July 26, 2006
Ever Voluntarily Wash Your Mouth Out With Soap?
(Afternoon Update: If you've popped over here from Norma's blog, I still have all of the yarn left. I need to look in the boxes and figure out what I have before I start the giveaway.
Two notes: (1) All of the yarn is chunky/bulky and is of medium quality, not terribly soft but not terribly scratchy either. (2) You'll need to pay postage, although I'll do whatever is most economical for you. (2) Due to a tax arrangement between F.I.R.E. and the company that donated the yarn, the yarn will HAVE to be used for Dulaan.
While I gear up for all of this, please keep me in mind for your Dulaan yarn needs, and check here for the latest info!)
It has become painfully obvious to me that, compared to what some other folks—like commenter Beth in Saint Louis—are suffering through, TMK and I haven’t even come close to being planetary sh*t magnets for Lee Ann. Still, I continue in my very insignificant way. Take this, for example:
This is a photograph of the inside of TMK’s freezer:
See the two bottles of frozen water? The one on the left (I repeat, the left) is mine. I’ve been using it to help me survive the recent days of Weather Hell, the record-breaking temperatures of which have made our local meteorologists pee their pants with giddiness. The bottle on the right (I repeat, on the right) is for the dog. During the hottest of the hot nights (and to reiterate what many other Seattle bloggers have mentioned: In this city, if you have air conditioning, you are considered a wussie and a pantywaist and, in some twisted way, an enemy of the environment. Therefore, if your house is 90 degrees at midnight, that’s the temperature it’s going to stay until the wee hours of the morn…when it goes down to 89.), we would give her her frozen bottle and let her lick it and slobber on it and nose it around with her slimy doggy nose and rub it all over the fur on the carpet that she had shed earlier that day. Oh, and bark at it with a high-pitched, frenzied bark. She sounded much like the giddy meteorologists, in fact.
I had explained the logistics of this all very carefully to TMK: Bottle on the left, mine; bottle on the right, Frankie’s. So you can imagine my reaction after I had asked TMK to get me my bottle, which she very obligingly did, and had spent a considerable amount of time slurping icy, refreshing water from it and clasping it in my hands and pressing and rubbing it against my forehead and cheeks and wrists, and had gone back to the freezer to put it back in its proper location…and saw this:
You do the math.
Thank God we had made it a habit to wash the bottle off after doggie playtime or I’d be at the veterinary hospital now with rabies or worms or mange or something, and probably crammed into one of those tiny cages they keep the cats in. Then I’d be a planetary sh*t magnet, all right. The things we do for you, Lee Ann.
Yesterday the big question was, is Ryan strong enough to go to Stitch & Pitch? I had no frickin’ idea, but I was determined to give it the old college try. Fortunately, (a) the temperature had dropped to a balmy 80 degrees and (b) we had wangled a ride with pals Elaine and Leslie so I didn’t have to face the prospect of an hour-long bus ride before schlepping through the city streets to get to the ballpark and up various escalators and stairs to get to Section 341, Row 20, Seat 2. (I say “fortunately” although half-way through the drive down, TMK and Leslie, who were sitting in the back, decided to serenade us with “Take Me Out To the Ballgame” sung the “Alvin and the Chipmunks” way. Loudly. And over and over and over. And over.)
Once we got to the ballpark, the biggest challenge was the endless stairs up to the Everest-ian location of our seats but I took it slowly, hunched over to protect my abdomen, hauling myself up by the handrail, and was rewarded with a faint smattering of cheers and applause from blog readers seated in the area who knew what it had taken for me to get up there. That was too funny.
Game-wise, apparently the Mariners had decided, as a team, to jump on the planetary sh*t magnet bandwagon since the Toronto Blue Jays opened a major can of whup-ass on them. It was not pretty. But I didn’t care, since I spent most of the game knitting this:
…and half-turned around in my seat chatting with Dorothy.
The best part of the game? When one of our local falcons flew by.
The most embarrassing part of the game? When I actually—no lie—looked up in the sky to see the informational banner they superimpose on the TV screen and which tells you the game stats. Needless to say, there was no banner. TMK found this vastly amusing.
So after the ups and downs of the last five weeks, I’m packing up and heading out today, hoping to get myself reacclimated to hearth and home before I return to work on Monday. This means access to a computer will be sharply curtailed since I don’t have one at home, but I will check in whenever I can.
Thank you everyone for making my recuperation much more fun than it would otherwise have been.
Posted by Ryan at July 26, 2006 01:56 PMYay! I'm so glad you made it out to the game and had fun. I am still jealous and waiting for the Astros to hop on board the bandwagon.
The water bottle thing is too funny. Kinda like me being sneaky and stealing a bit of the hubby's ice cream from the coffee table (using his spoon) only to see him come back and CONTINUE using it to feed the dogs THEIR ice cream. Yeah.
Posted by: Stalker Angie on July 26, 2006 02:23 PMDude, buy a different brand of water next time so the bottles look different. Reminds of the story asbout the woman who had cubes of her breastmilk in the fridge for baby emergencies. One evening her husband was entertaining when she wasn't home and his visitor remarked on how sweet the rum-and-coke tasted. You can guess the rest...
Posted by: M-H on July 26, 2006 02:28 PManother trick is to take the paper band off the dogs water bottle easier for the dog to lick and love and roll around and very visible that it is not your bottle-- from a person who doesn't do lefts and rights....
so happy you are feeling good enough to head to the homestead before going back to work -- but still take it easy and be good to you.
did I miss the final Dulaan tally?
Posted by: rho on July 26, 2006 02:39 PMOf course, there are a million different ways we could have and should have distinguished the bottles from each other but, nah. Because of The Incident, there is now a rubberband on my bottle to identify it--but this is all moot since I'm leaving anyway.
Rho, you didn't miss the final count. I'll ask F.I.R.E. whazzup next week and let everyone know.
Er, M-H, when is a rum-and-coke made with milk? I'm not much of an imbiber so I may know nuthin' about nuthin' but, still, I thought they were just made with rum and, er, coke.
Posted by: Ryan on July 26, 2006 02:46 PMUm, did you say you don't have a computer at home? You are a dedicated blog mistress indeed! Thanks for all the extra effort it must take. Be well....
Posted by: marylee on July 26, 2006 03:15 PMWell, Mary Lee, the absolute truth is I do have a computer but it's the technical equivalent of a Model-T and runs very slowly and probably has Version 1 on it of any existing software. The bigger issue is that I don't have an Internet connection.
Posted by: Ryan on July 26, 2006 03:34 PMYou still there, or have you left already? I just sent you an email asking, do you still have some of that avalanche of yarn to give away? I've got more takers of mine than I have some to give away, so I'm hoping to steer them your way. Actually, I already wrote the post. I'll take it down if you don't have enough left....
Posted by: Norma on July 26, 2006 03:51 PMNorma, I haven't even STARTED to give the Avalanche away. Send people my way, although they will have to pay postage, 'cuz I'm not magnanimous enough to let the yarn avalanche send me to the poor house. Also, due to a tax arrangement between F.I.R.E. and the rug company, my yarn HAS to be used for Dulaan. Thanks, Norma!!!
Posted by: Ryan on July 26, 2006 04:09 PMOh, I'm sorry you were at that Mariners game last night! I forgot the Stitch and Pitch was yesterday -- I watched that game (as a dedicated Blue Jays fan) and revelled in the carnage my team was inflicting -- now I feel bad!
But I'm very glad you were able to get there, and haven't suffered too many ill-effects.
Posted by: Aven on July 26, 2006 06:15 PMI'm glad you felt well enough to venture to the carnage baseball game. Sounds like a good time was had by all.
I was going to help take some of the avalanche, but, in the meantime, I received my own mini-avalanche of wool and un-identifiable fibers from a gal that runs a Red Heart (mostly) afghan program. She had been gifted with four large kitchen bags (as opposed to lawn and leaf size) full of 100% wool and assorted mixes and unidentified pieces (which may well be acrylic) -- they can't use it for their project, so I volunteered to take it off her hands for Dulaan... and since she also lives in MD and I was able to go meet her, no postage involved!
Hope you have lots of takers to clear you out and make wonderful things for the 2007 Dulaan project.
BTW, good luck going back to work. That was close to the worst part of the Big H for me.
Posted by: Kathleen on July 26, 2006 07:27 PMI make no apologies for the carnage inflicted by the Toronto Blue Jays. If this is anything like last season, it won't happen much so I have to enjoy tales of it while I can.
And Ryan, darling; I think the rum and cokes were sweet because the husband used what he thought were regular ice cubes, not because he intentionally tried to put milk in the drink. Which makes it a bit scary he'd be willing to put cream coloured ice in anything however.
Posted by: Rachel H on July 26, 2006 09:20 PMjust a suggestion from a (now) formerly de-lurkin', knittin' dog-lover in steamy north carolina. you could make pupsicles, which is basically frozen meaty broth with a rawhide stick (so dogs don't accidentally ingest the wooden stick). I make them for the dogs at the local animal shelter, which does not have air conditioning, and they love them to bits. Pupsicles aren't hard to make and they're pretty much mess-free as long as the dog consumes it outside. And I'm pretty sure you can distinguish between the pupsicles and your water bottle :)
I would mail one for Frankie, but at the rate the weather is going, it'll just be chicken soup and a rawhide stick. :)
Hope you get better soon!
That water bottle story is funny. I can picture my significant other doing the same thing. Good thing Frankie is so healthy!
Have fun returning to work. So glad you are feeling better.
I worried you with my husband's comment about using the Dulaan yarn for Christmas, didn't I? Fear not, I will use Dulaan yarn for Dulaan, and spend his paychecks for Christmas yarn. Damn, it's for his mother and sisters, he should be grateful, right? ;-)
I hope you stay well, and that The Wall is kept at bay while you're reacclimating.
And having been at my inlaw's house in Montana when the weather is a ridiculous 105 and not only is there no air conditioning, but they don't have windows that open, I have decided that even if I live in Finnish Lapland with Lene from Dances With Wool, my house WILL have A/C. The environmentalists can glare at me from outside while they sweat and wilt.
I'd like to make some more hats and mittens for Dulann. I'm more than happy to pay postage, plus a little for your trouble. How much should I send and where should I send it?
~Sylvia
Glad you're feeling well enough to be up and around (even if it did involve a losing baseball game - I'm a soccer fan & watching the US lose (even on tv) was painful enough.) I'm more than willing to pay postage, but I have a quick question about the yarn - can it be used for a blanket or will it smother (or crush) a person sleeping under it? I made hats, mittens etc this year and I'm a little hatted-out. I was thinking that I would do one large project and a blanket seemed like a reasonable idea.
Posted by: Emily on July 27, 2006 02:21 PMI suspected you underwent the big H. I had mine last August - it was tough, but one of the best things. I love my new carefree days (no more monthlies - well it actually was more 24/7 towards the end - YUCK!).
Ryan, you'll be a new woman in a few more months!
Posted by: knitti-me on July 27, 2006 02:59 PMIck, back to work already??
We carry bottled water in the trunk of the car at all times. Some of it is people water, some of it dog water. My spouse finally solved the dilemma of which was which: he draws a little doggie paw on the cap of the doggie water.
My most embarrassing baseball moment: When I was at my first (and only one of two ever) baseball game, I asked how many minutes were in an inning. I'm still not totally sure why everyone laughed at me so hard.
xo
I love that water bottle story! Good thing Frankie is a healthy dog. Good luck when you return to work and remember to take lots of rest time for yourself, in between all the activity.
Posted by: Mary Anne on July 28, 2006 12:30 PMI'd love it if you could send part of the avalanche my way. Would you be able to ship some to Canada? If so, please let me know how much to send for postage etc. I just found out about the Dulaan project -- too late for this year, but have already started on one hat and can't wait to do more (and other things!). Many thanks -- you make my heart cheer.
Posted by: Margaret on July 31, 2006 11:21 AMRum, coke, and ice. From the freezer. From one of the trays that was there. One of which wasn't water ice, it was breastmilk ice.
Posted by: M-H on July 31, 2006 02:41 PM