Although the heart and the mind are ever willing, the blog continues to suffer from the doldrums, and this morning I finally realized why: Most other bloggers have Infinite Sources of Entertainment. Case in point: Anne wrote an entire entry once about how, in school, her young son was given demerits for throwing his pants at the wall. Kim gets a lot of mileage out of her shorn bunnies and insanely cute dogs. Today Sheila posted a picture of the Gawd-awful mess her dogs made with the innards of a feather pillow. And anyone who reads Rachael’s blog knows how much mileage she gets out of girlfriend Lala and Lala’s dogs, music and hair. But my life is vewy, vewy quiet. No children, no pets (even the Pseudo-Adopted Cat’s visits have become few and far between), no humorous or puzzling or annoying husband and, since The Mysterious K and I usually spend the week in our separate homes, most days, no partner to spy and tattle on. So, to breathe new life into the blog, my plan is now to get a cat, get a dog, get a rabbit, adopt a child, and marry a man. (What’s that, TMK? Did you say something?)
In Knitting Knews, I started a scarf based on the Sideways Garter-Stitch Scarf on this page, although in seed stitch, not garter, and in some outrageous turquoise, red and purple yarns which will appeal to a child but make me feel slightly bilious. This scarf is mindless and fun but I’m having trouble wrapping my head around the fact that it takes 15 minutes for me to knit one (220-stitch) row. That’s just wrong, wrong, I tell you!
Lastly, to entertain you while I get a cat, get a dog, get a rabbit, adopt a child and marry a man, if you enjoyed the “knights who say ‘Ni!’” reference a few entries ago, then you will surely enjoy this.
I've decided to lurk no longer! Found your site looking for sock patterns, love the dublin bay and have finished the 1st one. it is only my 11th sock! Who knew socks could be so much fun! I enjoy your blog even if you don't have pets,kids or a husband. I went to the beggining blog to catch up on what everyone was talking about,and discovered a very diverse and interesting group of friends. thanks for a fun site. (sorry but what is an URL?}
Posted by: laura on January 28, 2005 01:58 PMLaura, welcome, welcome!!
URL is just a fancy word for "web address." It stands for Universal Resource Locator.
I am SO excited that you finished a Dublin Bay! If you have a digital camera, I would be thrilled if you sent a picture to post on the blog...
Posted by: Ryan on January 28, 2005 02:02 PMDarn it, Ryan, you can't do that to me. I just choked reading your blog. You really ought to give us some warning, laughing tea all over the keyboard is not so good for being able to keep my own blog up. And just so you know, you need no cat, dog, rabbit, child or man to be entertaining. We love you just as you are, doldrums and all.
The Knights of Ni doll must be added to my collection - someday. I think I might buy one for my brother for his birthday too. Thanks for the link.
Uh. Do I have any say in the acquiring of cat, dog, rabbit, man?
TMK
Posted by: The Mysterious K on January 28, 2005 03:06 PMI hate to be the spoilsport (but I am, usually). You will not have any time to blog if you get all of those things. I'd pick bunnny and dog, just fyi. The child/man options just live too damn long.
Posted by: Cassie on January 28, 2005 03:07 PMOf COURSE you do, TMK!! Don't be silly. You can come with me to the cat kennel, dog kennel, rabbit kennel and man kennel to help me pick out one of each.
Posted by: Ryan on January 28, 2005 03:08 PMThat's a good plan. You could also get a lot of fodder out of a drunken bender or telling lots of private personal details about everyone you work with.
Or you could sink really low and do what I did yesterday...a quiz! Truly scraping the bottom of the blog content barrel.
Ya know, I laughed all through the entry (as usual) and even L-O-V-E the doll link. I must own one. Then you said "man kennel" and I lost it. Ye freakin gods. The visual Image is too much! And it leads to thoughts of calling the Man Catcher out to get strays, and collaring your man so no other women take him home by mistake and neutering would become an option. *snicker* *snort*
Hope everyone has a great day!
Posted by: Stalker Angie on January 28, 2005 03:35 PMLet me enable you......hehe......
I have the rabbits, dogs, hubby and children......go for the bunnies low maitence and they don't talk, whine or bark...LOL
Dogs: They need to be walked and played with, especially puppies...oh gawd. Don't get a dog.
Cats: you have to clean their litter box and they like string wayyyyy tooo muuccccch.
Children: Honey, I have four. Come take one of mine for a week and you will know why you don't want to go there.
Husbands: Not all they are cracked up to be.
Rabbit: Excellent, wonderful choice. Quiet. Can be box trained and it's not nearly as gross as a cat box. Warm and soft. They like to be petted and don't care if you play with them, nor do they have to be walked. Just keep 'em away from electrical cords...they like to chew on them. ZAP. No more bunny.
Really, Ryan. A man? I don't know whether to laugh or scream. L
Posted by: Lisa in Oregon on January 28, 2005 04:52 PMHa! Man Kennel! I love that one. Does that mean we could take one back there if we decided later we really didn't want him?? As is usual with dogs, the man-mutts are probably better specimens than the pure bred expensive ones.
Posted by: Lorette on January 28, 2005 04:58 PMAhem. that's all I'm going to say. Ahem.
Posted by: Norma on January 28, 2005 06:00 PMOK the man kennel did it for me, I can go to bed happy.
I suggest that dogs and men are too much work, too messy, too noisy, too needy, and generally too disruptive. Stick with cats and rabbits (but keep them safely separated). If that is TOO quiet for you then add one child...ask me how I know any of this.
Posted by: CarolineF on January 28, 2005 06:44 PMHeh.
Now that I'm not running all over the place, ridiculous mileage on the weekends, what else is there to write about?
:)
Ryan! You are a hoot! I can loan you my cat BUT believe me you'll get tired of cleaning the litter box very quickly and her constant need for attention. And if you find a man kennel, I'm going there first! You already have the Fabulous TMK!
Posted by: Rebecca on January 28, 2005 10:58 PMYeah! Ha ha ha! Exactly! Men are like...hey, waaaait just a dern minute.
Ooh, it's spooky to hear how wimmen talk amongst themselves sometimes. And this is a public forum! I can't even imagine what it's like when...oh, I'm just not going there.
OTOH, it's conceivable that my sister had me come out earlier this month to watch my nephew while they were traveling so they *wouldn't* have to put him in a kennel. Him being 16 and all.
Posted by: Cuzzin Tom on January 29, 2005 06:09 AMOh, I am sorry I didn't get to this blog until now. My stomach aches from laughing so hard! Man kennel! Keep this up, everyone, and I should have a six pack in no time! (Don't disillusion me.)
Dogs: good, but not for the mildly absentminded
Cats: good, very good (my man and I have three)
Rabbits: good, but chew everything in sight (friend has two, everything in her apartment within rabbit reach is shredded)
Men: well, I lucked out and three years ago, and at the ripe old age of 32, I managed to git me one who's definitely hetero, but doesn't have "XY chromosome syndrome" (he finds pro sports inane! he washes dishes! he lets me drive! he's not afraid of my gay friends!); haven't married him though, just "living in sin"
Howumsoever, I think you ought to stick with TMK, it seems like you got a pretty good deal going on there, even if you think you're too boring to blog. (You're not!)
Posted by: Kristen on January 29, 2005 11:57 PMMan Kennel? OMG! Ryan you are just the best!
Posted by: marti on January 30, 2005 08:47 AMHaving seen each of those "things," and seen each of them in a kennel, my reading experience is that much more enjoyable.
But I think I'll back TMK up on this one. I wouldn't want to cross her, and I certainly wouldn't want to see her face when the man shows up. Because you would order one, right? Like on Ebay? Or maybe through a catalogue, yeah? I don't know how else you would get one. We do it with cats, dogs, rabbits and children. Why not with men?
Posted by: Sara* on January 30, 2005 12:10 PMOHMYGOD--I'm back from my trip to the foreign east coast, where sophistication and seriousness are the norm, only to find that I have a dribble of snot on my upper lip after reading your blog and its links. I am so not sophisticated or serious. I'm going to find the toilet paper roll now. Then I'll go pick up John at the kennel...
Posted by: Janin on January 30, 2005 12:25 PMyou simply cannot get a man. if you did we would be deprived of tmk's woodworking projects.
Posted by: vanessa on January 31, 2005 06:10 AMMan kennel????
I feel i should be offended, but can't stop laughing...I would go fer a pet Ryan, trust me, men are way more high matienence then say a puppy or a cat:)
So glad to see that TMK is not against a child, and that no one else has had the brilliant idea of requesting adoption.
Adopt me, adopt me - I'm nearly full grown, and employed, and I come with a stash I'd be willing to share....