August 05, 2005
Is There a Plumber in the House?
I am a Dork. A Super Dork. A dorkus maximus. In fact, a delegation is arriving soon to crown me Queen of Dorkopolis.
Met Stephanie yesterday.
And what did I do? I cried.
Not a big cry, not what Oprah would call “the ugly cry” where your face crumples up and you flush bright red and make a really unattractive grimace and the whole thing involves a lot of snot, but there was definitely a lump in the throat, some misting up of the eyes, some spontaneous leakage in the ocular area, the kind of crying that makes you flap your hands in front of your face—which I’ve never understood because all it does is waft a breeze right into your eyes which makes them water even more.
I have no idea why the leakage happened, especially since I am rarely, if ever, celebrity- or star-struck. Perhaps it was because Stephanie is the first out-of-state knit-blog e-friend I’ve met, and represented all the other knitting e-friends that have brightened my life so intensely and wonderfully over the last couple of years. Maybe it was a one-degree of separation thing because just the day before she had been with Rachael, an e-friend whom I also have not met, so I was very aware that Stephanie had "Rachael dust" on her. Maybe it was just the excitement of meeting “the real thing” after years of the one-dimensionality of photos. Maybe I was overwhelmed by meeting someone who had single-handedly done so much for Dulaan. Maybe I was impressed by meeting someone whose arrival was so important that the Blue Angels flew in to celebrate it. Maybe it was the thrill of meeting someone from Toronto. I don’t know. But, be warned, if you are a non-Washington knit-blog e-friend and we meet, be prepared for some ocular leakage. Apparently I have no control over this.
Leakage aside, the whole thing was lovely. Not just because I met The Stephanie, but also because many of my knitting homies were there, like Dear Readers Perclexed, Diana, Patti and her son Noah, and other people from Guild, Ferals, and the online groups I belong to. And we met Lorette, The Knitting Doctor, and her scar...although I’m surprised Lorette would even speak to us after both TMK and I pointed at her so directly and rudely from across the floor after Patti mentioned who she was. But, wot th' hell and good manners be damned. We met and that’s all that matters. Hi, Lorette! Hi, scar!
After the obligatory photo wherein I show off my big chin and how my bangs like to split annoyingly in the middle even though, not an hour before, I had plastered them in place with enough hairspray to float the Queen Mary...
...and as a direct result of Rachael’s antics, Stephanie pulled out the socksocksock, laid it casually and nonchalantly on the desk in front of TMK and moi, and said, essentially, “I don’t know how that sock got there. I don’t see it. I have no idea what’s going to happen to it in the next five minutes,” and turned away, giving us, of course, carte blanche to scamper off with it. Our creativity doesn't hold a candle to Rachael’s, but all we had to work with was a bookstore and a parking lot so, here, the socksocksock hijacks my car in an effort to head back to Toronto the long way:
And, here, you-know-who examines the workmanship of the socksocksock vewy, vewy closely:
And, here, after we wrenched it off the steering wheel and desucked it from TMK's face, the socksocksock proudly watches Mommy sign books:
It was all over way too soon but, afterwards, we consoled ourselves with a quiet loll with Frankie on the mattress in the Safari Room. What a truly nice day.
Hey, I didn't think you were rude! Didn't your mama ever tell you that pointing at other knitters is COOL? How else in hell will we ever find each other? And I deleted the TMK picture to protect her anonymity. It was so seriously wonderful to be in a room full of other knitters, all laughing and knitting...I admit that I was a bit teary, too.
Posted by: Lorette on August 5, 2005 11:10 AMUmm, what about the splat (*) after "knit-blog e-friends"? Is there more forthcoming?
and you are NOT a dork for crying at the drop of a hat (or sock). Cause if you are, then I am too, and I'm not. so there! :P
Jenny, the splat be gone now. And I'm glad to hear that other folks are susceptible to spontaneous leakage as well.
Posted by: Ryan on August 5, 2005 11:17 AMI made a dork of myself in several other ways. I didn't cry but I did drop a complete stranger's camera in the trash.
Posted by: Jessica on August 5, 2005 11:35 AMWell, I certainly sympathize. I'm notoriously sentimental and get misty at the drop of a hat. Thank goodness there is another weepy knitter out there for me.
And by the way, it is an adorable picture of you. At least YOU look in proportion to the world around you. Stephanie made me look like Hagrid's sister. Without all the black hair. I just have that much red hair. *sigh*
Posted by: Laurie on August 5, 2005 11:40 AMI met Stephanie a few months ago in ohio. I did worse than well up. I giggled. For quite a while, at that. I shudder to think how I might embarrass myself if I ever have the good fortune to meet you!
Posted by: marylee on August 5, 2005 11:55 AMMaryLee, let's just agree to giggle insanely, well up A LOT, and never speak of it again. Deal?
Laurie, "Hagrid?!" Very funny. And she IS tiny, isn't she?
Posted by: Ryan on August 5, 2005 11:58 AMI have 5 minutes on my sister-in-law's computer. I'm writing from Pennsylvania where I am trapped on vacation with my family. I am soo very sorry to have missed Stephanie, and also now, to know I missed the Gushing Ryan--or is it Geiser Ryan? Who knew you were so sentimental? I hadn't a clue. You are so totally sweet, I can't believe it. I can recognize TMK from that photo, and I know that she is inching ever so much closer to true frontal facial exposure. Mary B
Posted by: Mary B on August 5, 2005 12:00 PMI have to wonder how many time TNK might have been lurking in the background of one of your photographs, Ryan. SInce we don't know what she looks like, how would we know?
Stephanie is a blast. I met her in May and she was indeed, wonderful. And I confess to swallowing a lump in my throat too. It's emotional impact Ryan and that's a good thing. To many of us just switch it off these days!
Posted by: Robbyn on August 5, 2005 12:37 PMRobbyn, we have been really careful about keeping TMK out of our photos but, just to intrigue you, over the years, some other local knitter-bloggers have not. But we really don't mind. We have no expectation that other bloggers will play The Game as obsessively as we do.
As I may have mentioned before, a long time ago, TMK said it was okay for me to use her real name and post her image on the blog, but by that time the persona of The Mysterious K had been born, and there was no looking back!
Posted by: Ryan on August 5, 2005 01:23 PMI cry when I'm happy, when I'm mad...and all stations in between.
I also would have assumed you *wanted* your hair to split just like that had you not said anything, either.
Lastly, I am thinking I should go back and copy each pic of TMK and start layering them on top of each other...sooner or later...might get a whole face out of it....and I could fill in the blanks with facial parts of famous people to amuse myself....which obviously doesn't take much. I think I've been watching too much crime tv.
Posted by: Lisa in Oregon on August 5, 2005 01:51 PMpinky swear!!
Posted by: marylee on August 5, 2005 01:55 PMOh, leakage is nothing. I'd be flattered, actually. At least you met Stephanie! I have to confess that I drove to MD Sheep and Wool with great excitement at meeting her. On the appointed day I realized that my bookbookbook was still in Pittsburgh. I felt like such a dork that I never got in line to meet her (everyone else, it seemed, had their bookbookbook). I just sat on the grass and watched from a short distance. Talk about dork!
Posted by: Kristen on August 5, 2005 02:58 PMI cried too... I was so out of control when I was told she was down the hall in Ohio at TNNA in June that I could not bring myself to go down there. I thought I could pull myself together by Aug 4th. I was fine until I was reminded she had a hand in a square in my afghan and then I shed a few sweet tears. It was sure great to see you and TMK and you in your lovely oranginess. LOVE that sweater you are working on!
Posted by: Sandy Blue on August 5, 2005 03:05 PMWusses, all-a ya. (hee)
At least The Sock did not attack TMK like it did (who was it?) in Rachael's meeting, and go straight for the jugular.
But thanks for the warning. If I come out, I'll bring a hanky. (or wear a bib?)
Posted by: Norma on August 5, 2005 03:15 PMNorma, I believe the lady that was attacked by The Sock is named Candi. I also have been lead to believe that she is a crocheter, which may explain The Sock's behavior. I, on the other hand, am a lowly non-knitter and I believe The Sock simply pitied me.
TMK
Posted by: The Mysterious K on August 5, 2005 03:17 PMI was so glad to see both of you again! Especially since I didn't make it to the game. I am always so happy to see the two of you, and to have it be at the same place as Our Beloved Harlot, well. It was a *fantastic* day! :D
Posted by: perclexed on August 5, 2005 03:18 PMOh, Norma, shut up, you know I'm probably going to cry when I meet you. And Ryan, if I ever manage to meet you too, well...kleenex all around.
When I met Stephanie, I hid my misty eyes very very well...hugging is good for that :-)
Posted by: Lee Ann on August 5, 2005 05:13 PMAwwww. You are so cute! TMK, I see you are looking especially closely at the heel - does it look better than mine?
Noah said, that was a lot more fun than I thought it would be - high praise indeed from a child.
Posted by: Patti on August 5, 2005 06:23 PMHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I love you BOTH!
Posted by: Rachael on August 5, 2005 11:21 PMYou big baby.
There. It's so easy fulfilling my bratty younger cuzzin duty.
Posted by: Cuzzin Tom on August 6, 2005 04:26 AMIt was probably because I'm from Toronto. A lot of people find that really moving.
It was really, really a great day.
And I'm whimpering because I don't think she's even coming to N. Texas. sigh.
Ocular leakage is a normal thing. No shame.
Listen, if all you had was leakage, you are still miles ahead of me. When I met Dorothy Allison, the part where we had an intelligent conversation went well ... then I tried to let her know how much One or Two Things and Bastard meant to me. Tears, mucus, sobbing, utter disgrace. (Shrug) It happens.
Posted by: jpt on August 8, 2005 05:36 AMYou're kidding me, right? Just the sight of my very first stalkees ( I never can remember which came first, the Harlot or the Blog Mistress) in a picture together makes me wanna cry cuz it's just soooo cool and I can tell you now that if I get to meet either of you in person I would probably be one of those sobby, clingy women that make you uncomfortable. That or I will hang in the background and not say a damn word and worry that someone might call my name out. It's a toss up.
And I'm really not sure if I'm jealous of Steph for getting to meet you, or jealous of you for getting to meet Steph. Or maybe I'm just jealous of all of the other folks for getting to meet you both. Yeah, that's probably it.
Have a great day!!
Posted by: Stalker Angie on August 8, 2005 10:35 AMWhat a riot. Stephanie visits my favorite place of visiting and sees all my favorite knitters.
Oy, bangs. I used to have them. Once they were gone it took me over a year to realize I could walk with my head up in the rain. Mine didn't just split nicely like that, they turned into something resembling the fringe on an abused chenille throw.
Posted by: CarolineF on August 8, 2005 12:35 PM