Because it made both my monk and my stalker (now there’s a phrase I never thought I’d write) wrinkle their little button noses, I solemnly swear to never again write anything that includes me, a toilet, and the color yellow. (If this is your first time reading this blog, I promise this is not as weird as it sounds.)
I must say, however, Dear Readers, that The Mysterious K and I both thoroughly enjoyed the dialog about everyone’s Two Things. We want more! More!! And, are you, in turn, ready for more Dribs and Drabs About This Blogger?
9 More Things
7. I grew up in Peru, Columbia, Brazil, the Philippines, Singapore and Switzerland. Yes, Switzerland is all it’s cracked up to be. If your significant other asks you one day, “Hon, would you like to spend vacation at the Jersey shore or, oh, I don’t know, in Switzerland?,” you know the answer.
8. My feet are not ticklish. Go near my ribs, however, and I will beat the crap out of you. In a girlish way, of course, with my arms flailing every way and not really landing any of the blows. But then I will cry because I know it will make you feel bad. Once a princess, always a princess.
9. My middle name is Richardson. This does nothing to help stem the flow of mail addressed to Mr. Morrissey.
10. The FBI has a file on me. I know this because, when I was younger and landed in the United States after a trip to Taiwan, two FBI agents identified me by name, pulled me out of the customs line, and took me to a separate room for my very own personal frisking, ransacking of possessions, and mini-interrogation. This is because I fit the profile of a potential drug runner—a college-age American male (see item #9) making a quick trip to and from Asia. Once they saw I was female, had no drugs, and was just traveling to Taiwan to see my family the way some other college kid might go to Minnesota, it took the wind out of their over-inflated FBI sails and they were reduced to going through lame-o frisking, ransacking and interrogating motions so they didn’t look like total dweebs. They were actually very nice and respectful. I thought the whole thing was cool. I was 18. What did I know?
11. I would love to live in Vermont or Connecticut. But then again, maybe I’m just thinking of the Vermont and Connecticut you see in postcards. Come to think of it, buying a postcard would be cheaper than moving.
12. I have epilepsy but it has been under control for manymany years. Before it was diagnosed, one particularly fun day I blacked out in the shower and bruised every part of my body that sticks out even slightly: The side of my foot, my ankle bone, my calf, my knee, my hip, my elbow, my shoulder, my jaw, my cheekbone, and my temple. Human connect-the-dot! Wheeeee!
Over the years I’ve learned that people are morbidly fascinated by this disease, and it’s interesting to watch their faces contort as they try to figure out if it’s kosher to ask questions about it. The answer is yes.
13. I have never smoked cigarettes, “funny” or otherwise, or used drugs. (Which reminds me that the phrase “recreational drugs” amuses me to no end. For me, it evokes images of someone gathering up vials or hypodermic needles or cocaine spoons or joints and juggling with them. Or kicking them down a field toward a goal. Or playing tic-tac-toe with them. Or, a la Martha, making a mobile out of them or filling up a piñata with them and beating it until they spill out on the ground to cries of laughter and surprise.)
14. I like cleaning bathrooms. Before you ask, the answer is no. Even if you make Shrek 2 Puss-in-Boots eyes at me and promise to pay my airfare. Or bribe me with chocolate.
15. My whole name means Little King, Son of the Powerful and Brave One, Enchantment of the Sea. Damn; now I'm going to start getting mail to Mr. Enchantment of the Sea.
Knitting Knews
I finished the alpaca scarf last night. Tried to put a fringe on it but didn’t have enough yarn left, and ended up with something that looked like a wispy combover. The fringe is so unattractive that it even made the alpaca-obsessed TMK take a step back. I am so keeping that fringe!
Dear Mr. Enchantment of the Sea,
Oh I just couldn't stop myself from writing that :) I love the drips and drabs about "This Blogger"! Keep them coming!
Posted by: Rebecca on December 10, 2004 09:32 AMOkay, Ryan, since you admitted one of my secret vices, i.e., I also like cleaning bathrooms, and I also wouldn't clean anyone else's ON A BET... I'll cave and name two things.
Wait, are these two things I'd like to do that could happen pretty easily, or say, two things I'll have to work on for years? I guess I'll have to sort!
My number one dream is I'd like it if someday (and this is a years thing) my wonderful Norwegian fjord horse/pal and I were both trained well enough to do one really outstanding musical freestyle dressage test - at maybe Third level? That's probably our top (well, he could go higher but he's packing ME, after all....)For those who aren't horsey, this would be like waltzing with a horse, to music...
And if I got that wish, what else in the world could I possibly want? I'll have to think about number two. (Wait - will that take a yellow room?)
Posted by: joan on December 10, 2004 11:05 AMNo freakin' way, Joan! You own a Norwegian Fjord pony?!! We've gone to a lot of dressage shows and have seen the Fjords "doing there thing." Oooo, freaky; maybe we've even seen you! And TMK is fascinated by Fjords. I love Arabs and her "breed" is quarter horses but there's just something about Fjords that has fascinated her since she saw her first one. Maybe she'll chime in and tell us a bit about her fascination... Also, Joan, if you're ever competing somewhere, let us know and we, at least I, will be glad to come cheer you on. Seriously; any excuse to get around horses!
Oh, and the definition of the Two Things is whatever you'd like them to be. By their very nature, they're obviously something you haven't done yet, but that doesn't mean they're hard or unattainable. I mean, for the life of me I can't figure out why TMK and I haven't gone to the Grand Canyon yet, now that I've learned it's one of her "things." Heck, we could be there tomorrow!
Rebecca, glad you're enjoying the list! BTW, TMK said last night she loves your photos on your blog of the doorways!
Posted by: Ryan on December 10, 2004 11:13 AMJoan: I love Fjord ponies! I think it probably has something to do with the fact that they are the corgi equivalent of a horse. They're cute. They're fuzzy. And I can get into the saddle without needing a box. I also think they look striking as dressage horses because they're so different than all those big, lanky Hanoverians that people usually ride.
TMK
Posted by: The Mysterious K on December 10, 2004 11:22 AMBeats Chicken of the Sea, I guess.
I've always been much more fascinated with Tourette's Syndrome than epilepsy. They're showing a documentary about it called, I kid you not, "Twitch and Shout", at the library next week. I'll be in the front row.
"cries of laughter and surprise" made me bark so loud that Scooter yelped.
My full monastic name is Thubten Konchog Norbu. It translates as "Supremely Rare Jewel, Upholder of the Dharma". When non-Tibetan speakers inquire, I tell them it means "Hopelessly Ignorant Worm". What really makes me laugh is that *all* Tibetan names are like that. So calling someone might be something like, "Oh, hi, this is Supremely Rare Jewel. Is Shining, Immaculate Lotus around?"
Currently in Mongolia's capital, Ulan Bator, it's -12 (feels like -24!). Did I tell ya'll I'm going to Mongolia? Hopefully not until spring.
Posted by: Cuzzin Tom on December 10, 2004 11:24 AMI, on the other hand, think the bigger, the taller, the more Hanoverian-ish, the better.
Posted by: Ryan on December 10, 2004 11:25 AMI started on Wednesday working on my 100 Things. Don't know what to do with it as I feel funny hijacking Pink Tea for it. But I'm only up to 75 so far.
Two Things. Hm. Well, I would love to actually be in a real band. You know, the kind that plays places, and people show up on purpose to see them. This would have to be an Irish dance band.
I'm having trouble with the second thing. I'd like to see the Vietnamese village where Emily is sort of from. I'd like to spend a month in each of about 3 favorite European countries. I'd like to retire and spend all my time knitting and spinning and playing in my house. I'd say I'd like to have a decent relationship, but that would be currying the pity vote.... this would make sense if you read the 100 Things I'm working on.
Posted by: CarolineF on December 10, 2004 11:46 AMOh, and since my mother, your aunt, lives in Vermont, I can tell you most of it looks *exactly* like the postcards. Honest. It would blow your mind.
BTW, I spoke to her last night and she says she learned to knit at age 5 from her grandmother in the 18th c. farmhouse she grew up in, in Woodstock, VT. She said most of her clothes were hand-sewn and -knit by her mother and grandmother. As I think I mentioned before, they also raised angora rabbits, but what I didn't know is that they also clipped and spun the wool themselves (do you still call it "wool" if it's a rabbit?) and sold the skeins of yarn. She said your great-aunt co-owned a store in Woodstock for a time with a Brit from Bermuda, and that was an outlet for some of the angora goodies.
My mother lamented both that her task at age 12 was to clean out the rabbit poop and that the antique spinning wheel is lost.
Posted by: Cuzzin Tom on December 10, 2004 12:25 PMCuzz, your monk name made me swoon--until I realized that it reminded me of the names they give purebred dogs, you know: Dandy's Curly-Wurly of the North, Morninglight Skipping Twinkletoes, Shining Fang of Dark Corners of Evil. You get the idea. But inquiring minds want to know, do YOU pick your name or is it bestowed upon you? And NOW I'm envisioning what someone would have to say if they were introducing us for the first time, especially if they did it the old-fashioned, formal way: "Little King, Son of the Powerful and Brave One, Enchantment of the Sea I'd like you to meet Supremely Rare Jewel, Upholder of the Dharma. Supremely Rare Jewel, Upholder of the Dharma, I'd like you to meet Little King, Son of the Powerful and Brave One, Enchantment of the Sea." Oy.
You do realize you're not HELPING by telling me Vermont looks like the postcards, don't you?
Oh, and Cuzz, you and me, we can TALK Tourette's. I've got some stories...er, but not about me. See you in Yahoo land.
Posted by: Ryan on December 10, 2004 12:54 PMThis is fun...I am enjoying your dribs and drabs of 100 things....Besides, I didn't know there WAS anyone who enjoys cleaning the bathroom, and now I know there are more than one.
Learn something new everyday, right?
No longer morose..well at least currently not morose, my continuation of two things would be:
1. Go to Rakkasah West, THE biggest bellydance function on the West coast (California) in March. I am actually working on making this happen in 2005! see: http://www.rakkasah.com/
2. See Ellen Degeneres live. Who am I kidding, to hang out with Ellen, that would be it.
Posted by: Lisa in Oregon on December 10, 2004 01:47 PMYa know, the blog itself made me snort. Outloud. Then I read the comments and I can't quit laughing. I just keep reading them over and over. I honestly don't know who is funnier. The Blog Mistress or the Dear Readers. Good stuff. I now want to name my dog Shining Fang of Dark Corners of Evil. Fluffy for short.
My name means Angel, Of Rebelliousness, Of the town on the low ground, meadow or pasture, Slasher/Stranger. Should this worry me? Cuz it does. Stalking is one thing but to be the Rebellious slasher angel from the lowlands is like rubber room material. Can we play a new game now? Thanks.
Hope everyone has a great day!
Angie, wait until you see what I have for the blog on Monday. By noon on Monday (my time) we'll ALL have new names.
Lisa, your two ideas? Very original! I'm likin' 'em!
Posted by: Ryan on December 10, 2004 02:41 PMDear Ryan and TMK,
Yes, I have a Corgi AND a Fjord. Can you guess I'm short and blonde? And, er, rounder than I'd like?
I'm fairly sure you haven't seen me compete, since only this year I got up the nerve to enter my FIRST dressage test, at a schooling show, and fortunately (though I won, in a field of two!)almost no one was there! If I do compete some day I'll be happy to let you know OFF-BLOG...But I assure you that my horse, very like a Corgi, believes he is the center of the universe and anyone who wants to come meet and worship him is more than welcome!
I laughed so hard at #12 it hurt!
My first names are ridiculously Christian, which I am not. The meaning of my last name remains a mystery though some out there suppose it is an Anglo-Saxon bastardization of a Scandinavian for "hawk nose."
BTW, I read your name out loud to my SO and he looked up at me over his book and said, "So, essentially she's the Little Mermaid?"
Posted by: Kristen on December 10, 2004 02:51 PMAh,epilepsy.Tell us more.What does a seizure feel like ? Or do you lose consciousness ? I have vested interests...
I'm really enjoying reading your blog and comments.Don't have the energy to be sufficiently witty to join in !
Posted by: Emma on December 10, 2004 03:09 PMEmma, I'd be more than glad to answer any and all questions, at least based on my experience which may be different from anyone else's. Why don't you email me at rymorriss at yahoo dot com so I can get your email address and we can chat?
Posted by: Ryan on December 10, 2004 03:24 PMI, Blind Bright One (loved finding out the meaning of my name), would like to do the following two things:
1. Cruise through the Panama Canal.
2. See the fall colors in New England
Damn, I hate getting to Ryan's parties late. I agree with Stalker Ang -- your blog has the distinction of having the best and most clever Dear Readers OF ALL. I dunno what my name means, all together. I hope it's something as great as The Little Mermaid or Supremely Rare Jewel, Upholder of the Universe. Actually, it could be something like the latter. I know Norma is derived from the Latin for "model." You know, like "normal." My middle given name is "Mae," as in West. So I could be Model Hooker of High Spirit and Big Mouth. Yeah. That WOULD be me.
Posted by: Norma on December 10, 2004 06:13 PMRyan you now officially qualify as A Bad Influence: I finished my 100 Things. I am very self-conscious about having done them, however, so one will have to purposely click on the sidebar at Pink Tea to get to them... I guess that makes me inconsistent!
Posted by: CarolineF on December 10, 2004 06:56 PMi'm late to the party too-
well, *all* of us who were named barbara (and wow, was that an in vogue name once upon a time) know that it means outlandish barbarian or rogue invader or something like that-
did any of the rest of you ever have teachers who just insisted on telling everyone in class what their names meant- i would go home wailing because some of my friends names meant lovely things and i was an 'invading vandal'- my poor mom kept telling me she named me for a friend of hers, but i had to get a bit older to believe that story-
um, wouldn't it be awful though if we were actually given the names we deserve!
stay happy-
Posted by: barb in texas on December 10, 2004 07:05 PMOh ye gods! I am laughing myself into a coma now because of Norma. Too funny.
Posted by: Stalker Angie on December 10, 2004 07:12 PMI can share two things that I will try to tie to your list.
1) My husband grew up in Vermont. I like it there for about the first six hours. Then I start to get antsy. By day two, I am ready to *kill* for good Chinese food and a foreign movie.
2) I smoked for 9 years. I quit 11 years ago.
Posted by: Jessica on December 10, 2004 09:41 PMAngie, we don't want you in a coma. I'll keep talking to you, coz they say people can still hear when they're in a coma. And *hey* Jessica! That's enough of that. I live in Vermont. We HAVE good Chinese food. And Indian and Thai and Brazilian, French, and even an authentic (truly) English pub. Not that anybody in the world except me and a handful of others want to eat English pub food. But we're the home of some pretty damn good eats. We have the New England Culinary Institute. It's awesome -- that is, if you're in Burlington, St. Albans, Stowe, or Woodstock. If you're in the rest of the state, your shit outta luck. Once my sister-in-law nearly lost her head. She's not one of my favorite people in the whole world. Actually, I can't stand her for more than three milliseconds at a time. We were sitting around our house, and she suddenly brightened up and said, "Let's go out for Vietnamese food!" I mean just how multicultural does she expect this poor little state to BE! She was obviously doing it to piss me off. She succeeded.
Posted by: Norma on December 10, 2004 10:15 PMOops, see how pissed off I was? I left a typo in there. GASP! "your" GASP!
Also, we have two artsy movie houses. Once again, you have to be in Burlington or Montpelier for those. But our rental shop also carries all those good'uns - a far better inventory than your average city rental shop, so says my daughter's boyfriend from Boston.
But I dunno about the postcard thing. It's hard to ask a native about the beauty, if there is any. You know, you just see it every day, and it just looks like trees and dirt and roads to me. But I am kinda partial to trees and dirt.
Posted by: Norma on December 10, 2004 10:22 PMhave never been to vermont, but connecticut is gawgeous dahling. the village square in guilford, the griswold inn in essex...
my first name means butterfly. i kinda like my whole name, vanessa mary katherine tekawitha kush toepper jordan patrick grimmett. but i think sheila has me beat ;-0
hey, if you and tmk go to rheinbeck next fall, you could swoop right down through vermont and connecticut :-)
Posted by: vanessa on December 11, 2004 02:39 AMThe fact that my mom's name is Barbara and meant "raging barbarian" was the most hilarious fact of our childhood. We STILL remind her of it. My name means Goddess of the Moon; I could almost be a monk, or a purebred dog!!
The best Thai meal I ever had was in Ludlow, Vermont. My husband grew up in Vermont and I'd move there in a heartbeat. And have a farm like Tasha Tudor's, with 100 corgis running around...
Posted by: Diana on December 11, 2004 05:25 AMThis is too funny. I'm gobbling books to prepare for Mongolia and now I'm reading "In the Empire of Genghis Khan", by an Irishman who gets a wild hair to ride across Mongolia on horseback. He happens to be an historian and a darn fine writer. Much of the introductory section concerns the ancient conflicts between the city dwellers who consider themselves "civilized" and, in a kind of fearful arrogance, dismiss the nomad "barbarians". The nomads, meanwhile, laugh at the city dwellers, who they feel have merely built themselves a golden cage. When the city folks get too decadent and weak, and it happens like historical clockwork, the nomads sweep in and strip the carcass clean.
I know. A little dramatic for the VT/not VT debate, but it made me chuckle. I'm straining at the leash to go live among the barbarians. And I don't mean some of your mothers. Go figure.
Posted by: Cuzzin Tom on December 11, 2004 07:21 AMCT-
If I had to choose between living with a hoarde of barbarians or a group of mothers, well, pass me my set of skins for my new wardrobe. Barbarians are easier to get along with.
Norma-
I am speaking to you telepathically since you have officially sent me into a coma. You really have to stop being so damn funny. But thanks for the rest! And if it's any consolation, Barb and Diana helped. :o)
Well, my name means Pure, God's Gracious Gift, which in no way represents me accurately. Ask anyone who's seen me behind the wheel of a car! ;-)
TMK
Posted by: The Mysterious K on December 11, 2004 03:10 PMPure?!!! God's Gracious Gift??!! Surely you jest. --Signed, the Washington State Department of Motor Vehicles.
Posted by: Ryan on December 11, 2004 03:12 PMI love peoples lists!
I love all horses, big and small... I tend to actually like the really big or the really small....
Posted by: Amie on December 13, 2004 10:46 AMHere's a cute corgi for you guys.
http://homepages.together.net/~kbruce/kbbspin.html
Norma,
No disrepect meant for VT. It's just not for *me.* I am a city mouse, not a country mouse. I start to twitch if it gets too serene or I'm more than 30 minutes from a mall with a GAP. ;)