July 13, 2005
The Debriefing
Niece has returned to the Land of Preadolescent Girls and People Who Understand Them, and peace and quiet have returned to the Land of Crotchety, Childless Spinsters. Other than Countermeasure #12, we are pleased that we had to activate only:
Countermeasure #6: Daily Trip to Community Swimming Pool to Tire Out Preadolescent Girl. Side note: This had the unexpected side-effect of also tiring out the Post-Adolescent Girl, so we had to activate Countermeasure #7.
Countermeasure #7: Coffee, coffee, coffee. (Not for Preadolescent Girl.)
Countermeasure #15: Trip to Discount Bookstore to Show Preadolescent Girl That Reading Isn’t As Lame-o As She Thinks. (I see from the TMK’s field notes in the margins of the Manifesto that this was a great success. I see liberal applications of “The Chronicles of Narnia” and “A Wrinkle in Time” in the Preadolescent Girl’s future. Any other suggestions, Dear Readers?)
Countermeasure #19: Sit Preadolescent Girl in Living Room, Turn Her Head Toward the TV, Insert Spiderman II DVD, Hit Play, Race to the Office to Squeeze in a Call to a Client. Repeat as Needed.
Countermeasure #39: Go Bicycle Riding...and Then Tell Preadolescent Girl Your Old Bike is Now Hers to Take Home. You can imagine with what giggles that was received!
Countermeasure #51: Feed Preadolescent Girl Ham and Cheese Sandwiches. Two Days in, Discover Preadolescent Girl Doesn’t Like Ham and Cheese Sandwiches. Activate Countermeasure #52(a) or #52(b)
Countermeasure #52(a): Feed Preadolescent Girl Hotdogs.
Countermeasure #52(b): Feed Preadolescent Girl a Heaping Plate of Spaghetti.
Countermeasure #66: Because the Dear Readers Say This is Safe and Normal, Let Preadolescent Girl Spin Self on Chair Until Nauseous.
Our only failure was in the area of Countermeasure #22: Reassure Preadolescent Girl When She Gets Homesick. The Homesick Preadolescent Girl woke TMK up during the wee hours of the morn. This did not go over well. This will be noted in the Manifesto.
On to the next Manifesto, "How to Help Your Partner Recover from a Visit by a Preadolescent Girl." So far, I have: Chapter 1: Chocolate. Chapter 2: The Sympathetic Ear Chapter 3: The Health Benefits of Adult Companionship.
This second manifesto is going to have to be effective to counteract the fact that I frogged the entire Jigsaw Puzzle sleeve Monday night, a fact which I know will make TMK break out in hives and run screaming from the room. But, me, I’m a happy camper. My Dear Feralites hauled out their pens, paper, calculators and collective wisdom and helped me figure out more accurate increases for the sleeve (increase every 6 rows with an occasional 8th-row increase thrown in for a lark, as it turns out). A million thanks, a hug, and a couple of cheek-pinches to you, Kit, June and Andrea. Now, Dear Readers, help me convince TMK that the sleeve was actually just a particularly large triangularly shaped swatch with lots of increases and curiously intricate patterning that was meant to be frogged from the very beginning.
Note to Sam: Turn right. 
all in all, the PG's visit sounds like a resounding success. I am sure TMK will recover quickly under your care...but the question remains...is she interested in doing it again? That's the real test, eh? :)
I feel TMK's pain at the "release" of the Jigsaw Puzzle sleeve/swatch. What a lot of work...but I am so impressed by your determination that it be juuuuuusssssstt riiiiight. :) You're my knitting idol Ms Ryan.
Posted by: Lisa in Oregon on July 13, 2005 10:31 AMI dunno, I think TMK needs a trip to a good brewpub/restaurant to help recover.
Posted by: Laurie on July 13, 2005 10:39 AMI'm impressed that it took PG two days to inform you that she doesn't like ham and cheese sandwiches. If it were Six Year Old, she would tell you right away that they are Yucky, and make the This Is Vile, Can't You See How Vile This Truly Is face.
Raspberry optional. Not recommended with a mouth full of ham and cheese, I might add.
A good night out ought to help poor TMK, though it actually sounds like you both weathered everything amazingly well. Narnia and Wrinkle In Time are very good choices for the reading campaign, as are Mary Stewart's novels, and Laura Ingalls Wilder's series. Oh, and Louisa May Alcott (Little Women, etc.). Nancy Drew, too.
Okay, I could go on...I'll stop now...I don't want to traumatize TMK. ;-)
Posted by: Lee Ann on July 13, 2005 12:21 PMGlad you did well. Those sound like excellent countermeasures :-) Take TMK out for relaxing, adult conversation!
Book suggestions:
(take Narnia and Wrinkle in Time as a given. As well as Lee Ann's excellent suggestions)
Series of Unfortunate Events (my 11 year old devours these)
Diane Duane's Young Wizard series (starting with "So You Want to be a Wizard"
the Oz books
D'Aulaires Book of Greek Myths
There are some good translated Japanese Manga books around - my girl is really into these, and are a good place to start with a reading campaign. Cardcaptor Sakura, for example.
And... my 11 year old knits and crochets... is that in the manifesto?
Posted by: melissa on July 13, 2005 12:37 PMI'll add "Anne of Green Gables", "The Wizard of Earthsea" and "Dragonsong" to your reading list.
Posted by: LaurieM on July 13, 2005 01:21 PMHow brave. Having three adolescent girls of my own I have to say that taking one on unprepared is a true sign of familial love and devotion.
On the reading front I would highly recommend Erin Hunter's Warrior series (it's about anthropomorphisized cats and my 11 year old LOVES them).
On the restoration front I think multiple applications of gourmet candlelight dinners and good wine might hit the spot.
For future reference...make friends with other young girls in your neighborhood thereby ensuring a continual stream of visitors and friends when the PAG returns (which she will because I'm sure she had a wonderful time!).
Posted by: Mira on July 13, 2005 02:21 PMRe: Countermeasure #66 - who's the nauseated one? PAG or hosts? I'm voting for hosts!
I still love my Anne of Green Gables books 20+ years later. I haven't seen the Harry Potters mentioned yet, though. My (step)daughters devoured them. So did I, but you're not asking about that.
Posted by: Samina on July 13, 2005 03:19 PMI'll add Susan Cooper's "The Dark is Rising" series - five books I think, plus "The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents", "The Wee Free Men" and "A Hatful of Sky", all by Terry Pratchett. Also nearly everything else by Madeleine L'Engle. Oh, and "The Man Who was Magic" by Paul Gallico if you can chase it down - it's probably out of print but it's seriously wonderful :)
Posted by: Robbyn on July 13, 2005 03:29 PMJust thinking about hosting a pre-adolescent girl gives me hives I like being childless by choice and much prefer older teens, at least then we can shop and do facials.
As far as frogging, I'll distract TMK with more Puppy Corgi pics since I've got the six 3-1/2 week olds a the house right now, that should do the trick I also love frogging, sometimes it's too totally cathartic
AnnaMarie
Posted by: AnnaMarie on July 13, 2005 06:04 PMTry the magic books by Edward Eager. These were written in the early 60's I think and I loved them as a kid. I still re-read them every now and then. Some of the titles are Half Magic, Knight's Castle, The Well Wishers. You will find them in paperback in any good bookstore.
Posted by: Kristin on July 13, 2005 06:14 PMThe pre-adolescent girl at our house *loved* the book _101 Ways to Bug Your Parents_ by Lee Wardlaw. Despite the advice-book-sounding title, it's actually a novel -- and she laughed out loud throughout.
Posted by: Karen on July 13, 2005 07:57 PMI'd like to pitch in Little Women by Louisa May Alcott and Arrows of the Queen by Mercedes Lackey (in fact, the whole trillogy). I also liked the "Little House" books by Laura Ingalls Wilder around that age. And around age 13 or so, I snuck a John Jakes novel from my mom's bookcase....but that's probably not appropriate reading.....
Posted by: Cathy on July 14, 2005 04:21 AMWow. She really liked you guys.
(It doesn't sound like she unleashed a single one of her superpowers. Trust me. I have an 11 year old girl. Their skills are many, their nerves young and fresh, and their stamina....deadly.)
Posted by: stephanie on July 15, 2005 05:59 AMI loved Susan Cooper's Dark is Rising series, but I'd forgotten about those books until Robbyn mentioned them. I'll add Lloyd Alexander's Chronicles of Prydain (spelled something like that). They were my absolute favorite when I was 12 and remain at the top of my list. Alexander also wrote a bunch of other great books, including "The Cat Who Wished To Be A Man".
Posted by: Susie on July 15, 2005 06:42 AMScott Dell's "Island of the Blue Dolphins"- who wouldn't want to read about a young girl who survives by herself on an island, and it's based on a true story!
Anything by Daniel Pinkwater or Edward Eager.
Posted by: annmarie on July 15, 2005 07:02 AM