April 25, 2005
Another Trip to Manland
Please ignore the heavy sighing, the shaking hands, the panicked stare, the clammy brow... I am recovering from my least favorite thing, a trip to Manland, in this case the mechanic. Mind you, the Chrysler dealer where I take "Camilla" is large, clean and well-lit, with cordial and efficient employees who remember my name every time I go in, not some shady, oily (in all senses of the word), fly-by-night outfit, run by Bubba and Mad Dog. But still, every time, without fail, I’m left feeling terrified, drained and pitted out in a most unladylike way. I envy The Mysterious K who is at least car-savvy enough to sprinkle her conversation with the mechanic with car-related words. She can say things like, “Wow, had a great breakfast this morning. The extra WD-40 I put on my pancakes really hit the spot.” Or, “Did some gardening this weekend. I planted some carburetors, pistons and camshafts, and I think they’re really going to add to the landscape.” But, me, no matter how hard I try to pour on the machismo, no matter how much swagger and testosterone I try to bring to the table, the minute I drive into the service bay, I suddenly become aware of how truly huge my boobs are, the machismo and swagger immediately fly out the window, and I'm left crying, in a puling, high-pitched voice is, “Something’s wrong with my car. Fix it!” And I and my boobs tear away to the safe cocoon of the shuttle, abandoning my car to its fate, praying that our paths will cross again sometime in the future.
I need some distracting. I know, let’s talk about knitting. Here are pictures of the two Dulaan boxes I mailed out this weekend, the onesy-twosy box containing 44 (!!!) items, and the box containing the fleece blankets made by TMK and Yours Truly.
And a picture of the finished vest, now sporting bright yellow buttons, which will go in Onesy-Twosy Box #2.
P.S. In doing some spam cleanup, I once again managed to delete some legit comments, including Every Single Comment From Friday. My apologies, Dear Readers, especially K. Anne who obviously put a lot of thought into what she wrote. Oh, this is not a good morning. I need some chocolate.
Posted by Ryan at April 25, 2005 09:56 AMRyan -
Did you ever watch the Donny and Marie Osmond show? I have a vague childhood memory of this one skit that they did, which involved Marie in a fluttery white dress as a damsel in distress, crying (in a cheesy Southern accent I will attempt to reproduce phonetically) "Hay-ulp, hay-ulp!" Everytime I have to go to the mechanic, I swear that's pretty much what I resort to. I even turned sort of pathetic last time I took my bike to the bike shop.
Anyway. Yay, Dulaan project!
Melinda
Posted by: Melinda on April 25, 2005 12:16 PMThat box looks nice and warm. And I love that vest. It's adorable.
Posted by: Norma on April 25, 2005 12:27 PMOh, yes. I have the man take the car in. He can grunt and spit along with them happy as can be. I go and I get a sudden fit of thuh vay-pahs and cannot be consoled.
I had a car named Camilla for 10 years - named after Gonzo's chicken....
Posted by: Amie on April 25, 2005 12:46 PMAh, ManLand. I know exactly what you mean...even the smartest woman feels like an airhead there. Here's my funny tale from ManLand: when I was younger I was the errand-runner and parts-buyer for my dad when he fixed things, and one time I had to go find... a great big long screw. Oh, joy. What to ask for?? I finally (after just looking around in the hardware store to no avail) held the example up and said "I need 3 more of these." Even then the guy snickered.
Posted by: Judy on April 25, 2005 01:05 PMmy huge boobs and i commiserate!
Posted by: toni on April 25, 2005 02:56 PMYou know, you take your chances when you post something as odd as my trips to Manland to the blog, so thank you to everyone for taking today's posting in the spirit in which it was intended. :-)
Amie, my car is named after...well, no one. I just like the name. Of course, everyone thinks she is named after You Know Who, but nope.
Norma, MaryB the Inspirer knit a couple of the vests in different yarns and colors and they turned out *great.* It's a fun, simple, simple pattern. I'm even tempted to do another.
Posted by: Ryan on April 25, 2005 03:42 PMMy formerly huge boobs and I also understand.
Fortunately, I have enough of a "power femme" strut to make it in and out of ManLand in one piece. Although, I do get some funny looks when I walk into Ace and say "I need some graphite spray for locks, valve caps, and a new key. Point and stand back."
It's all in good fun.
*Now, if only I could find the alternator belt and figure out that rattle when I turn on my heater ...*
Posted by: Sara* on April 25, 2005 05:06 PMMy boobs and I sympathize! Frankly, I've been driving 1/2 hour to a car place for years now because when I broke down out that way the guy in the shop actually (1) looked me in the eye and (2) spoke in plain English without making me feel like a dunce. Definitely worth the drive even though I've got two car shops and a Jiffy Lube within three blocks of my house!
Posted by: Kristen on April 25, 2005 10:29 PMWhen it came to finding contractors to do various and sundry things to the house I ended up having to get an interpreter for Manland. Specifically, my coworker's husband who used to be a construction foreman and therefore Knows Who To Call. More importantly, they call him back, which they never did for me.
So, I tell Will what I need, he calls whoever and tells *them* what I need, and just shepherds the whole thing through. But I *definitely* sympathise. It's frickin' annoying.
(Hope your day improved!)
Ryan,
Stick with the huge boobs! I had a breast reduction and now my abdomen has nothing to hide under anymore.
I try to have my husband come with whenever there is a major repair to the car. If I knew more of the terminology, I'd be able to handle it a bit better.
Plus, I still look kinda young and have boobs, so I always am treated differently. I hate that.
Posted by: Jean on April 26, 2005 03:09 PMSo glad I am not alone in my ManLand trauma.
The good news and the bad news is: I have Camilla back. The bad news: I had to give them my first born child to get her back. Fortunately, I do not have a first born child.
Posted by: Ryan on April 26, 2005 03:42 PM