May 04, 2005

Happy International Respect for Chickens Day!

Before I launch into today's posting, I thought you would all like to know that today is International Respect for Chickens Day. I kid you not.


Okay, it’s safe to stash the Kleenex, Dear Readers. I pinky swear I won’t inflict any more pictures from F.I.R.E. on you—but only because I don’t have any more. If Meredith sends me more, all bets are off, because nothing makes my day more than turning my Dear Readers into sobbing, emotional wrecks. Woo-hoo! (By the way, to give credit where credit is due, I should mention that the pictures were all taken by Ms. Meredith herself. Very impressive, no?)

Now that I’ve gotten you all lathered up, can I just rest lazily on my P.R. laurels, eat bon bons, roll around in the piles and piles of money I made from my scam, and let the rest of you churn away on the Dulaan knitting? I can't?!!! Oh, good, because I've been a busy little bee. Here’s a picture of the finished multi-colored hat looking strangely severe and tube-like on a coffee bean canister shanghaied from The Mysterious K’s pantry.

parfaithat.jpg

Although I like the pattern, especially since it is a marvy stash buster, two peeves: First, when the hat is not stretched to within an inch of its life on a phallically shaped canister, the garter stitch edge flips up and obscures the entire first band of the pattern. Pooh. The hat hasn’t been blocked yet, so there's a modicum of hope. Secondly, PBA! PBA! PBA! (Translation: Pattern Boo-boo Alert!) On the chart for the decreases at the top of hat, you need to add a blank square to the left of every other row in the chart, starting with the second row and stopping where you decrease every row. (Side note, if you want to get Feralite June tittering like a 12-year-old boy, just say “errata,", and off she goes. It’s “errata,” June, not “erotica.” Major difference.)

Here is a picture of the top of the hat, which I just love, especially the surprising red border around the outside. (To June the Silly and Giggly Yet Wise: Once we added the squares to the chart, I just used the pattern as-is, and it worked out fine. Thanks for your help!)

coloredhattop.jpg

And, here, my pride and joy, the Norwegian Star Cap, again, from Hats On. As has been my wont recently, it is knit in Cascade 220, in white and a wonderful light but saturated purple.

purplehat.jpg

Here, the top of the hat. Curiously, this also requires a PBA. When you are decreasing for the top for the small size of the hat, on the chart, you have to start two rows up from where it says to start. Can't speak for the medium and large sizes.

purplehattop.jpg

And, here, what the hat would look like on a Mongolian child, if he were 11” tall, round and pudgy, covered from head-to-toe in sandy-colored fur, had no neck, had permanently upraised arms, two round ears sewed to the top of his head, and a nose that was three-quarters rubbed off (which TMK insists is caused by the fact that, every time I see the bear, I'm compelled to poke its nose back into its head until it goes humorously and satisfyingly concave. Oh, and to be perfectly clear, because it needs to be said, the bear is hers, not mine. Butch, my ass.)

By the way, note the picot edge, my first ever. And also a first, knitting the live stitches of the hem together with the live stitches from the body of the hat.

hatbear.jpg

And, finally, for no reason other than that we had so much fun with the Brie poll, another one:

Posted by Ryan at May 4, 2005 09:43 AM
Comments

ha, i see your coffee cannister, and i'll raise you my pickle jars- yes, i went to restaurants and begged for their empty gallon-sized jars (i have no pride)- i even went as far as painting faces on the things (do i need a real life? why, yes, i do!) they make excellent models for the dulaan hats while blocking though-

your hats are lovely- you're really quite a 'feral' yourself aren't you?

stay happy-

Posted by: barb in texas on May 4, 2005 10:40 AM

Love love love the hats. Such happy hats, too! First time I ever wanted to be a coffee can or pickle jar, cuz I bet Barb's got happy hats too.

Norma, I know your out there and I know you want to twist it, but let's leave the "me wanting to be a pickle jar" alone, ok? :oP

Hope everyone has a great day!!

Posted by: Stalker Angie on May 4, 2005 10:50 AM

I will have you know that not two days after reading your brie poll I headed down to Whole Foods in Bellevue and ordered a Pesto Chicken *Brie* sandwich. After your poll I had the full belief that people would KNOW to take off the rind. Nope. My sandwich came to me full of melty rind. Ew.

I started a hat for Dulaan only to realize it's pretty darn hard to make a decent hat without a pattern, and never having made one before (I'm nore of a sweater kind of girl). I hate using patterns. Despise them. I like to just sit down and come up with my own patterns. So off I'm going on an internet hunt for a great hat pattern. *sigh* Wish me luck!

Posted by: Sam on May 4, 2005 10:53 AM

Sam, wishin' ya' mega-luck in your search. I know pretty much every pattern or pattern source on the 'Net, so if you want help, let me know. BTW, I haven't forgotten our plans to get together. Will contact you soon, when things are a little quieter and when the weather cooperates a little more. (And may I say, that sandwich sounds awful. Did you eat it?)

StalkerAngie, while you're busy trying to morph yourself into a pickle jar, write and post another entry to your blog, girl! I keep checkin' and checkin' and checkin' but nuthin'.

Barb, seriously, the Ferals have been a crucial part of my being able to knit these fun hats. I know it's not Fair Isle knitting in the true sense, I have been having a blast knitting them! (Although TMK never gets tired of teasing me about how I used to whine that I could never in a million years be able to knit something like that, and now I'm churnin' 'em out like there's no tomorrow.)

Posted by: Ryan on May 4, 2005 11:06 AM

I bow down before your hat-knitting prowess, blog mistress! Those hats are FABULOUS!

Sam, it is not the rind-intact Brie that's the problem on that sandwich, it's the chicken--eeeewww! ;)

Posted by: Kristen on May 4, 2005 11:16 AM

I find sandwich cutting in my household to be dominated by the child for whom the sandwich is being cut. Somehow, in my straight-across world, I managed to give birth to one diagonal cut and one staight cut. This sounds more mildly amusing than it really is in real life.

Posted by: Sharlene on May 4, 2005 11:28 AM

Oh, suck it up about the damn brie rind, will ya? I bet you cut the crusts off your (white) bread, too? If you were a born-and-raised Vermonter, you wouldn't be wastin' the rind, I'll tell ya that.

And your hats make mine look kinda plain-Jane, but I won't let it get to me. ;-)

Posted by: Norma on May 4, 2005 11:53 AM

If anyone is looking for a better hat-form than a cannister or coffee can, Pier One has these really cool looking glass heads (they are real life size heads!) for $15. I bought two some time ago and they work great for hat blockers. Unfortunately they are adult sized, so I can't use them for children's Dulaan Hats....You can see one here: http://knit.atypically.net/hats/hermione/ or if any of the Seattle knitters has been to the "So Much Yarn" shop downtown, Lauren has some for display in the shop.
Mary B

Posted by: Mary B on May 4, 2005 12:22 PM

You mean there are options on cutting a sandwich? You mean that people cut on something other than a diagonal?

If you really want to start a war, ask about how the toilet paper should hang off the roll.

Posted by: Samina on May 4, 2005 01:26 PM

Now Samina, all women know how the toilet paper should hang. It's men that don't know how to hang toilet paper. Every woman knows to hang it so that it hangs over to the front and not under from the back. Of course, you could just have my DH who thinks the back of the tank is where it goes. Oy vei.

Posted by: Stalker Angie on May 4, 2005 02:29 PM

So... on the sandwich thing. I (in my sheltered innocence*) thought that the only way to cut a sandwich was diagonally. Then I married this dear, loving person to whom cutting a sandwich diagonally was ... well.. unheard of. You should have seen his expression when being presented with a grilled-cheese sandwich cut into triangles.

I ask my daughter - it depends on her mood. All my sandwiches are cut into triangles.

*anyone who knows me would break into giggles at the idea of my sheltered innocence

Posted by: melissa on May 4, 2005 02:30 PM

I generally eat my sandwhiches the two handed method, but . . . I love to have TEA. And then my sandwhiches are circles, triangles, and rectangles (all with no crusts). I love to have TEA. When one has TEA all things are done slowly to enjoy each step of the preperation, consuming and cleanup. Each step a blessing to those served. I only do TEA about six times a year. With a DH and a DS and three DD who all eat via the two handed method it takes a whole lot of time to cut all those cute little sandwhiches!

Posted by: laura on May 4, 2005 08:04 PM

Never posted before, but I just can't sit in silence for this sandwich thing.

It doesn't matter what's in the sandwich, but the shape of the bread! If it is one of those more-or-less square kinds, then you can cut it into happy triangles. If it is oblong, rectangular, or very rounded, then you must cut it in half, because the triangles would be funny.

Whew. Good to get that off my chest.

Ryan, your hats are very inspiring.

Posted by: lyssa on May 4, 2005 09:41 PM

How come Frankie didn't model the hats? Also, I was SHOCKED that the straight-down-the-middle cutting option was the least popular. What's up with that? Are you telling me my sainted mother was wrong? And now I'm wrong too??? This is not the way I wanted to start my morning.

Posted by: Diana on May 5, 2005 04:20 AM

Your hats are nice, I'm looking for a collection of simple already planned out for me hats like these, I see you mention Hats On, but a quick search on Barnes & Noble yields nothing, is there more to the title?

Thanks,

Posted by: Angie on May 5, 2005 05:11 AM

Beautiful hats!! Congratulations on such a beutiful, invisible hem on the N. Star Hat. I am jealous. I had to use the same technique for the Danish Earflap Hat from the same book, and it looks like I crammed the stitches together with chopsticks.
However, I was recently the lucky, undeserving (is that a word?) recipient of an absolutely ancient wig stand, which is perfect for blocking the heck out of chopstick hats, Dulaan hats, and is also good for the occasional scare when you forget about it and it stares at you from it's home on the dresser.
Thanks for posting the photos of the kids. It's a great reminder of the urgency of the situation!
+C

Posted by: candace on May 5, 2005 05:14 AM

Huzzah! (I love that word...) Huzzah for the hats! You are an amazing knitter, mz ryan.

Having said the requisite positive things, I feel compelled to point out that you have left off the correct sandwich cutting procedure: half-way between horizontally across and diagonally. It is important that the lower right corner retain some of its cornerness and not be forced into a sharp point. Geez, where did you grow up? Nevermind, I know you grew up foreign...

Posted by: Janine on May 5, 2005 07:10 AM

I thanked my chickens(happily free-ranging, and safely overnighting in what my sister refers to as the chicken condo, of course) for their lovely brown eggs, and rewarded them with the heels (another poll, eat the heels or not?) of a loaf of rye bread, which I cut neither straight across nor diagonally, but tore into irregular pieces. Now I am hoping the rye bread doesn't give the eggs an odd flavor.

Posted by: Annie on May 5, 2005 09:18 AM

My hats looks so blah compared to your beautiful, colorful ones! Oh, well - I always have next year! Knit on!

Posted by: Sheri on May 5, 2005 09:43 AM

Tee Hee, I could not answer your poll. I do something in the middle. That is, a more horizonal diagonal (or a more diagonal horizontal).

One day, I just stood in front of my sandwhich not sure if I was in a diagonal or horizontal mood (I used to wax and wan between the two) and in a frustrated burst, I decided having trapezoids was better than triangles or rectangles.

Next time I make a sandwich, I will take a picture of it for you.

Posted by: Anita on May 5, 2005 09:55 AM

Who knew people would have so many opinions about sandwiches? And who knew that there would be even four more options: Shapes a la Laura; diagonally off-kilter a la Janine; trapezoids a la Anita; and the free-range chicken method a la Annie! And I'm not even going near the toilet paper thing. I read once on Ann Landers or Dear Abby or some such that the greatest response they got to one of their columns had to do with how to hang the toilet paper...

Diana, trust me, we have tried to get Frankie to model hats, but no go. The bear has become our permanent substitute for the days when Frankie refuses to cooperate.

Angie, try finding the book on Amazon. I found it by just entering the words "hats" and "on" (although, for the record, I ended up buying it from my LYS). The only thing missing from the title as I presented it is the exclamation mark--"Hats On!"

Candace, now, I never said sewing the hem was easy! In fact, if you had been a fly on the wall, you would have seen sweat on my brow, my tongue between my teeth, furrowed brows, and at least fifty safety pins in the hat holding everything together in perfect alignment. It took some doing, let me tell ya'.

Posted by: Ryan on May 5, 2005 11:05 AM

Okay, I want to make that hat if for no other reason that the funky cool star top. Wherdja git thuh pattern????


And I work in radio. If ever one thought the phones didn't work properly, one would merely have to say "So I've been wondering which is better, Mayonaise or Miracle Whip?" and sit back while listeners come to blows.

Posted by: Amie on May 12, 2005 11:05 AM
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