Mossy Cottage Knits

We Can Only Go Up From Here

(No posting this week, Dear Readers. Life and all that nonsense. You understand, I'm sure.

In the meantime, though, please keep my sister and her family in your thoughts since they are having to evacuate as the result of the California fires. Big Sister, keep me posted on where you end up, please!!)

I have the great pleasure today of providing the ultimate in marital-counseling services. Dear Friends, Dear Readers, Dear Family Members, if you ever find yourself thinking that your relationship with your spouse or significant other has become dull, humdrum, routine, pedestrian, fear not. Your worst night cannot possibly compare to Wednesday night, to the moment when, after 21 years together, the high point, the thrilling apex of TMK’s and my nightly telephone conversation was this question:

“Sooooooo…d’you want to hear my toilet flush?”

What’s worse, before the excruciating banality of what we were doing hit us, I let out a slightly excited, "Yes," TMK held her phone near the toilet, she flushed the toilet, and we spent the next ten minutes discussing the merits, the tonality, the forcefulness of said flush. We could be BASE jumping from El Capitan or scuba diving in shark-infested waters or guiding our ultralights through the Grand Canyon or knitting lace without a lifeline but, no, we’re slouched at our respective homes in our sweats listening to the splashes and gurgles of a plumbing fixture.

Whatever you did last night with your spouse or significant other has got to be an improvement over that.

Now, to clarify, three points that may redeem us:

One: At the same time as I have been wrestling my own personal plumbing demons, TMK has been exploring the exciting world of lavatory fixtures, finding a toilet to replace her current one which (a) flushes one in four times, and then only half-heartedly and (b) gurgles loud and long just as you’re finally falling asleep. A demon of a toilet if there ever was one, one that needs to be shown the business end of a sledge hammer, and may yet, if TMK has her way.

Two: TMK herself, with the aid of a friend, pulled her old toilet and put in the new one without the help or expense of someone like Marcus the Plumber. And it worked the first time without leaking every which-way and making her bathroom look like, well, mine. Girl-crushers, crush away.

Three: Apparently toilet technology has changed over the years and this toilet behaves more like an airplane lavatory, making a thundering, emphatic whooshing sound and sucking in and down everything in the bathroom that is not tied down. Even the knickknacks in the living room slide an inch or two in the direction of the bathroom.

So that, Dear Readers, Friends and Family Members, is why the toilet is a Big Deal, and why you now have a Gold Standard against which to compare the most tedious of nights. My gift to you.

I am so excited by the following news because we knew this was on its way and were starting, honestly, to champ at the bit. As you may have seen on other blogs recently, Evelyn Clark has launched her own pattern Web site!! The Sock Monkey “models” recently made the rounds at Ferals to adoring squeals and, I have to say, as much as I hate sock monkeys, these guys are undeniably cute, especially the one in the multi-colored sweater, and are an ingenious way to use up leftover pieces of sock yarn. Go! Visit! Order! Show the love!

A gold star for anyone who guesses who took the photograph on her About page. (Hint: It wasn’t me.)

Also, a call to local knitters. I was recently contacted by Lisa Rogers Lowrance who moved here to Seattle from Chicago just six weeks ago. Lisa is a rabid, foaming-at-the mouth fiberist and knitter—just the kind we like—but who has no car and no way of getting around. She lives on the Eastside, in Redmond, to be exact, and has asked me to put out a general call to anyone who might be able to get her to and from one, or some, Knitters’ Guild meetings, and she would be interested in getting to at least one Ferals meeting to brush up on her Fair Isle skills. Any takers? If you can help her, please contact her. (I hear from Lisa that she may have met some of you already at the Crazy Aunt Purl book signing. Speaking of which—Naomi, Supergirl Rebecca, Rabbitch! Where are your long, juicy blog entries about the signing? I keep hitting Refresh and Refresh and Refresh, but nuttin'. Sigh...)

Lastly, for my Friday trivia, the perfect thing for this blog’s readership—an article on how and why knots form.

Posted by Ryan at October 19, 2007 11:10 AM