Mossy Cottage Knits: June Cleaver I am Not

October 14, 2005

June Cleaver I am Not

Oh, hi. Sorry…just having an extremely juvenile moment here. The DJ on the country music station I listened to on the way into work mistakenly called the song that’d just played, “Boot Scootin’ Boobie.” Boobie. Tee, hee, hee.

Short entry today, Dear Readers, because, instead of knitting, I’ve been doing the house-cleaning equivalent of a colonic, cleaning from the absolute inside out. I cleaned the space between my counter and the refrigerator which hasn’t seen the light of day in thirteen years. Euw. I cleaned “Mordor,” the space between my stove and my portable dishwasher where I dropped the grilled cheese sandwich. Double euw. I cleaned the inside of my microwave. I scrubbed my shower. I dusted. All of which went painfully slowly because I have to make sure not to kill any spiders. Seriously. I sweep up a pile of dust, I check it for spiders, especially baby ones. If there is one, I put it outside or I leave the pile until the spiders have hied themselves off to a new home. Which means that the simple act of sweeping my kitchen floor can take two, three hours. (Anyone groaning, or rolling their eyes at me? I know TMK is. I know Cuzzin Tom is not. He gets the spider thing.)

Colonic housecleanings are further complicated by the fact that I don’t have a handheld shower which means that I rinse the shower walls by heaving a containerful of hot water at them, which immediately splashes off the walls and lands on my face or in my hair or in my shoes. Joy.

I’ve also discovered the horrible truth that the Secret Colonic Housecleaning Society doesn't want you to know, that this type of cleaning makes your house look a million times worse than it did when you started because all of the things in, under, or on The Areas to Be Cleaned have to be moved somewhere else, resulting in great chaos and clutter. How does this housecleaning stuff work exactly? Perhaps someone who colonic housecleans more than once a year or doesn’t have a spot in their house that can be likened to Tolkien’s source of all evil can explain it to me.

But there's a light at the end of the tunnel, not because I'm anywhere near being done, but because I get to run away to TMK's house for the weekend and leave the worsening clutter far behind. Besides, Saturday we are celebrating our 19th anniversary, first, by going the Tiffany exhibit at the Seattle Art Museum and then going to the Bestest, Fanciest Italian Restaurant Ever Which, Curiously, Is Still Reasonably Priced, Il Fornaio. Yay!

On the Dulaan front, we have heard from Meredith!! (For you recent additions to the Dulaan family, Meredith is the Executive Director of F.I.R.E.) She reports that she is still in Mongolia and plans to return to Flagstaff on October 24th. She had some complications with customs and has had to spend more time in Mongolia than she expected but she also reports that she did get some photos of the handknitted items being distributed, so I am very excited.

Lastly, on a very serious note, although I’m sure this is winging its way through the blogvine the blindingly fast way things do, Stephanie has suffered the sudden and tragic loss of an unimaginably dear and close family friend. If you are so inclined, please go let her know you are thinking of her. You will find that she writes as eloquently about her grief as she does about her day to day life and her love of knitting.

(Since I will be in class all day Monday, learning just enough about cascading style sheets to be dangerous, rumor has it that Mossy Cottage may have a guest blogger that day. Come'on by!)

Posted by Ryan at October 14, 2005 11:01 AM

Comments

Hiya--just thought I'd drop a note letting you know that, in the spirit of zaniness and of the upcoming Knitters Review retreat, some of us KR koooks decided to make Dulaan one of the recipients of the proceeds of our silly little imaginary cult/charity project. See here: http://www.cafepress.com/yarniversalcult. Most of the items will bring in $3 a piece, and Dulaan is slated to get a third of that. I hope it helps buy yarn or fleece or pay shipping costs or whatever way it can help. Cheers.

Posted by: lanea on October 14, 2005 11:09 AM

Lanea, the support that Knitter's Review is giving to the Dulaan Project is leaving me speechless. Or, at least as speechless as I ever get. You guys are amazing! Thank you!

Posted by: Ryan on October 14, 2005 11:18 AM

I would love to be able to give you some great ideas about how to clean your house, but I to am a colonic yearly housecleaner. Usually, I just have my husband clean the house when it is really bad.

Happy Anniversary, I hope it is great.

Posted by: Mindy on October 14, 2005 11:22 AM

I don't clean. But if I did, I'm sure I'd be a colonic cleaner too.

And my "Mordor" is my closet :)

Posted by: Libby on October 14, 2005 11:33 AM

{clears throat}
Happy Anniversary to you!
Happy Anniversary to you!
Happy Anniversary to All-Y'all-
Happy Anniversary to you!
(boobie)

Posted by: Elaine on October 14, 2005 11:37 AM

I'm sorry, by colonic cleaner, I did not mean one of those things you get at those creepy day spas that the uber-rich go to.

Jeez, I need to take a nap. In my exhaustion, I'm a total moron.

Posted by: Libby on October 14, 2005 11:43 AM

I do a lean flylady routine. I clean something for 15 minutes a day then rightously ignore housecleaning. I get to everything eventually. Patience grasshopper. Spiders? eek I'd hope I would gently sweep them out the door but I'd probably be too freaked to remember to open the door. What's 'cascading style sheets'; something you are upgrading to in the bedroom?
Congratulations on 19 years. W0W Have a fabulous dinner.

Posted by: Aarlene on October 14, 2005 12:19 PM

If you were to give your house a "colonic cleaning", wouldn't you just fill it to the brim with some kind of soapy ammonia water, admonish the house to hold it for about 30 minutes, and then quickly open all the windows and doors and just let it whoosh out? I dunno. I've never had one. Just how I imagine it when I'm, um, forced to imagine such things. Thanks, Cuz, and Happy Anniversary. Means more to me now that I know yer wonderful mate. Oh, and good job with the spiders. Hate to think of you as a spider dodging a newspaper in one of your future lives.

Posted by: Cuzzin Tom on October 14, 2005 12:24 PM

Happy Anniversary!

Posted by: Cheryl on October 14, 2005 12:27 PM

Might I recommend you clean your bathroom like I clean my dog? I have a large, immature pitbull. He's not a fan of the bath, so when I wash him, I literally strip down (to a bathingsuit) and climb in the tub with him. It's much easier than any other option I've come up with. Of course it means he sometimes tries to climb in the bathtub with me when it's MY turn for a bath, but it's all out of love.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!

Posted by: Amie on October 14, 2005 12:37 PM

Happy Ann-a-ver-sar-ee!
Happy Ann-a-ver-sar-ee!

**Imagine me repeating that to the William Tell Overture.*

I totally get the spider thing. I still try to rescue worms when it rains.

Hope you have a great weekend, and can't wait to guess who the guest is!

Posted by: Sara* on October 14, 2005 01:50 PM

I do the spider thing too, much to Myria's occassional discomfort - and this building seems to be spider heaven :) There's always one or two running around on this ceiling, that wall or the other light fixture.

And I hope you and TMK have a wonderful, giggle filled and otherwise excellent anniversary!

Posted by: Robbyn on October 14, 2005 06:31 PM

Bon Anniversaire ! Youpi ! Have fun! I am quite sure Italian food and an anniversary is much more fun than stash enhancement. Quite sure.

Sort of sure. Okay, yep, I'm sure.

My desk is undergoing a colonic clean under orders of the official cables-behind-the-furniture-organiser. It's dire. I'll let you know if I find a sandwich.

We let moths go, too...

Posted by: Lee Ann on October 14, 2005 07:03 PM

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!! I hope you and TMK have fun at the museum.....it should be lots of fun. A guest blogger???? I can't wait?! :)

Posted by: Courtney on October 14, 2005 07:11 PM

Oh, and I forgot to tell you - I used to be on the air on various radio stations. I've never made a real horrible mistake that got me fired (though I know plenty of folks who've let the F-word slip on air) but you will be amused by my biggest gaff to date.

I was at a public event, with one microphone that went out over the air to the tens of thousands that listened, and another mic that went out to the 300+ that were standing in front of me. I had just mocked openly another DJ friend who had bumbled the words "Swedish Massage" (given by sponsoring company "Angel Heart") I took the mics away from him and said loudly and clearly (can you see what's coming?) "That's SWEDISH MASSAGE by Anal Heart Massage..."

Posted by: Amie on October 15, 2005 06:12 AM

I thought I was the only one fighting to clean the shower that way ;) You know, it gets fun and easy if you use a supersoaker (?) water gun for that job, hehe..

Posted by: Maus on October 15, 2005 07:33 AM

1. Spiders are not welcome in my home & their presence is usually greeted with panic, a broom &/or a call to the spousal unit (depending on their size). Note - my cats are of no help. They just want to watch the damn things crawl around.

2. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! Here's to many more.

Posted by: Samina on October 15, 2005 09:33 AM

Yay! Happy Anniversary! You two are one of my (very very few) perfect couple examples.

My house needs that kinds of cleaning. I just (kinda) keep up with cooking, dishes, laundry. I was thinking of inviting Frankie back and wrapping her in reverse masking tape, like you wrap around your hand to get lint off your clothing? Then we could have her do her tricks, over and over on my carpet. If we cut it off her carefully, she would have a little cat jacket. And my carpets would be clean! A good time had by all, right?

I'm excited to see Dulaan pictures!

Posted by: Patti on October 15, 2005 09:40 AM

Thanks for the heads up about Stephanie's near-sister. I am not much of a housekeeper so spiders live safely in my house.... spousal unit occasionally excavates the exquivalents of lost grilled cheese sandwiches. People whom I trust say that Flylady.com works. but you actually seem to have enjoyed creating greater (though cleaner) chaos in your house. Way to go.
Happy Anniversary.

Posted by: Dana on October 16, 2005 01:50 AM

I think cleaning is catching. I don't do a yearly cleaning, though sometimes it feels like it. Mostly each room gets a major cleaning at best once a quarter and worst once a year. Mostly this means that rooms get cleaned about twice a year and often within a month of each other.

I cleaned my bedroom for the first time since we moved in (last August). I needed the space to block a ginormous scarf. If every area of the condo was available for blocking, then the entire place would be clean!

Posted by: Seanna Lea on October 16, 2005 04:47 PM

Happiest anniversary--hope you had a wonderful weekend.

And when you return from class all into style sheets and stuff, check out this CSS editor. It makes CSS EZ--whether you use a Mac or Windows.

http://westciv.com/style_master/index.html

Posted by: Becca on October 17, 2005 07:53 AM

Posted by: fsXmGLjbKN on October 22, 2005 03:20 PM