November 16, 2005
Driving Me Nuts
On Monday I drove to work with an absolute madman in a Jeep behind me. He was obsessed, crazed, almost demonic, a truly monstrous human being. Because of an accident on the 520 bridge, we were all at a standstill, with news helicopters droning overhead, and police cars and ambulances worming their way through the tightly packed traffic. And yet Dude spent the 45 minutes we were stuck in each other’s company screaming obscenities and bellowing dementedly that I needed to “Move, move, MOVE!” I was terrified because I couldn't get away from him and I didn't know how far he would escalate things. I managed to escape him when I reached the bridge but our paths crossed again on the other side, and he screamed some more.
Usually I can work my way through the trauma of a road rage encounter relatively quickly but this time I just couldn’t shake the adrenaline. I cycled through all of my pat rationalizations: He was drugged, sick, crazy, emotionally tortured, I should feel sorry for him or, my ace in the hole: It had nothing to do with me; he would’ve treated whoever was in front of him the same way, it was just my lucky day. But I couldn’t calm myself, and continued feeling restless and agitated and unsettled…until last night.
Last night I went to the presentation given by Linda Roghaar, one of the anthologists for the Knit Lit series, who was on the road promoting Knit Lit the Third. There weren’t very many people there but the few that were were all knitters...and within five minutes my agitation and the remnants of the adrenaline had disappeared. How could it be that one stranger could terrify me so, and yet another entire group of strangers, equally unknown to me, could be the key to my regaining my equanimity and composure? All I know is that when I left, I felt calm behind the wheel of my car for the first time in 24 hours, and I enjoyed my little tootle home.
My emotional ups and down aside, the presentation was short but magical. Because Knit Lit the Third is an anthology, Linda introduces herself, the book, and the idea and the history behind the book, and then the contributors who happen to live in whatever city Linda is in read their own entries—which means every presentation is guaranteed to be wonderfully unique. I'm an indescribably huge fan of “short stories with a twist,” specifically O. Henry stories, which I read obsessively as a child, and the entries in the Knit Lit books are much like that. We had three local readers, and they all read their “short stories with a twist” with confidence, style and just enough wryness. I could have listened to a hundred more readers read a hundred more stories. Linda, if you’re out there, thanks for a great evening!! And, Dude, if you're out there, as my mother used to say, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits." Only, in this case, that would be an insult to the fleas.
On the knitting front, a lot of people were interested in the pattern I used to knit my sister's Typing Toasties (which should be on their way to you by this weekend, Big Sis!). The pattern was from a magazine so I couldn't photocopy and share it, but the various requests did goose me into seeing what was available online and, boy howdy!, there're a lot of patterns out there! I did a search based on "fingerless mitts" knit (including the quotation marks) and discovered this cornucopia just on the first-page-and-a bit!
http://wendyknits.net/knit/mitts.htm
http://freeknittingpatterns.lionbrand.com/patterns/kff-valentineStripedMitts.html (almost qualifies to be on the "You Knit What?" site, if it isn't already)
http://www.theknittinggarden.com/gallery-dec/dec-art-6.htm
http://www.wolfandturtle.net/Yarnpath/Patterns/Fingerless%20Mitts%20-%20Knit%20and%20Crochet.pdf (Pdf file. From our very own Dear Reader Robbyn! Crochet version included.)
href="http://mary4169.tripod.com/id41.html">http://mary4169.tripod.com/id41.html
http://www.scknitting.com/spring2005/mitts-to-fit.html (custom fit fingerless mitt design worksheet)
http://www.knittingpatterncentral.com/directory/mittens_gloves.php (scroll down to all the fingerless mitts patterns)
http://www.virtuallydesigned.com/gottamake/patterns/websurfingmitts.htm
another mitt making the rounds on the ole blogs
http://savannahchik.typepad.com/gallery/2005/01/natalya_gauntle.html
and honey.. they are fabulous.
my thoughts about asshat man? I would have called his license number in and had him pulled over. I've done it before. And I don't care how angry it makes them.
mwah!
Posted by: anj on November 16, 2005 01:32 PMThe thought did cross my mind, dear Anj, but there were only two problems: (1) He was so far up on my bumper I couldn't see his license plate and (2) I don't have a cell phone.
But, other than that, I appreciate your support of me!!
Posted by: Ryan on November 16, 2005 01:41 PMWhoa! Look at you, you linking fool! Hehe
Grrr.....that man is an asshat and he needs a few minutes alone in a room with TMK and myself. He'll be dead or have better manners once we got done. Either an improvement.
Have a great day!
well I'm with stalker angie then.. lemme at him. All I need is 5 minutes alone. He'll be VEWWY SOWWY when I'm done.
Posted by: anj on November 16, 2005 01:48 PMForget the camel fleas - may the indignation of one-thousand knit bloggers cause his computer to crash under the weight of millions of spam offers to improve his lacking member.
Oh - and the 5 minutes with Anj, Stalker Angie, and the venerable TMK.
Posted by: Elaine on November 16, 2005 03:11 PMI usually try to be understanding, too, but this guy would have really put my dainties in a twist. I think a good old fashioned pox is in order.
Posted by: marylee on November 16, 2005 03:27 PMJust think - if you were in a romantic comedy, or maybe an episode of Three's Company, you would have been on your way to an interview, and the guy in the Jeep would have been interviewing you. Or maybe it was a blind date. But you get the picture.
Posted by: Lala on November 16, 2005 05:08 PMOh boy - some people, eh? It's a serious bummer too because you KNOW this guy will never have an ulcer. He's just a carrier. Someone should knit a leash for that temper of his.
Glad you're okay :)
Posted by: Robbyn on November 16, 2005 07:23 PMI hate mean drivers. Glad to hear that you are feeling better!! :)
Posted by: Courtney on November 16, 2005 10:16 PMSorry to hear about the driving thing. So many mad/mean people out driving! I especially feel vulnerable driving a little low car = Saturn. Thanks for the link to my free mitts pattern, but it doesn't work - is tripled or something on the screen
http://www.zenknit.com/mitts.html
Sometimes if someone is following too closely, I slow down more, but I would have been afraid to with that guy! Glad you're ok. Yeeks. Probably a Microsoft guy.
I have a friend who calls those mitts "Cratchits". :)
Posted by: Patti on November 17, 2005 10:00 AMI agree with Patti - probably a MSFT guy...not that I know anything about those kinds of drivers *ahem*
But I'm sorry that jerkface had to mess up your commute.
Posted by: Libby on November 17, 2005 10:08 AMOh, no, definitely not a Microsofty. His Jeep was old and ratty, his hair was long, dirty, stringy and in a pony tail, his face looked gaunt. He just looked like a desperate guy who had lived a desperate life. And then, somehow, it all became MY problem!
But this story now has a very interesting karmic twist to it. I will tell you all about it tomorrow.
Posted by: Ryan on November 17, 2005 10:23 AMi let this stuff go EVER SINCE the big ice storm we had, when traffic was stopped for a Very Long Time on the overpass. The gentleman in back of me was honking and yelling and ...hey... wait a minute... maybe it was the same guy?) honked and screamed behind me until he pulled into the hospital emergency entrance.
Then i was, you know, guilt ridden and ashamed because i thought it was All About Me. Which it should be but isn't a lot of the time.
My dad was honked at by a woman who was irritated that he wasn't making a right turn at a red light, but she couldn't see that there was a guy on a bike in the way. So he got out of his car, walked back and tapped on her window (by which point she'd nearly wet herself, despite the fact that my father is all of 5'2") and asked politely, "Are you suggesting I just run over the man on the bike who is in front of my car?" She mumbled an apology and slinked away in her little car.
Tee hee!
And tanya, whoever that guy was going to see/attend in the hospital would not have been helped if he'd gotten in a bad wreck and killed himself and/or others!