January 11, 2008

Friday Short

When your relationship is already rocky, when your girlfriend walks into the room, it is not, I repeat, not a good idea to greet her with, “Hey, there, gorilla face.”

Unless she is, in fact, wearing this...in which case you get a pass. But just barely.

I continue contentedly knitting on the Trekking sock, although I’m growing ever more alarmed about a large section of mustard color that seems to be lurking in, and inching ever closer from, the ball of yarn. I keep pulling out less and less yarn at a time, and pulling that yarn out more and more slowly, hoping that maybe that will delay the arrival of the mustard, although in my heart of hearts I know the awful truth. Mustard, oh, how I loathe you, you stomach-churning filth of a color that can’t decide if you are brown, tan, yellow, orange, beige, khaki, gold or a grotesque combination of All of The Above! You Satan of yarn colors! You blot on the otherwise heavenly and pure world of fiber and art! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!*

Truly, I feel a bit as if I’m walking down a dark alleyway with a mustard-clad thug creeping up behind me. Hmmmmm...perhaps my self-defense technique will involve scissors.

*A rhythmic clapping of coconut halves to anyone who can tell me where this comes from.

Happy weekend, everyone!

Posted by Ryan at January 11, 2008 04:33 PM
Comments

I know! I know! Monty Python and the Holy Grail!
One of my favorite movies!

Posted by: LV on January 11, 2008 04:37 PM

We are the knights that say, "NEE" !!!

Posted by: Ken on January 11, 2008 05:10 PM

run away! run away!!!!!!

Posted by: irina on January 11, 2008 05:12 PM

Erm, hasn't everyone seen and memorized portions from Monty Python's Search For the Holy Grail? I though for certain it had to be mandatory viewing by now!

Why don't you clip out the mustard portions? Trekking certainly has enough yardage, and then you won't have to be offended (though you may have to weave a few ends...)

Posted by: Loribird on January 11, 2008 05:33 PM

Loribird gave the same suggestion I was going to make. I've done that with self-striping yarns that included an obnoxiously colored section for no apparent reason. Worked great.

Another remark like the gorilla face one and TMK will be shrieking about the violence inherent in the system. (My sweetie and have memorized pretty much all the dialogue from that movie, much to #2 son's chagrin.)

Posted by: kmkat on January 11, 2008 06:49 PM

mustard=color of flowers and sand

mustard is good

But if you aren't going to like it, make them for someone else? Perhaps a nice commenter in the Portland area?

Posted by: Laurie on January 11, 2008 07:10 PM

At last! Someone who understands the evil mustardness of mustard color!! Delete, delete, delete!!

Posted by: Elizabeth D on January 11, 2008 07:17 PM

I agree...I thought everyone knew and quoted Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It is a favorite around here. My daughter is 14 and is finally really appreciating the humor.

Bring out yer dead!!!

I say hack out the offending mustard and keep on Trekking along. Har har har

Posted by: Stephanie on January 11, 2008 07:40 PM

I've never seen it - but I do know that is Monty Python and the Holy Grail.... my sister saw it in the theater at its initial release and it is her favorite quote of all time. Along with "I f*rt in your general direction" which she may have lifted from this show or taken poetic license with the spirit of the show! :)

Posted by: Kathleen on January 11, 2008 08:52 PM

Ry, tell us how you REALLY feel (about mustard color)! There are SOME tints that could be described that way that I do like - others, I fear, can only be described as "nursling-poop yellow". But of course *mustard* is good stuff. If you'd like a truly jolly laugh, check this out, you won't be sorry:
http://www.mustardweb.com/index.htm

Posted by: dale-harriet in WI on January 11, 2008 09:10 PM

"but I'm not dead yet . . . I'm feeling much better now"

Posted by: Ginger on January 12, 2008 12:01 AM

And of course my response is to overdye the offending portion of the sock.

Apparently that's my response to almost anything. Overdye it with red, it'll be beautiful. Unless, of course, the rest of the sock is orange. Then it will suck.

Posted by: Rabbitch on January 12, 2008 12:19 AM

If mustard could speak, it would say "Help! Help! I'm being repressed! Come see the violence inherent in the system!"

Posted by: Andi on January 12, 2008 07:27 AM

I have quoted from Monty Python at a lot times and places... the best was on the Jeopardy set....

Posted by: melissa on January 12, 2008 08:21 AM

"Message for you sir!" My future FIL has that has is "You've Got Mail" type announcement. We've been trying to steal it from him for years.

I do love Monty Python, though I found Life of Brian less funny, and I hate the exploding man in Meaning of Life.

I just wish I had somewhere to FIND Trekking sock yarn, it looks so gorgeous! But alas Winnipeg really only has one LYS (but it's a wonderful one, huge and with amazing staff).

Posted by: Karlie on January 12, 2008 09:05 AM

Well I'll just have join along with the rest of this clearly brilliant crowd and say... "Monty Python and the Holy Grail. All time best movie ever. Ever."
Okay, maybe not everyone said all of that. I shall now avert my eyes.

Posted by: Kathleen C. on January 12, 2008 09:31 AM

I think you need to cut the mustard (out).
Ahem.
Sorry, I must have been influenced by the "fart in your general direction" quote above.
Fetchez la vache!

Posted by: Cathy-Cate on January 12, 2008 09:48 AM

And then the animator died of a sudden heart attack - *urk!* - and there was much rejoicing. *yaaaayy*

I don't feel quite as strongly as you do about mustard, but I'll take a Monty Python quote any day. Nee!

Posted by: jules on January 12, 2008 11:27 AM

I am ashamed to reveal this to you all, but my boyfriend has never seen a single Monty Python movie. I keep meaning to inculcate him. We've been together for five years now. You may all fart in my general direction.

I agree with Ryan on mustard yellow. Then again I loathe yellow in almost all of its permutations. (Exceptions made for things like lemons and spring daffodils.)

Posted by: Kristen on January 12, 2008 03:07 PM

RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

Posted by: minnie on January 12, 2008 05:46 PM

"I fart in your general direction."

I wouldn't be surprised if you ended up with the entire movie quoted in the comments.

Posted by: Kat on January 12, 2008 06:31 PM

Holy Grail. I love watching that movie and it amuses me to no end that I can watch part of it in Japanese (though I can't remember if it is in Japanese or just subtitled in Japanese). Obviously I should find some time to sit down and rewatch it.

Posted by: Seanna Lea on January 13, 2008 07:37 AM

But what is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

All I know is that I want a Holy Hand Grenade and that I could really use a shrubber to help with the landscaping.

Posted by: morenna on January 13, 2008 02:52 PM

I just introduced my daughters to that very movie the other night. And they laughed. Thank god, I won't have to sell them on ebay after all. But here's the question for you: what's your favorite color? (Be careful now!) And the question for the previous poster would be: African or European?

Posted by: Jocelyn on January 13, 2008 05:24 PM

Love that movie, I think it's one of the most dementedly clever things I've ever seen. "message for you sir" is on my PC at home whenever I get a message. But wasn't it your father was a hamster and your mother smelt of elderberries??

Posted by: CarolineF on January 14, 2008 08:34 AM

Nothing makes a Monday morning back in the office better than being able to read a Monty Python reference on one of your favorite blogs.
Thanks for making it worth my effort to drag myself into work today :-)

Posted by: emma on January 14, 2008 09:50 AM

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that has those thoughts when near the color mustard. Or as my dad calls it "moose turd." I don't understand what people are thinking when they swoon over it... what redeeming qualities does it have? Well other than I like it on burgers and hot dogs... but that's another story.

And as my friend told me the other day "we are always told that relationships are hard, but who ever expected they'd actually be THIS much work??" I'm there at the moment as well. Maybe "hey there gorilla face" is a term of endearment??

Posted by: Diana (CraftyCoug) on January 14, 2008 11:26 AM

Mustard forever.

Posted by: Laura Sue on January 14, 2008 05:29 PM

I need a shrubbery!

Posted by: Carol on January 15, 2008 07:18 PM

She turned me into a newt!
A newt?
I got better...

Posted by: Anne on January 18, 2008 12:18 PM
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