June 01, 2005
No Good Deed...
(This will be the only posting this week, Dear Readers, since I will be bizzy Friday getting ready for the Garden Party!)
The Mysterious K and I are recovering from one of our stranger weekends, one that can only be described as National Geographic on crack. And it all revolves around something as simple and innocent as a bird bath.
My most faithful and longest-time readers will remember this blue glass birdbath which we purchased and installed two years ago when both the natural dye garden and the blog were in their infancy:
Long story short, the blue glass bowl soon went to the Great Glass Factory in the Sky and, over time, I realized that I missed watching the sweet and simple things the local birds did in the birdbath: bathe, drink, and dunk the occasional piece of stolen bread. So this weekend I set out to find a replacement for the glass bowl. Finding something pretty, artsy, and inexpensive that fit exactly into the curve of the existing birdbath stand proved impossible so I went dirt cheap instead, shelling out $5 for a plastic terra cotta planter.
We stacked some rocks in the birdbath for ambience and stability, filled it with water, put it in the birdbath stand like so:
..and looked forward to endless summer days of pleasant birdie entertainment, something reminiscent of this.
What we did not expect was this (not for Big Sister the squeamish!):
The kicker? This was Dead, Sodden Mole Number Two, now known as The Afternoon Mole. The first one, The Morning Mole, was twice as large, twice as fat, and equally as dead, sodden, gross, and startling.
When it comes to Certain Things, such as removing small animal corpses, I am way more butch than TMK so, once we discovered The Morning Mole, I girded my loins for the unpleasant task of disposing of the mini-corpse. TMK wisely suggested, however, that we wait half an hour to see if Mr. Mole disappeared as mysteriously as he had appeared. And sher ‘nuff. Half-an-hour later, when I went to check the birdbath, it was empty. The Morning Mole had disappeared, leaving us baffled and seriously questioning our sanity, especially since we were positive we had kept a careful enough eye on the birdbath that no magical mole levitation could have occurred without our knowledge. We shrugged our shoulders, pinky-swore never to speak of our hallucination to anyone, and I proceeded to rinse out the birdbath, rinse the rocks, put the rocks back in, and fill the bath up with fresh water. Cross my heart and hope ta’ die, there was, at that point, no mole in the bath.
Which is why we were flabbergasted when we glanced in the birdbath later that day and found The Afternoon Mole. You can be day-um sure that this time we took a picture.
We also planted ourselves firmly in the garden and kept an unwavering, pardon the pun, eagle eye on the bird bath. And this time we saw it all: A large crow, one of a nesting pair (perhaps even Barclay’s parents back for another go at child-rearing), landed on the edge of the birdbath, poked the mole a few times to see if it was “done” (no lie), grabbed it in his beak and hauled it off to his nest and his lucky and soon-to-be-bursting-at-the-seams nestlings. Mystery solved, although this whole experience has left us both feeling a little twitchy and giving the birdbath a somewhat wider berth than usual. Oh, and making bad jokes about "mole sauce," (pronounced, of course, for the purposes of this game, mohl and not mol-ay), and our new favorite condiment, guaca“mole.” I dare you; in light of your new knowledge of the-mole-as-food, go back to this page and scan the listed products without laughing. After all, they offer mole in a can, powdered mole, even tiny dishes to serve your mole in.
Despite all of the hoopla, I did manage to get quite a bit of knitting in. Here is the latest Dulaan vest, now with buttons attached. I gave up on trying to crochet the armholes; it just looked stupid and clunky.
And now I will impose on you a closeup photo of the excruciatingly ordinary buttons. I was playing with the “close up” feature on my camera. What can I say?
And I also knit this MegaUltraBulkyChunky Hat out of some megaultrabulkychunky unspun Cascade Yarn, maybe Magnum? I’m embarrassed to admit that this was originally supposed to be a Ken’s Dulaan Hat, and then it was supposed to be the 48-stitch version of the Ken Hat, and then it metamorphosed into something that (a) had nothing to do with either pattern and (b) was adult-sized when it was meant to be kid-sized. Wait; aren't I supposed to have more control over my knitting than that?
I had no-o-o idea that crows soaked their food! Maybe these were particularly dirty moles? Moles with poor hygene? Let's not go there.
On Sunday night night my family was eating in the parking lot (that doesn' sound right!) and a really (really!) big racoon (my son took pictures of it peeking over the hood of the car!) decided to come over for a snack. Well my sister-in-law, who has racoon experience, kept (trying) to chase it off. It didn't get any food from us, but it looked like it would have overwhelmed a smaller group of people (there were 11 of us after all!).
Posted by: laura on June 1, 2005 10:39 AMYa know, I made it down memory lane in the bird bath just fine until I went to "that page" and saw Super Mole. I lost it. Tears rolling down my face wondering where Super Mole was when, not just one but two of the Mole citizens, was drowning in the bird bath. Will he get revenge on the crows? Or perhaps Barclay is the crow you saw, all grown up with chicks of his own and is Super Mole's Arch Nemesis. Perhaps he is scooping up unsuspecting Mole citizens and drowning them himself to feed his minions. Ah geez, this will have me giggling all day now.
Love the vest. I think the buttons are fine since the yarn patterned out so nicely. Oh, and I like the hat too. I don't think you can control super-duper-extra-uber-chunky yarn when it has a severe identity crisis and has mutliple hat personalities. Just sayin is all.
Hope you have a great day and you'll be missed on Friday.
Posted by: Stalker Angie on June 1, 2005 10:40 AMYep, Laura, there is now no question that crows soak their food because they went through the exact same process with both the Morning and the Afternoon Mole--they dropped it in the birdbath, left it there for an hour or so, checked it for done-ness, and fed it to their little 'uns.
Loved your story about the raccoon. I woulda been a little nervous since raccoons are beefier critters than most people think, full a' muscle, and standing quite tall when they want to. Reminded me of when I used to live in a third-floor apartment in a house that had a deck that ran from the ground floor all the way up to my apartment. One night I turned the light on in my kitchen, only to find three raccoons standing straight and tall, paws on the sliding glass windows, peering into my kitchen!
Ah, Angie, only you could come up with "Super Mole!" Although there isn't much hope for him, either, since apparently he has been captured, processed and put in a jar.
Posted by: Ryan on June 1, 2005 10:59 AMEUWWWWWWWWWWWW!
EUW EUW EUW EUW EUW EUWWWWWW!
What a hilarious/gross/enlightening tale. First mole ever photographed for a knitting blog.
I love the way you tell this little Mutual of Omaha Wild Kingdom tale.
Wow I learn something every time I visit your blog. Crows marinate moles. Who knew?
For a minute I was actually thinking those moles climbed up there, drowned, then the crow found them and thought, Hey a free lunch - Silly me, I was going to suggest a bowl of water on the ground for the moles who seemed desperately thirsty...
Posted by: CarolineF on June 1, 2005 11:54 AMRyan...did you know you are the solution to all that is wrong? My mom just discovered she has a mole chowing down on her garden. She tried hosing it down. Nope. Doesn't work. That's what it's hole is for. She tried sending the dogs out to get it. Uh-uh. Not interested. But a bird bath? Who knew. I'm sure she'll have one up before the sun sets tonight.
I'm looking forward to the party!! Will you ever forgive me for being slightly youngish? hehehe
And while at my moms she pulled out two bags of acrylic yarn she got from someone's mom's stash. The poor lady had a pattern in with the yarn for the most horrible crochet jacket. It was frightening. But I figured we could put the yarn to good use so as she was going to give it away I snatched it up and I'll bring it with me to the party. Everyone's welcome to it!
Well, Ann, you of all people should know that we in the knitblog community have to do what we can to do to keep things interesting, even if it does involve tiny animals with paddle-shaped paws. And TMK and I both agree with you: EUWWWWWWWWWWWW! EUW EUW EUW EUW EUW EUWWWWWW! It's not the mole itself I object to, just the fact that it was (a) dead and (b) wasn't supposed to be in my frickin' bird bath!!
CarolineF, you are not alone in your theory. In fact, TMK and I spent considerable time mulling over the "the mole climbed up the birdbath pole" theory ourselves. But a second look at those little digger-paws told us nuh-uh.
Sam, now that you've posted a picture of yourself on your blog, you have three things going against ya'. You're young, skinny, and pretty. I suggest you roll around in a mud puddle for a while before you arrive on Saturday so the rest of us don't feel so bad. :-)
I just have to say in a mole's defense that they do not eat plants. They eat earthworms and other creepy crawlies. They do, however, make a mess of the lawn at times. I have a love/hate relationship with my moles (sans 2). Having moles means you have healthy soil. Having moles also means that occasionally a plant or part of the grass will magically rise six inches. ;-)
TMK
Posted by: The Mysterious K on June 1, 2005 12:12 PMIck ick ick!!!!
You are way more tough than I am to even contemplate fishing that sucker out of there. Ick.
Molecide: Life in the Garden - I think it's in the new fall lineup.
Posted by: Bridget on June 1, 2005 01:27 PMJessica, suffice it to say the mole removal was going to include a looooong pair of plastic gloves and a pair of kitchen tongs that would be sacrificed for the war effort.
Posted by: Ryan on June 1, 2005 01:45 PMWell, isn't that INTERESTING?! Fascinating, really, if a bit disgusting. But hey, I check to see if *my* food is *done* all the time, so why should a crow be any different?! ;-)
Love that vest!
Posted by: Norma on June 1, 2005 02:26 PMWell, here's everything you'd want to know and quite a bit more about your crow.
http://nationalzoo.si.edu/Publications/ZooGoer/2001/3/reviledcrowclan.cfm
At first I just figured you had a cat leaving you presents. Mine has caught several moles in the past year, and is often leaving one for me on the front porch.
Posted by: Susie on June 1, 2005 06:18 PMI have decided not to think about the sunken strange mole, so I can only comment on the knitting.
I don't know why you would expect to have control over it. I certainly don't.
Please please please tell me that is at YOUR house and NOT TMK's because you might hear me scream a bit around the "mole" bath. UCKKK!
But for once the crows were so very useful! And look you kept the circle of life going so that is very nice :)
But, blah! Yuck! Dead things! Blah!
Posted by: Rebecca on June 2, 2005 09:23 AMIt took me a minute to figure out what was going on. I was thinking "Poor moles drowning. Maybe if they put water on the ground for them" lol.
I had NO idea crows soaked! I knew ravens did.
And p.s. - I love the crowlet's name!
Posted by: Thora on June 2, 2005 09:24 AMUm...er...well...sorry, Rebecca, but the whole mole fiasco was at TMK's house. But the birdbath is waaaay in the back of the yard, far away from where we will be. But if we find another mole while you're there, we'll be sure to come running straight to you to tel you aaaaallll about it! :-)
Posted by: Ryan on June 2, 2005 09:26 AMWell, at least now you can be somewhat certain that your moles were happy, well-adjusted moles who were merely in the wrong place at the wrong time. Because, you know, a yard full of suicidal moles...well, that would really put a cramp in your gardening style, and the cost of mole therapy for the survivors...aie, it's just too painful to contemplate.
Nice vest :-)
Posted by: Lee Ann on June 2, 2005 09:48 AMI just realized that I have no idea what to make for Dulaan. I have three completed blankets to bring with me Saturday (if they won't fit in the box, just let me know), but want to do some knitting as well. And I'm drawing a total blank! Time to hit the links in your sidebar, I think. :D
Posted by: perclexed on June 2, 2005 12:58 PMWell, my first thought was they were thirsty and how the heck did they climb up the post? Then my next thought was, I want the next one. Sorry. We take apart owl pellets at my house. And I used to clean bird skeletons at the Burke. Just have this fascination with what's inside things. Now I'm REALLY looking forward to coming on Saturday!
Posted by: Patti on June 2, 2005 03:42 PMSo, apparently, on Saturday we will have Rebecca shrieking and running AWAY from the birdbath and Patti shrieking and running TOWARD the birdbath...
Posted by: Ryan on June 2, 2005 04:09 PMThis should be an interesting afternoon... ;-)
Posted by: The Mysterious K on June 2, 2005 04:27 PMSince we all know that racoons "wash" their food I, for one, am grateful for you that it was a crow not a racoon. Although the mental image of a racoon balancing on the tippy edge of your birdbath attempting to wash his dinner is admittedly a little ridiculous. At this rate you'll be guaranteed a rumple-free lawn.
Love the colors in the vest...beautiful. And I think the plain buttons were the best choice.
Posted by: Mira on June 3, 2005 05:33 AMI am mailing my box today. It has 19 items! One short of my goal of 20, but I want to make sure it arrives before the deadline. I may get another one or two things made and send it air mail in a bubble mailer. If not I will keep them for next year!
Posted by: Sheri on June 3, 2005 07:26 AMOK. everyone in my office thinks I am the biggest nutball. Ryan's comment on Rebecca shreiking away and Patti shrieking towards got me.. and then TMK.. and well. I lost it in a fit of giggles.
enjoy your little part-tay ladies. Sue and I are planning on posting a box next week. I think we'll hover around 10-15 items (depending on whether or not I decide to do a few little things.) Wish we could be there, mole-less and knitting away. *hugs*
Posted by: anj on June 3, 2005 10:29 AMPretty funny about the mole. I definitely would have been confused!
Posted by: Sharlene on June 3, 2005 07:15 PMJust want to make sure that everyone that couldn't come is filled with envy: The Dulaan Garden Party was Absolutely Fabulous. Ryan and TMK are the best hostesses EVER!
Posted by: Kit on June 5, 2005 11:22 AM