June 09, 2006
Of Pains and Skeins
Don’t you just hate it when you have to be a Grown Up? You know, those moments when you have to make An Important Decision and then you realize to your unending horror that you’re going to make the Right Choice because it’s Sensible and Adult even though the Wrong Choice is easier and more fun and involves ice cream?
During a long conversation with Big Sister about this exact thing on Wednesday, I remembered the very first time I realized I had become a Grown Up (which has nothing to do with turning 18, by the way) and could no longer run to Mommy and Daddy when things went awry: The day I made my first dental appointment. When Nothing Was Wrong. It’s one thing if you’ve cracked a tooth on a popcorn kernel (or on something "mysterious" in a gyro sandwich, like I did) and are in excruciating pain and have to see a dentist right away nomatterwhat. That has nothing to do with being an adult. Hell, given the right amount of pain, even a 3-year-old will miraculously figure out how to dial 1-800-DENTIST. But when you make a six-month check-up appointment, and willingly subject yourself to the emotional and physical torture of the dentist's chair, just because it's the responsible thing to do, that’s the day you become a Grown Up.
Wednesday was one of those horrendous “Grown Up” days. My hope was that the doctor would march in and tell me unequivocally whether or not I had to have the surgery. I hoped he would either look at me sadly and say, "You are thisclose to death; you have to have the surgery immediately." Or look at me with a broad grin on his face and say, "The problem has disappeared. You are free to go." But, no, he took the coy route, saying that, since I am in no immediate danger, I could go along with things the way they are, or, since things are never going to get better, perhaps I should consider having the surgery done sooner rather than later because I’m not, well, you know, ahem, getting any younger. And no matter how much I batted my eyelashes, which wouldn’t’ve worked on this particular doctor anyway, and no matter how much I begged him to tell me what to do, he said the best he could do was talk it through with me so we could come to a decision Together. Together—suddenly my least favorite word in the English language.
So, knowing myself and knowing that I am (to use the most supremely nauseating of all cutesy sayings) the Queen of Denial and knowing that, if I didn’t have the surgery, I would just wait around until things got really bad, and then blame everyone else for why the surgery wasn’t done sooner, I took the Grown-Up route and scheduled the dentist appointment the dadblasted surgery, which entails a long recuperation.
Which means, Dear Readers, that starting next Wednesday, the postings to Mossy Cottage will become infrequent for a while because (a) I don’t know what the future holds and (b) how many cutely captioned photos do you really want to see of my blanket-covered toes sticking up at the end of the bed? However, since the blog seems to be extremely important to TMK (sometimes, I think, even more than it is to me), I suspect she will do whatever she can to get me blogging again ASAP. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if I struggled up out of the anaesthesia to find a laptop carefully propped on my stomach, sutures be damned, and my fingers held in position over the keyboard by a certain someone.
For now, I’m just left with one thought: I want my Mommy.
Now to a story I have been dying to tell all of you.
Remember how, in my April 28 entry, I talked about the Rosemary Hallgarten rug company and its desire to donate yarn to the Dulaan Project and how I had no idea how much yarn they were going to donate or where I was going to store it? Remember how I envisioned stacking yarn way on up into the 25-foot-high A-frame of my home?
Well, strap yourselves in, girls and boys.
Are you strapped?
Okay, here we go.
1,000 skeins.
Yep, 1,000.
One. Thousand.
I have no idea what that really means. Are they small skeins? Are they big? What colors are they? Are they really alpaca? And, as ever, where am I going to store them? And what am I going to do with them? And is it too much to ask TMK, who will already have her hands full playing nursemaid to me while I do my best Norma Desmond, to also be responsible for 1,000 skeins of yarn?
News at 11.
(Actually, news now. I wrote this yesterday, not knowing that when I got home, the first of four homongous boxes would be squatting on my doorstep. On the downside, it's not alpaca. Also on the downside, it's not terribly soft but it is definitely useable. On the upside, it is 100% wool. On the even upper side, it's super-bulky (which was the biggest surprise) which will knit up fast and is perfect for -40 degree Mongolian nights. On the even upper-upper side, the colors are great: Just solids, but a fun, bright yellow; a grayish robin's egg blue; a beautiful dark slate blue; and a rich terra cotta.
Most of the yarn is already in smaller, manageable skeins. The terra cotta, however, is in unimaginably huge and hefty hanks that you have to haul up with both hands (preferably with legs spread and knees bent and while wearing a weight-lifting belt) and which are larger than my entire upper torso, no exaggeration.
And this was only Box #1. Oy.
As it now stands, the plan for this yarn is twofold. One, I'm toying with the idea of having a local Dulaan Yarn Giveaway Day, which will involve knitters just dropping by with their U-Hauls and weight-lifting belts to take away however much of the yarn they can use. For people in other states, I'm considering charging the cost of the "all it can hold," one-price U.S. Postal Service mailing boxes and mailing them as much of the yarn as I can cram in the box. Currently I believe these boxes cost $8.10.
Anyway, this is way down the road, after I have returned to civilized society and after we have officially launched Dulaan 2007.
I will be posting on Monday so I'll make sure to include some photos.)
Ryan, sounds like you have a pretty rotten summer ahead of you. But so grown-up. Wish I lived closer, but 3,000 miles (yup, I'm over here on the other side of the U.S.) -- well, the soup would definitely get cold. I bet that Seattle gang will take good care of you -- and of TMK too.
Posted by: Elizabeth D on June 9, 2006 11:01 AMI wish you a speedy recovery! I look forward to whatever you get a chance to post, no matter how few and far between they are! (Maybe Frankie can fill in once in awhile!)
Posted by: Sheri on June 9, 2006 11:02 AMBeing a grown-up is hard work, which is why so few of us choose it. But Ollie (the Corgi), Torden the Norwegian Fjord, and we the humans wish you the best recovery possible. When will you be able to sit up and take nourishment? Is there any chance of extended knitting time, while righteously absent from work? What would you most want the Brigade to do, bring, or sing for you? We will miss you unbearably!
Posted by: joan on June 9, 2006 11:33 AMYou're in my thoughts Ryan. That's a huge decision to have to make, but I'm glad you're going ahead. Please let me know what I can do for you - now, during recovery or beyond.
I think a local giveaway would be superfantastic. You might also see if anyone going to Black Sheep Gathering would be willing to take a box, or perhaps talk to one of the vendors to see if they'd be willing to help coordinate leaflets/free skeins for the project? Or hell, just give the BSG folks a call and see if they'd be willing to help. Since that's one of the biggest shows on the West Coast, I think it'd be a great opp to get Dulaan out there, and also to get the skeins to new homes. If I were going to BSG I'd do it, but I'm not heading south this year.
Regardless, if you do the local giveaway thing, please let me know if I can add some more of this free fleece to the pile. I'm swimming in it, and will never in a zillion years spin it all up. I'd like to have more of it go to good homes for Dulaan or other charity orgs.
BIG hug, and please do let me know if I can help.
Posted by: moiraeknits on June 9, 2006 11:47 AMI hate these times, decisions and growing up and need a mom times. Positive thoughts, virtual hugs and deep meditative breaths coming your way. my best...
Posted by: connnie on June 9, 2006 12:04 PMSending many healthy thoughts your way so that you'll be up and at it again soon. Is the upside of the recuperation that you'll have lots of knitting and movie watching time? I hope so.
Awesome news on the yarns.
Posted by: Jenna on June 9, 2006 12:18 PMWe will be sending positive thoughts your way as you recover!! Take care and get well soon!
Posted by: Pat P on June 9, 2006 12:46 PMWell shoot. Being grown up is no fun. But I'm glad you are doing the grown up thing and I think you and TMK should fully flex your Brigade muscles. Let us know what you need us to do to help out. And that includes sending copious amounts of chocolate.
When you are feeling better let me know. I'll bring Sapphire by to cuddle with you. Frankie may not be too happy about that but you will get a sighthound fix and Sapphire does love to cuddle! You won't mind when she ends up like this, http://www.woolberryfarm.com/mt/mt-static/Hounds/SapphOnVacation.jpg will you?
Heal fast! We will all think good knitty/healing thoughts for you.
Posted by: Laurie on June 9, 2006 12:55 PMWell shoot and likewise poop. I'm sorry to hear about the upcoming surgery - but more concernened about whether that's actually going to fix things. Is it?
In any case, I hope things go well, quickly and as easily as possible and that you are back to your sunny self in jig time. Do please let me know if there's any way I can help?
Posted by: Robbyn on June 9, 2006 01:14 PMRyan, I'm so sorry about the surgery. Best wishes for a speedy recovery!
Posted by: Kirsten on June 9, 2006 01:55 PMDitto Robbyn's first sentence. I, too, am sorry I live so far away that I can't come by in person, but you should be glad you won't be getting a casserole from me. Cooking meals for the recuperating is not one of my gifts.
Did you hear the scream from Virginia when I read the number 1,000?
I would love to get a box crammed full of yarn. Is there someone in your local area who might be willing to take on the mailing to out-of-staters?
Posted by: daisy on June 9, 2006 02:49 PMWell, poot. That's not the greatest news. Better now than later, if it's inevitable, so I support you in your very adult decision. And I'm lucky enough to be close by, so you have to let me know if you need anything. If TMK is better at this than you are, delegate! And I'm sure she can blog a time or two, and Frankie, too! Heck, Mary B should guest blog at least once!
Both ideas for the yarn giveaway sound good. Ahem. I'm having trouble imagining a hank of yarn larger than your upper torso.
Posted by: Patti on June 9, 2006 03:35 PMHere's what I'm picturing: during the annual Stitch 'n' Pitch, you climbing up and down the stands, bearing one of those hot dog boxes in front, shouting, "Skeins! Skeins here! Getcher hot skeins!" and expertly lobbing them to eager fans, maybe mussing the hair of a freckle-faced young scamp before leading everyone in The Wave.
But, like Patti says above, picturing a skein larger than your upper torso requires, frankly, more imagination than a monk can muster.
And thanks for the reportage on making Grown Up Decisions. I'd read about them in magazines.
You know that great rolling clouds of Buddhist blessings are wafting your way, cuz. We love you, and everything's going to be fine.
Posted by: Cuzzin Tom on June 9, 2006 04:04 PMTo Patti and The Cuzz: Despite your not-so-subtle jabs at my upper-torso (you can take that literally or figuratively as you wish), I kid you not. The skeins of terra cotta yarn are That Big. Photographic proof to come.
And I much appreciate the blessings, Cuzz. After all, I need to be around to carry on YOUR Dulaan Campaign. (You're going to learn to knit when?)
Thank you everyone for your good wishes!!!!!!!
Posted by: Ryan on June 9, 2006 04:26 PMTMK do make sure that a laptop is available in a way that won't hurt - believe me having it to read on and off is a sanity saver after surgery. Even if it is just to read trashy beach type novels that go quick and take no thought at all.
Sending good thoughts your way - and you did make the hard but right decision - after this it will be behind you and hopefully you won't have to think about it ever again except as "that lousy summer I...."
RE: Surgery...don't know the details, but...been there, done that in many ways...alone and with a semi-supportive partner...don't hesitate to write for support.
As to yarn for 2007: PLEASE consider an option for those of us at a distance!! I'll gladly pay shipping (both ways!) and spend some time over the next 12 months to turn FREE into WARMTH! $8.10 for as much as you can shove into a box is worth it (a couple of time, as a matter of fact) to me. If you can manage, and have time time, please think of us at a distance....
I'm sorry about the need for surgery, but yay for making responsible choices.
Here's to flawless surgery and a speedy recovery!
:)
Good luck, I'm sure you will be just fine.
Posted by: CarolineF on June 9, 2006 05:19 PMRyan, what goes around comes around, and for all the good you have done, your recovery should be perfect, and speedy.
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Karen
Posted by: Karen M on June 9, 2006 05:22 PMRyan, boo on those grownup decisions that come to us. Good luck with the surgery and a quick and easy healing.
Posted by: sheila on June 9, 2006 07:42 PMbest wishes for a speedy recovery. at least you can knit a lot while you're in bed. :) we've just started a little knitting group at work and the first thing decided upon was to knit some things for the dulaan project. that's awesome that you got 1,000 skeins of yarn. most of the people in the group are new to knitting and i've been trying to convince them that wool is worth the money (and the only way to go for mongolian nights). i'd definitely be interested in paying for the cost of postage if i can get some good wool to knit up. but i do hope you have a safe surgery and quick recovery. :)
Posted by: thuy on June 9, 2006 11:40 PMI sell a lot of stuff on eBay, so I mail things all the time. In fact, sitting beside my desk right now, I have my latest shipment of 50 USPS Priority Flat Rate boxes, $8.10 for as much as you can cram into it. (Those things are the best!) I'm also fully equipped with the ability to print postage on labels - I'm basically a one-woman post office!
I'd be more than happy to mail Dulaan yarn out to anyone who's willing to pay shipping fees. Hit me up when you get better, I can swing by and pick up a bunch to mail out. (But not one of those giant mega skeins, I have zero upper body strength!)
Posted by: Erika on June 10, 2006 12:20 AMRyan, best of luck with the surgery. You'll be recovered before you know it.
I'd be interested in helping you use up your wool! :) Be happy to get a Flat Rate Box full!
Posted by: Kathleen on June 10, 2006 06:20 AMWell, NOR-MA!!! Oh you'll be glad you got this over with, or as my Mom says, you won't have this hanging over your head anymore. (or whatever appropriate part)
I'll miss the ever colorful posts, maybe you could tech up and get one of those voice into text type programs?? Anyway you'll be back better, faster and stronger than you were before. They can rebuild you...er wait that's a different show. You COULD become the BIONIC BLOGGER....!
Ryan, sorry to hear of the need for the grown-up decision. Sending you and TMK AND your surgeon good healthy, happy thoughts, and lots of love to all residents in the Mossy Cottage.
Ryan,
sending best wishes your way and warm cuddly hugs from the west coast of Canada. You just get yourself better and don't worry about the blog. We'll still be here when you're ready.
mega hugs for you,
mary anne
Ryan, honey. Sounds like you and I are going to be having similarly sutured summers. Sh*t.
I had to make the same kind of adult decision, and it totally, utterly sucks to have the doc say, "well, it's up to you..."
I don't know about you, but I'm thinking the dentist's chair is looking positively comfy. Here's to getting through all this crapola in the best possible way, with a hell of a lot of love and good wishes. I'm sending mine to you, that's for sure.
Rock on, babe.
Posted by: Lee Ann on June 10, 2006 12:49 PMComing out of lurkdom to wish you nothing but the best! May your recovery be as painless as possible!
Posted by: Kristen on June 10, 2006 02:11 PMWill definately shell out for a couple of boxes of yarn - post details when ready - are you set up for PayPal - quick and easy -
Get better sooner - we are all with you and have needles crossed for your quick and easy recovery.
Posted by: Childe on June 10, 2006 03:20 PMI hate being a grown-up, but it sounds as though you're handling the job with common sense and grace. All my best wishes for a very speedy recovery .......
Posted by: Ruth on June 10, 2006 08:00 PMSo sorry to hear the news; as long as they don't excise your Sense Of Humour i am sure you will recuperate swiftly, it's a wonderful medicine. I suppose...sigh!... I will have to occasionally glance at your Cuzzins blog in the meantime - poor compensation for your delightful wit (must be a Girl thing). Anyway, be assured prayer clouds are wafting in from the SW as well, and as i live in a valley named after a female wisdom being (Dakini), may they be especially potent. I wish you well.
Ani Kunzang
I've been a quiet lurker too. and am so sorry for your misfortune but proud of your grown-up moment. Isn't it funny how we want our mommies no matter how old we are? I was in hosp. over Christmas and all I wanted was to hear my mothers voice....which is imposible as she's with the angels now. Save my email and put me on the list to take a box or two of yarn off your hands...(one at a time)...I'll sit under the AC in az. and knit lots of warm woolies for you!! Whatever your surgery is........attitude is the key to a good, rapid recovery. So even if you can't type you can read.........and you can lurk all the good knitting blogs and laugh as we have been doing. Laughing after surgery is very good for you. it increases those endorphins and expands your lungs and keeps them clear and healthy while you are resting in bed.Keep smiling, and don't forget to push that morphine button!!! Please have someone post on your progress....and we will send messages of encouragement!!! Prayers will be coming from Arizona!!
Posted by: Jenna on June 11, 2006 11:48 AMForgot to add before - grown-up decisions do indeed suck. :-/ Keep us posted on your progress, and let us know if we can help you with anything!
Posted by: Erika on June 11, 2006 12:06 PMSo sorry about surgery - there are times when being the grown up sucks. Hope your recovery goes swimmingly.
And, I was thinking about trying to orgainize a bunch of middle-schoolers to knit hats for Dulaan next year... maybe a box of yarn can wing its way out here for that? (I'd pay shipping of course!)
Posted by: melissa on June 11, 2006 03:36 PMOh, Ryan -- the image of you waking up in the recovery room strapped to a laptop is just too funny! Glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humor despite having made The Grown Up Choice. Best wishes for a speedy recovery!!
Posted by: Denise in Kent, WA on June 11, 2006 04:21 PMRyan, I hope all goes well with the surgery, and as long as you can sit up and knit, the recovery will be over eventually (but don't wreck your arms/shoulders/neck!). The wool... I'm gonna need a picture of all that wool...
Posted by: Mary de B on June 12, 2006 07:05 AMIt is truly amazing how much knitting a person can accomplish on bed rest. However, if you're taking pain killers stick to knitting something simple so you don't have to rip when you realize your brain was off planet...
Best of luck with the surgery and recovery. Oh, and podcasts will help pass time.
Posted by: Sylvia on June 12, 2006 08:34 AMSending good thoughs and will certainly add you to prayers -- just keep smiling. It DOES help for quick recovery. And put me down on the list of those who will be glad to underwrite the $8.10 and knit up a box of the woolly stuff.
Bobbie in Wyoming
I will take some!!! I can paypal you the money and knit all day and night. I have big needles and an even bigger heart. Keep me posted!!!
Posted by: Vick Forman on June 12, 2006 10:56 AMRyan, just remember this: they don't give no medals for pain endurance (a direct quote from my husband, the nurse) so KEEP PUSHING THAT MORPHINE BUTTON! My very, very best wishes to you for a speedy recovery with lots of time to knit and cruise the 'net even if you don't blog. We'll all be thinking of you and waiting not so patiently to hear about/from you.
And I'll take one o' them $8.10 boxes, too. I'd even pay the postage to send one to somebody else.
Take care...
Posted by: KathytTA on June 17, 2006 08:16 PM