't got a ferret or any music or cooking skills. I'm a lousy zen master, but I sure can knit!
Mary
Posted by: Mary on September 15, 2004 04:57 PMif i can come i promise to finish everyones second sock. i imagine that will let me stay for a long time
Posted by: susan on September 15, 2004 06:38 PMMe! I wanna join. I can write irate and sanctimonious letters to the local press defending our lifestyle against all dubious and dismissive disbelievers.
Or I can clean the kitchen.
Whichever you think is more important at any given moment. I can lick boots too, if you want.
I get to be a Sports Coordinator. I mean it when I say never in my wildest, wildest dreams would my name and the word "sports" be in the the same sentence. Hooray! And Banjo gets to come, too! (Although I'm going to take my time breaking it to her--she had a bad communal experience years ago and still has flashbacks....)
Love it.
Well, Kit, thanks, but it's all theoretical. I don't "bat" for any team anymore. 'Sides, I live in Sedona, where there's an "Awakening the Fourth Chakra Through The Wisdom of the Belly Spirit" workshop, like, every weekend.
Now 'scuse me while I go indulge my insatiable addiction to watching windbreaker-clad weather dorks getting pummeled by hurricane winds. So far, the winner, hands down, is CNN's Anderson Cooper who's resigned himself to hunkering behind an enormous potted palm, while maintaining admirably articulate color commentary on the apocalypse howling around him.
Posted by: Cuzzin Tom on September 15, 2004 10:26 PMwhoohoo, i was thrilled beyond measure to find i'm the basketmaker! and i sure wish i would have had "the village" around when i had to raise my younguns all by myself ;o)
Posted by: vanessa on September 16, 2004 03:27 AMUm - yes I need a job, what can I do?? I can bring my fiddle and jam with Banjo Girl but I'm not sure that will put me on anyone's good list. I can maintain the communal blog, having gotten some Movable Type experience at the Pink Tea (however I've never used a Mac so we'll have to have a PC insurgency). I can groom cats (with assistance if said cats do not want to be groomed). I'll think of something!
Posted by: CarolineF on September 16, 2004 05:35 AMI think this post could take on a life of its own Ryan dear....
Cuzzin Tom: Whew. Thanks for clearing things up there, I was thinking "now wait a minute, what kind of Buddhist MONK is interested in hooking up with a belly dancer....?" ;D I lerv your title for belly dance events, can I steal it????
Susan, Bay-beeee....you get to live next to me!!! Some one to finish my second sock...this isn't a commune...it's HEAVEN!
Rachel: Banjo will be lovingly indoctrinated...resistance is futile.... ;)
Wow! You were right, this was a post not to miss!Don't know what I can contribute, but I am sure that I can come up with something or another. Stitch marker perhaps? And do I really have to exit to reality?
Posted by: marti on September 16, 2004 08:07 AMWow, cuz, check it. This post has gotten your ladies more jazzed than the Prompt, Efficient, 7AM Sex one.
Posted by: Cuzzin Tom on September 16, 2004 08:08 AMI'll bring my equipment and join Steph in midwifery duties - must always have two, you know. I also have an excellent reputation as a 'baby whisperer'. And if that fails, I can walk and dance them around for hours - their own mothers should do the breastfeeding though!
I can be dog trainer, kids' arts and crafts playmate, compost co-ordinator, maternal-child healthcare provider and educator, aqua-yoga instructor (there will be an indoor heated lake, right?) I can provide a vast library and stash, and bring camp-counsellor type teens.
Wow, upon rewriting my CV here, I am clearly wasting my talents at the moment. I am also a good fundraiser - let's get going!!!
Hey, I wanna come! Puh-leeeze? I could be poet-in-residence, and I'm even willing to take in finshing work for the privilege of joining this merry band. And Wee C is a great helper, even if she is a kid, and she'd much rather live with a crowd than just her one momma ~
Posted by: maggi on September 16, 2004 08:18 AMAlison: Forget the heated lake! We'll have a nice big, chlorinated indoor pool (with diving board, of course!), and hot tub! I guess I'll add "pool girl" to my list of jobs!
And can I add my guitar and voice to the community "band"?
TMK
Posted by: The Mysterious K on September 16, 2004 08:37 AMOh! I'm so excited to be in charge of sports! I will not be leaving the Mossy Cottage Knitting and Fiber Commune for reality. The commune sounds like more fun than is allowable!
Posted by: Rebecca on September 16, 2004 09:17 AMCan I be co-director of Games because I love Air Hockey and have been known to force young children to play because they are easier to beat?
If K makes a spinning wheels, I want one. A Lot. I have almostlearned to spin with my hand spindle so I'm ready.
Is Normma teaching Yoga too? (Not that 100 degree kind, but Rodney Yee meditation type).
What a hoot (for Cuzzin Tom, of course) -- it appears that a rift is already developing in utopia. Appears we may need that lawyer after all. Little did we ever expect that the rift would develop as to what style YOGA should be taught!!!! Heeehehhehehehehe (Nathania commented at my blog that Bikram's not her style, either. So if this is a Democracy -- which it's not -- I say it's an empire -- we'll have to figure out which style of yoga to teach -- or, of course, teach them ALL!)
Posted by: Norma on September 16, 2004 03:59 PMSo, Cuzzin Tom, you're benched, eh? Well damn, boy, you're still on a team; you're still in uniform. What we gotta come up with now is a pinch-hitter for you... Come on people, let's get us some Creative Thinkin' goin' on here! I've already got my finger cymbals and sequins packed.
Posted by: Kit on September 16, 2004 04:40 PMPartial to strawberry-banana yoga, myself.
Kit, darlin', I ain't even in the stadium. Actually, there's an episode recorded in the sutras where, just before the Buddha's enlightenment, Mara sent an apparition to nubile, scantily-clad, suggestive dancing girls to tempt him out of it. The Buddha used his mind to fast-forward the apparition to what they'd look like in 60 years. His meditation remained undistracted. This is, of course, to illustrate how unlike the Buddha I am.
I gotta bring my ancient cat, Miss Belle (pushing 19!), along with Scooter. And I haven't heard a peep about cribbage.
Posted by: Cuzzin Tom on September 16, 2004 06:03 PMAaaah ha ha! Sorry about the double comment, but here's how far off course this thread has blown from it original knitting moorings:
I was reading back through and when I got to Janine saying, "I can cut steeks really well", I though she was boasting of her beef butchery skills, but with a Scottish accent! Ay yi yi.
Posted by: Cuzzin Tom on September 16, 2004 06:14 PMCuzzin Tom - all these belly-dancers will be still awesome in 60 years, experience will only add to the grace and confident beauty. Wearing purlple, perhaps, but the flow will be better than ever....
Posted by: alison on September 16, 2004 07:06 PMOK, I've been lurking for awhile now, enjoying tales of knitting, woodworking, grass, Cuzzin Tom, and seeing Frankie modeling. I am now inspired to pipe up: please let me come! Please? Pretty please? I'm currently a graduate student in Pittsburgh--I can be Anne's TA. Every prof needs a TA, right?
Of course, my current status makes $50K a number beyond my wildest dreams. Phooey! Well, I'll have pleasant dreams of the commune tonight at least...
Posted by: Kristen on September 16, 2004 08:47 PMI'm glad to hear the news that the belly-dancers will be even better in 60 years. I was a belly dancer some 30 years ago. Now, alas, I'm more belly and less dance....I would describe my grace factor at this stage as that of an elderly Corgi in deep snow...Just proof Ryan - your blog is all about hope!
Posted by: joan on September 16, 2004 09:34 PMOo, oo, oo! I wanna play! Can I be the angora bunny trainer, pwease? I've got five to bring with me (as well as like a gazillion pounds of preclipped bunny fur). If I can bring DH with me, he would be GLAD to build spinning wheels, or spindles, or niddy-noddies, or... or....
We can ride over with Norma - I call shotgun. And I need to make sure there's a clause in our contract that no one can refer to me as the "lady with the furry buns". 'Kay?
Posted by: Anne on September 17, 2004 09:14 AM