March 07, 2007
What If?
People, people, people. Repeat after me, “Ryan, you are a designing doofus. Therefore, do everyone a favor; use the existing cable pattern in the Nefertiti scarf for Abbdar.” Now you.
But, alas and alack, that’s not what happened. This is what happened:
Even TMK, who knows I’m a designing doofus even better than all a’y'all know I’m a designing doofus, voted for a new design. So it seems you’re actually going to force me to dust off my brain cells; do further research into Egyptian art and design; rework the anorexic ankh; find a way to make an Egyptian temple not look like the Parthenon; use charting software to graph hieroglyphics; find out what an asp actually looks like (Wikipedia sez it’s a cobra. Urk.); research the flora, fauna, annual flow rate, tributaries and history of the Nile; launch an expedition to find the last hidden chamber in the pyramids; learn how to make paper out of papyrus; and become fluent in Coptic Eqyptian—all rather than filch a perfectly good design and alter it to my needs. But my readers have spoken. So be it.
What a crackpot way to make decisions, eh? Imagine if I asked you to vote on everything. Here’s what you could’ve helped me with this week:
Dinner: Macaroni and cheese with hotdogs or tomato slices with fresh mozzarella and balsamic vinaigrette?
Shower: Lemon-scented soap or cucumber-scented soap?
Bed: Right side or left side? Stomach or back? (You would think after 47 years I wouldn't need help with this one.)
Clothing: Bulky sage-green sweater or lighter-weight dark-coral sweater?
Tea: Trader Joe’s English Breakfast or Village Yarn & Teas London Fog?
Commute #1: Stay behind the molasses-slow white truck because I’m in no particular hurry to get to work or go around him because there’s slow and then there’s s-l-o-w?
Commute #2: Is that a bald eagle or a traffic camera?
Ferals: Take six projects with me because I just need to have them near me even though I’m pretty sure I'm not going to work on five out of the six, or take just one since, realistically, I’m only going to be there for a couple of hours and won’t get any knitting done anyway because I talk too much?
(Heh. Now I’m imagining myself living my life like that dude on TV who is always followed around by the hundreds of people in his cell-phone network. I take one step and behind me I hear shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle. Followed by muffled shouts of “macaroni and cheese!,” “traffic camera!,” and “six projects!” And then a fight breaks out. Oh, dear.)
No photographic proof available as of yet but at Ferals on Monday I cut the neck steek on Olympic Skwedl!!!!!! And just as Janine promised, it immediately flopped open into the most perfect rectangular neckline. Magic. Now for the blocking. In the meantime, TMK promises me I can have Chocolate Sauce this weekend. Woot! Oh, wait she means the yarn, not the ice cream topping. Damn.
Oh, and Canadian reader Michele from Saskatchewan is challenging herself, her mother, and any other Dulaaners who want to participate to knit 20 items for the cause. Thank you, Michele!!
P.S. It has to be said that I typed Saskatchewan perfectly the first time around, without looking it up, which I was very tempted to do. I'm exhausted. Next week: Pookipsie. Poughkipsy. Pukeepsie. Drat.
Do cucumbers even have a scent? Huh.
I am one of the worst decision makers....so I sympathize. I hate it when it's my turn to pick for dinner, or dinner out even...cause I can't make a bleeping decision to save my soul.
And by the way...looking ahead to my next pair of socks - cause the ones on the needle are actually getting pretty close to done...I'm considering Dublin bay...but I'd have to do them on 2 circs. Any thoughts on that subject, tho I know you are of the DPN fan club. :)
Posted by: Lisa in Oregon on March 7, 2007 06:11 AMhmmmmm knit 20 more items for Dulaan......cool. Count me in. I've got another box started, I would LOVE to cram 20 extra goodies in there. I've got a batch of sweaters that need buttons, so I'll do those tonight. I've been in a sweater mode lately, nice break from hats for awhile. Go Team Dulaan! :)
Posted by: Nancy O. on March 7, 2007 06:25 AMOK - couldn't resist: 1)tomato slices and mozzarella with balsamic vinegar (can I come?)
2) Lemon-scented soap, it's fresher
3) Left side, back - I'm 64,take my word for it
4) bulky sage-green sweater, goes with your eyes
5) Trader Joe's English Breakfast tea
6) Stay behind the white truck, life's short
7) Take 1 project that you can work on AND talk
8) It was a bald eagle
shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle shuffle -- I'm here for you!
Ryan, I am so proud of you for typing Saskatchewan on the first try. It took me a year of typing school to get that one under control and I was born here!
Thanks for promoting the Dulaan Twenty Challenge. I've got Angela committed now, too, and it's only been up for a few hours. Yay!
Posted by: Michele on March 7, 2007 09:08 AMAre you kidding? I totally love this thing where the internet is coming up with a new knitting pattern! LOVE IT!
And hey, I had everyone on my blog take a vote to decide my home decorating scheme. It worked really well, too! The internet was totally right.
Posted by: erika on March 7, 2007 09:27 AMok here we go
1. tomatoes with mozzarella and viniagrette (hotdogs & mac & cheese? are you 3?)
2. cucumber, if it's not also melon scented
3. right side/stomach
4. sage green
5. trader joe's
6. pass his ass
7. bald eagle
8. all 6! heaven forbid you get stranded somewhere and nothing to knit!
You even spell like a Canadian now! You go girl!
Posted by: Knit Picking on March 7, 2007 11:13 AMAm I the only one who would say Mac and cheese? Come on, sometimes you just HAVE TO! And to finish them off...
2. lemon, all the way
3. left side, on your side (why do people say left side instead of driver's side?)
4. sage green
5. trader joe's
6. pass his ass
7. bald eagle holding a traffic camera
8. and another vote for all 6!
You're on your own for the decisions. But I'll be over for the chocolate sauce. I'll bring the ice cream...
Posted by: kmkat on March 7, 2007 12:48 PMMacaroni, Lemon, Left/back, Sage-green, London Fog, Go around, Eagle, take all 6.
Hope that helps :D
Posted by: Jayme on March 7, 2007 10:34 PMHey - did you know that _Traditional Knitting Patterns_ by James Norbury has a dozen or so pages of traditional "Arabic" patterns? Some color. Some texture. Granted "Arabic" and "Egyptian" seem different enough, but in reading the description it describes the patterns as coming from nomadic people of Northern Africa. Last I checked, Egypt was still in NE Africa. Sooooo .... maybe some of the patterns in the book can give you some inspiration. If you dont' have the book or can't get it via ILL, give me a holler and I'd be happy to lend my copy out to you.
Posted by: Nannette on March 8, 2007 12:22 AMDefinitely the mac and cheese with franks... Yum!
Lemon scented on the hands and face, cucumber elsewhere.
Right side, rolling to back later.
Sage green bulky (it's cold out!)
London Fog
Stay beind the truck and enjoy the view.
Look it's a bald eagle! Aren't you glad you were going slow enough to see it?
Take more. 10 or 12 maybe. You never know...
I've got some Avalanche coming... I'm signing up for 20!
Posted by: Kathleen C. on March 8, 2007 01:38 AMI think you also need to make your own papyrus on which you can design the hat.
Just sayin...
Tina
Posted by: Tina on March 8, 2007 02:00 AMShoot, use a wavy line to represent the Nile and then triangles and call them pyramids.
Done and done.
And now I have to go out and buy mac and cheese and hotdogs for dinner...
Posted by: Laurie on March 8, 2007 08:46 AMshuffle shuffle giggle shuffle shuffle shuffle
Posted by: Christina on March 8, 2007 11:37 AMWhat about papyrus flowers?
I totally sympathize on the decision making issues.
Posted by: Lia on March 8, 2007 02:44 PM
I voted for 'make up your own' to keep you out of trouble, there was just a little kerfluffle about someone who saw and loved a design on Vendor A's site, 'changed it a little', then tried to sell it to Vendor B.
Bwahaha - you don't need Poughkipsie drat I used to know how to spell that when you have Puyallup and Snohomish!
Posted by: CarolineF on March 9, 2007 01:39 AMWhaddayou mean you sleep on your stomach - you're not the only frontally mega-endowed person here and I can't sleep on my stomach because there's no place to put 'em. Do you have elevator pillows? What's your secret?
Posted by: Linda "K" on March 11, 2007 01:24 PMAh, Poughkeepsie, used to live there.
Posted by: Danby on March 11, 2007 06:14 PM