May 23, 2005
Of Camels and Sun and Rain and Vests
Let's start today’s entry with a little article that made me bray out loud; bray, I tell you!
What’s intriguing about this story is what it doesn’t say. Who owns the wayward camel? Why did it sit on the lady? Who knew camels could sit in the first place? And the most intriguing question of all, how was she unaware of the fact that a 1,500 pound camel was commencing the sitting process? I find it hard to believe the camel simply zipped over in a Superman-like blur and badda-bing, badda-boom. Besides, if a camel merely came and stood by me, no sitting involved, I would know something was very, very wrong with my usually camel-free world long before the camel knees started bending and the camel derriere started looming.
The weather this weekend couldn’t have been any more unpredictable. Sunny and warm one minute; gray, cold, blustery and rainy the next. Although I don’t know why I should be all that surprised in a city where the mere act of changing lanes can find you in a completely different weather pattern. Seriously. One lane—wet; the other lane—dry; I’ve seen it with my own two eyes. The vagaries of the weather did at one point send The Mysterious K, ever the gardener, into a manic state of complete and utter denial. She bolted outside during one of the brief windows of sunshine to weed and, three minutes later, I found her hunched over a flower bed, muttering, “Rain? What rain?,” as her tank top got wetter and wetter and wetter. She has a sickness, what can I say. We're planning an intervention.
Fortunately, we were well-prepared for the bad weather, what with two rented DVDs (“Elektra”—feh, and a shrug of the shoulders. And “Flight of the Phoenix”—mo’ bettah.) and a new video game (The Omega Stone—so far, harder than it should be in an annoying way. I mean, how are white-bread, suburbanite, non-terrorist types supposed to know that a white rectangular block with a microchip in it is an explosive? Guess what happened when we pushed a red button while standing right next to the white rectangular block with the microchip in it? Yep, human confetti.)
And, of course, there was der knitting. This weekend I finished a vest that I designed on the fly, although it was based partly on this pattern. My weapons of choice: “Cabin Fever” Wool Pak I had picked up at the Guild Fiber Frenzy and size 6 needles.
Here it is in all of its stockinette and seed-stitch glory, sans buttons. The armholes curl a little bit so I think I’m going to beg one of der locals to help me crochet on a firmer edge.
And here, for your entertainment, a parade of pictures of Frankie wearing the vest.
Picture 1. I grabbed her from above, slipped one paw through one armhole, and the other through the other. She stood there for a minute, slightly perplexed, and then flopped down on the floor, apparently determined never to move again as long as that abomination was on her body.
Picture 2. The Mysterious K helped me coax a better pose out of our furry diva.
Picture 3: This is the moment when I realized she had most likely had enough.
Ryan ~ You are a hoot!! A camel? Sitting on someone? I'm with you...I'd be long gone before the knees even bent (do camels even *have* knees? hehehe)
I'm quite excited to meet you all and look forward to having a fabulous time at your little soiree. And I should warn you....while I am a serious knitter I still somehow find time to munch away :)
Posted by: Sam on May 23, 2005 11:38 AMSam, thank God! Someone who might actually knit AND eat, like me! I have quite a reputation at Ferals for being the one person who doesn't knit, and that's not all that far from the truth, since one time I knit literally one stitch. One. The rest of the time I spent eating and talking. And, for variety, talking and eating.
So glad you're coming to the shindig!
Posted by: Ryan on May 23, 2005 11:41 AMI wanna come to the shindig!!! *whew* Got that out of my system.
We were laughing at the camel story earlier today at work. Too funny. Oh, and speaking of funny, can you refrain from using phrases such as "human confetti" while I am eating chinese food? It HURTS to laugh rice out yer nose. Seriously. Painful.
And can I trade you weather? Cuz, really, 93 degrees is not working for me. I'm melting into a stalker puddle. It's not pretty. And people wonder why I don't wear makeup. Ugh.
Hope everyone has a great day!
Posted by: Stalker Angie on May 23, 2005 12:52 PMOh dear! She really is giving you the evil eye. I can't believe you designed that pattern all by yourself! Such a talented lady! You never fail to "wow" me :) I have gone way overboard with the !!!'s
Posted by: shell on May 23, 2005 02:34 PMShell, trust me, do not be impressed by the fact that I designed the vest on the fly. A lot of the finer details were based on the original pattern, and then I just made it longer and knit it in stockinette with a seed-stitch border instead of all in garter stitch. I didn't have a clue what I was doing but since the vest was small, every time I made a mistake or a design idea didn't work, it was no big deal to rip it out and do it again, and after a few fits and starts, I ended up with something that was acceptable. And, more importantly, that fit the dog!
(By the way, I saw over on your blog that you're having trouble with a real (not an Angie-like) harasser and stalker. Sounds like it's someone you know, which is even worse. I have my fingers crossed that this all gets resolved soon.)
Angie, the truth be told, the "human confetti" part was left to the imagination because the game really just said the equivalent of, "Oops. Want to try again?" but we were well aware that we had been blown to smithereens!
Sorry about the rice up your nose. ;-)
Posted by: Ryan on May 23, 2005 02:51 PMThis weather! It's beyond "unpredictable." It's now "insane-making." And all the changes in barometric pressure are making my sinuses scream for mercy. I had enough yesterday while driving to Bellevue in blazind sunshine with pouring rain. Ahhhh!
Posted by: Jessica on May 23, 2005 04:29 PMMore camel-sitting information can be found at:
http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=29&art_id=qw1116656642879B225
http://www.wtrf.com/story.cfm?func=viewstory&storyid=2942
The second link contains the text of the 911 call, including this gem: 911 Dispatcher: 911, what's your emergency?
Caller: Uh, yes. I'm at the Mayle Farm in Shinnston and I'm under a camel.
I finally understand why Pennsylvanians tell West Virginia jokes...
Posted by: Kristen on May 23, 2005 11:03 PMFrankie always looks so cute and irritated when being photographed in knits. She's probably thinking, "You put me through all this, and it isn't even FOR ME!!"
Posted by: CarolineF on May 24, 2005 05:18 AMLoverly vest! I wish i had the guts to just knit on the fly. You did a fantastic job.
Why do our doggies get so perturbed when used as models?? Do they think it's expoitation?
I'm ever so glad to find that the camel was on a farm instead of at large! BTW, as a Pennylvanian, WV is mostly a stunningly beautiful place.
Posted by: candace on May 24, 2005 09:29 AMAww, poor doggy! That being said, someone should tell her she looking stunning in that vest. Hmm, I've seen that look on my dog.
Posted by: Susie on May 24, 2005 10:04 AMFrankie deserves some congressionnal medal just for the abuse he puts up with! But, the vest does look rather chic on him.
Oh, I'm in your camp on the camel thing. I don't think I'd let a strange camel get close enough to me to use me as a stool in the first place. You gotta wonder, what was she thinking while it was happening?
Posted by: Samina on May 24, 2005 12:11 PMFrankie is just adorable!!! Perhaps you could explain to her that puppies make much better models than bears because they have articulated joints.
Posted by: Mira on May 24, 2005 12:56 PMFrankie -- way to give mom "the look."
Ryan -- I've delurked to tell you that I sent off my dulaan contributions to F.I.R.E. I've been reading your blog for awhile and never commented, but your wit is engaging (and sometimes alarming) and your passion to aid others is inspiring. Here's to you, TMK, Cuzzin Tom, Frankie and the MongoLEEians.