December 12, 2005
Girl Fight!
Remember how I said last week that the remodel of the guest room was going well and that “most remarkably of all, TMK and I have not beaten each other to death?”
Scratch that. Things have gone rapidly downhill since then...although I wouldn’t summon the divorce lawyers quite yet, since our last fight over the redesign went something like this:
“You suck.”
“No, you suck.”
(pause)
“You’re a stupid fart.”
“No, you’re a stupid fart.”
(pause)
“You’re a poo-poo head.”
“No, you’re a poo-poo head.”
(pause)
“You suck.”
“No, you suck.”
Etc.
And, ultimately, as Dr. Phil would say, we’re avoiding the real issue which is that there isn’t a single straight line in the guest room, not vertical, not horizontal—heck, I'm starting to suspect even time bends in this room—which is making the installing of the wainscoting a pain in the patootie, and that the true poo-poo heads are all those TV shows that fool you into thinking this stuff is easy.
But things are getting done. Again, the room before:
The room now, painted and with some of the wainscoting up. You can’t see it in this picture but where the level is leaning against the wall, the wall actually bows out and back in again. Fun to work around. Not.
The old closet door in a putrid, pointless plum:
And now:
And the one part of the process that went without a hitch—putting a brass switchplate up. Now that we can do!
In between bouts of “You suck,” I did get some knitting done for the avalanche of babies at work. The arrival of the twins gave me an excuse to try this pattern which I had wanted to try ever since Anj mentioned that her partner Sue had knit it. For this sweater, I used an outrageously bright, lime-green Plymouth Encore. The second one will be done in a bright purple, even though this may make me single-handedly responsible for scarring the twins’ psyches so deeply that, as adults, they avoid bright sunlight, wear nothing but brown and beige, and only speak in a whisper.
My opinion of the pattern: Has its problems but is so fun, fabulous and fast, who cares? In fact, I can’t wait to start the second one.
That being said, there is one part of the pattern that befuddled me. Maybe someone can ‘splain it to me. Now, I understand short-rowing and have done it many a time (hell, I even survived making the Fiber Trends Felted Clog pattern which is as close as you can come to short-row aversion therapy) but I got lost in the short-row part of the sweater pattern.
Below is the confusing part. The part in bold is what’all I don’t understand and my questions/comments are in red. Note, you're doing all of this between two stitch markers that are about 30 stitches apart, and I understand that you're just supposed to shuttle back and forth between those two markers like a shooting gallery duck...but that's about where my brain short-circuits.
Round 1: K1,P1,K1, P1 (seed st) knit until 3 sts before next marker, K2tog,K1, PM, K1, SSP, knit until 3 sts before next marker, K2tog,K1, PM, knit until 3 sts before next marker, work a short row (got this/did this), purl back (to where?) and work another short row, knit (to where?) to finish (“finish?”) that short row, purl back to finish (“finish?”) the other short row, knit to the next marker, PM, K1, SSP, knit until 3 sts before next marker, K2tog,K1, PM, K1, SSP, knit until last 4 sts, work in seed st.
Fortunately, there was an out: The next paragraph contained 12 liberating little words: “You can omit the short rows on the back if you wish.” Which I did. Which ‘splains why the sweater is finished except for seaming under the arms, and why I’m hungrily eyeing the purple yarn.
Oh, and sixth time was the charm for the pink hat:
P.S. TMK, you're a poo-poo head.
Posted by Ryan at December 12, 2005 10:40 AMHmmph! (Just remember, I have the password to the blog. Mwoowhaha! I could still get in the last word--stupid fart.)
Posted by: The Mysterious K on December 12, 2005 10:57 AMYou might be having difficulties with poo-poo head, but the room is looking SO NICE. You'll love it when its finished if the project doesn't finish y'all! No, really... you'll survive. :)
And that "short row" mess... what is that? I've gotta have WAY more guidance than "make a short row." As if!
Posted by: Laura on December 12, 2005 11:29 AMOoooh! Ooooh1 Girl fight!
What I especially love about this fight, as recorded by you, is that at no time did you discuss your FEELings.
Which, lately, with my nearest dearest girl, I have had to do a lot.
Quite a lot.
Not that I'm bitter.
Can I come live with you? Either will do, apparently.
By the way, did you update your bookmarks? Cause I OWN MY OWN DOMAIN now, having obtained Help.
From girls.
Posted by: Anne on December 12, 2005 11:59 AMHmmfff......you're BOTH poo-poo heads for arguing about a room some stupid man build crooked. The room looks lovely and you're both doing a fabulous job. Now stop arguing, kiss and make up, and behave yourselves or you'll both get a time out.
Psst. Love the sweater, Ms. Ryan. It's bee-yoo-tee-mus.
Posted by: Stalker Angie on December 12, 2005 12:01 PMThat is very bad instruction writing. I'll give this a whirl.
Original:
work a short row, purl back and work another short row, knit to finish that short row, purl back to finish the other short row,
My version:
With right side facing, knit until one stitch before the end of the row (work a short row), wrap this stitch and turn your work. With wrong side facing, purl until one stitch before the end of the row (purl back), wrap this stitch and turn your work (and work another short row). Knit to the wrapped stitch and knit it together with the wrap (knit to finish that short row). Turn your work. Purl to the wrapped stitch and purl it together with the wrap (purl back to finish the other short row).
How's that?
Posted by: LaurieM on December 12, 2005 12:24 PMThere is only one piece of trim installed in our bathroom because we ran out of names to call each other and decided the bathroom must therefore be done.
I suppose we should have mentioned that at Azteca?
Posted by: Elaine on December 12, 2005 01:32 PMMy hubbie and I prefer "OLD Fart" as opposed to stupid fart... Love the room, by the way.
Merry Christmas!!!
Posted by: Marty52 on December 12, 2005 01:38 PMI have to say that, slanging and squabbling aside, the spare bedroom looks fabulous! I love the colors and hte wainscoting is looking great!
I'm still negotiating the couple home improvement thing. I take heart that my parents have been doing this for thirty-odd years and they *still* don't work together gracefully and yet home improvement happens and happens well. Yay?
Posted by: Melanie on December 12, 2005 02:25 PMI am married to a contractor, and every time I want something, he says, "Nobody does it that way." And he really REALLY doesn't believe that I don't care, and I want it that way anyway, and after about 4 months of arguing (and some tears of frustration, that, I'm ashamed to say, work better that real adult negotiation), I get it the way I want it, and he says, "Wow, that looks good" and shows it to his clients. Uh huh. I thought so.
And his name is $hithead (pronounced sha-THEED) and I am @sswipe (pronouced az-WEE-pay).
Happy wainscotting. It looks great. (Although I kinda liked the purple door with the green.)
TMK, don't read Carrie's last sentence. ;-)
Posted by: Ryan on December 12, 2005 04:42 PMToo late! Neener, neener! (Carrie, I liked the plum with the sage, but Ryan won that round.) TMK
Posted by: The Mysterious K on December 12, 2005 05:01 PMhar...got me laughing again. :)
Posted by: Lisa in Oregon on December 13, 2005 06:18 AMOK, I learned my lesson today:
Do not read Mossy Cottage Knits while waiting for your attorney to answer his phone. There's no way to explain my burst of laughter when he answers, which means he's either offended because he thinks I'm laughing at him (and his fee just went up) or he thinks I'm completely around the bend (again with the fee).
Too funny; merry christmas you two.
Ladies, ladies, ladies. Don't you know that male contractors build crooked walls purposely so that they can (a) engineer fights between two halves of a couple; (b) get more renovation jobs; and (c) drive more people insane. The room looks tremendous; you two have done a wonderful job on it despite the evil plans of the (male) contractor. Stop calling names -- Santa will leave both of you mouldy carrots in your stockings!
Posted by: Carol on December 13, 2005 08:25 AMIt looks like the short rows are to raise the back of the neck for a better fit. I have knit raglans without that and they fit fine. Depends on how fiddly you want to be. The short rows should reach around to the front raglan shaping or a little more and be progressively shorter. Lime green and purple should be really cute on twins. I'll have to try that pattern. And I want that bead board wainscotting in my kitchen. I love it.
Posted by: Joan in Reno on December 13, 2005 09:31 AMP.S. I like the white door better than the plum, too.
Posted by: Joan in Reno on December 13, 2005 09:56 AMThe room looks very nice, despite everything... and the door DID have a certain je-ne-sais-quoi.
Posted by: CarolineF on December 13, 2005 11:56 AMsorry, Ryan, but I'm all for color. I have a blue bathroom, a pink master bathroom, a periwinkle bedroom, a green bedroom, a teal bedroom, a purple kitchen, and a dining room and living room that are two shades of terra cotta. And NO, I did not go to clown college, why do you ask?
Posted by: Carrie on December 14, 2005 09:00 AMI have never lived in a house with straight walls...I thought it was part of the builder's code to make 'em that way! My hubby usually gives in when I pick a paint color scheme (he doesn't like green...but y'know, the kitchen looks really nice in green...but he really doesn't like green...on the other hand, we painted a bathroom all white, several coats, because he said the bathroom must be WHITE...so ). I think it looks good (plum door or not)
Posted by: Jean on December 14, 2005 11:40 AMIt is always interesting to do remodel / home improvement jobs with the better half.. we're doing the bathroom, a complete tearout down to the studs, new sink, tub, and new shower install, tile the walls *and* floor... uff da.
We have multi-purpose words that are both pet names and insults. Pookie schnoo, Schnookie poo, pook, poo, schnook, schnoo.... you get the idea! (they started out as us making fun of couples who have really saccharine gooey names for each other, and, well, *sigh* -we seem to have succumbed. :)
Jenny