January 25, 2008
I Am a Lucky, Lucky Blogger
All I can say is, WOW. What truly extraordinary comments and emails from all of you. Halfway through reading them (for, I must admit, the fourth or fifth time. Yes, all of them—four, five, maybe even six, times.), I had a slightly hysteria-tinged giggle when I remembered how, when I started this blog, I vowed to keep the personal stuff to a minimum, in fact, not even mention my relationship. Boy howdy, did I take a header off that bandwagon. These blogs—they do suck you in. In a good way.
So much encouragement; so much good advice; so much understanding; such intriguing, and sometimes funny, personal stories; so many things that made me tilt my head and say, "Huh. Who knew?" Now, if I could only take all that good will in pill form. Better Living Through Chemistry Comments!
Kris, in response to your question, yes, I/we will be at Madrona. I’m not taking any classes but TMK and I will be hanging out Saturday and spending the night at the hotel so, to one and all, feel free to stick a foot out and trip us up—gently, if you please—if you see us cruisin’ on by. Last year we slummed in the big open area outside the market but I understand that the market will be almost twice as big this year so I’m not sure if that space will exist. But, please, keep an eagle eye out. (Diana/Crafty Coug, I’m afraid I won’t be at Stitches.)
Rachel H, please do send me the “Lene” article. You can email it rymorriss at yahoo dot com. Thank you!
Daisy, in response to your request, Dale-Harriet did send me her “Philosophy of Love,” which is very beautiful. Dale-Harriet, whatcha’ think of posting it on your blog, if you haven’t already?
Diane, if I had your bread-making machine, I'm afraid I would have to shoot it. Y'know how I feel about sock monkeys? That's the way I feel about "The Little Drummer Boy." Dunno why; there's just something about that parum-pum-pum-pum. Now, watch, tomorrow morning TMK will sing "The Little Drummer Boy" while she makes coffee.
Robbyn, thanks for the “You Make My Day” award. Ditto to you. We have been blogging chums for a long time and through much thick and thin, haven’t we? So glad to know you’re out there.
And Ken-bob, pal o' mine, you're telling me all I have to do is go stock up on ketchup? Again, I find myself tilting my head and saying, "Huh. Who knew?"
What I’ve learned from going to the gym so far: It is very easy to fall off the treadmill. However, because the treadmill moves vertically in alignment to your body, and ever backwards, most people shoot straight off, you know, backwards. Yet despite all the unbreakable, unbendable, immutable laws of treadmill physics, I managed to fall off…sideways. Apparently I can’t swing my hands by my sides, walk rapidly, breathe rapidly, watch the treadmill display, and watch TV all at the same time. Seriously. I looked up at the TV for the briefest of seconds, lost track of my feet, and…TIIIIIIIMBERRRRR! Only it wasn’t anywhere near as elegant or gracefully linear as a tree falling in the forest because there were arms and legs and a bootay and wobbly thighs and two eyes momentarily bulging with terror involved. Thank God I wasn’t also trying to chew gum. The results would’ve been disastrous. (Somehow I managed to convince myself that every single person in the long line of bicyclists behind me, all of whom were facing me directly, and all of whom had a beeline view of said bootay and wobbly thighs, had all blinked simultaneously, at the exact moment of my prat fall, and no one had seen a thing. Oh, the lies we tell ourselves. But it was enough to get me back on the treadmill.)
I’ve also learned that, sociologically, gyms are extremely odd places. This gym is large, probably not as big as some in L.A., but, still, it’s a huge room full of hundreds of pieces of equipment and hundreds of people, all of whom are pretending no one else is there. There’s a minimum of talk, a minimum of eye contact, and a vague sense of social discomfort and unease pervades the air. And then there’s the nudity in the locker room and more people ignoring each other and the territoriality about lockers and towels and places to sit and people looking at each other and not looking at each other and giggling embarrassedly. Not my kind of place. Give me the bookstore, my beloved Ferals, the occasional gentle and friendly hug and three hours of girl-talk any day.
I tried to work on the Flower Basket Shawl last night but after fifteen minutes, it died a violent death, meaning I ripped it off the needles…and actually squashed it. I truly did. I grabbed it with both hands and squeezed and wrung and mangled it viciously, so pissed was I at the stitches that kept slipping off and running down*. Hmmmm; perhaps it’s time to take some more meds. Or eat some more ketchup.
*I did have a lifeline in place but it was about four rows down and I had knit those four rows so many times I lost count. Hence, the moment of berserk mangling.
P.S. For those of you who aren’t Galaxy Quest fans, or haven’t seen the movie, I suppose I should have explained that when the pig-creature was transported from the surface of the planet to the ship, things did not go well. It arrived inside out. 'Nuff said.
Regarding chemistry--I should warn you that sometimes I feel like a walking chemistry set. It can take awhile to get just the right dose/med for you, so don't despair if you aren't seeing immediate improvement. Your comment about treadmills is exactly why I walk outside! Now, it's not that I've never wound up face down on the sidewalk, mind you. (Once right before a meeting with a student--I had to stumble into the building holding my bloody nose and lip and tell her I'd be right there after I cleaned up. So much for my professional image!) I do resort to the treadmill when the weather is just too ridiculous to accommodte outside walking, but I find that the Vitamin D manufactured by some sun exposure helps tremendously. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Posted by: Kristen on January 25, 2008 01:15 PMThere was a moment like that in one of the early star trek movies. Yuck. (I think the line was, "What made it back down here didn't live long, thankfully."
My cousin and I used to try to read on the treadmill. One day both of us were so engrossed in our books that we stopped walking. Zip!
True story: I'm treadmill-phobic. I love the elliptical, though. And weights -- gimme more WEIGHTS!
Posted by: Norma on January 25, 2008 01:35 PMHey.. I've been thinking about you more than commenting.. But that doesn't mean you ahve been outta my thoughts. I want you to know we are putting all uor good thoughts in a basket here in Philly and sending them by thoughtmail.
Posted by: anj on January 25, 2008 01:44 PMYour observation about the gym is the same here in IL. Last night a guy in jeans sat next to me on the Lifecycle and I was afraid he was going to try and chat me up...GROSS! Don't talk to me, I'm improving myself.
Posted by: Angie on January 25, 2008 01:48 PMMy treadmill story: I was running on the treadmill at the University where I work. So, unlike "normal" gyms, in this one pretty much everybody knows pretty much everybody else. I'm famously uncoordinated (my kids once used the line on me "You're so uncoordinated you can trip over lines painted on the ground," and I did not disagree), so when I run on the treadmill I really don't take my eyes off my feet. I listen to a book on tape (I had the same problem with walking slower and slower while reading!), and I stare at my feet.
....and one day a friend snapped me in the butt with a towel. Now, besides staring at my feet, when I'm immersed in a book I am totally IN THE BOOK, and I pretty much forget that there are other people around, a real world, etc. So when I got popped, I SHRIEKED in a way that seemed to echo off the walls of this huge building.
I grabbed the hand-hold, and did not fall, but I was justifiably afraid to turn around to see who had snapped me (I absolutely would have fallen over), so I got a great view of about 30 students on the two rows of treadmill, elipticals, and bikes stretched out ahead of me, as each one turned to see what the HECK that noise was about.
So, you know ... I waved at them.
Posted by: MaryB in Richmond on January 25, 2008 01:53 PMI am loving these treadmill stories. I think this is why I stick with the stationary bikes. The recumbant kind. No chance of falling off, even if you're me.
Posted by: Jocelyn on January 25, 2008 02:10 PMThe people at health clubs, especially if you must go there before or after work, are way too... um, how shall I put this... upper crust for me. I prefer the YWCA -- women of all shapes and sizes and ages just trying to keep from falling apart. No glamour babes and a minimum of spandex.
Not that I have been to either the Y or a health club in way, way too long to talk about.
Posted by: kmkat on January 25, 2008 02:55 PMI also am in the club of people who have fallen off the treadmill at the gym. I tend to get engrossed in the tv or whatever movie they have going and veer off to one side or the other but the rails keep me from falling completely off, thank goodness.
But one day when I was done and getting a paper towel to wipe down the machine, it decided to turn itself back on, so when I stepped up on it, zip! Feet came out from under me, I landed on my elbow (just bruising, thankfully!) and was unceremoniously dumped off the back.
So, Ryan, I totally feel your pain.
Posted by: Rete on January 25, 2008 03:54 PMY'all, that is why I stay away from the gym. I can't even go to the grocery store without hurting myself. :)
Someone else who despises "The Little Drummer Boy"...hurray! I knew someday I'd find someone who understands! Can't stand that song. Seriously. I've also hurt myself snapping off the radio when "The Little Drummer Boy" starts up.
Posted by: jules on January 25, 2008 04:01 PMOh Ryan! I wish I could have seen you on the treadmill as that is my deathly fear. I actually used the treadmill twice this week and the entire, I was scared I would flip off. There used to be a huge mat behind the one in my college gym and one day I saw why it was there when someone flung themselves off the treadmill and into the mat. It was a stunner.
Posted by: Rebecca on January 25, 2008 04:12 PMHay lady. I didn't comment on your last post but I was thinking about you. a.lot.
You are courageous to feel all of the uncomfortableness and courageous to share it all with us.
Hope to see you soon.
Posted by: Naomi on January 25, 2008 04:45 PMSo the gym is like the elevator? That makes ME tilt my head and think "Huh, who knew?"
Posted by: Erika on January 25, 2008 05:17 PMRyan - I will post my Philosophy on my blog; I can cut and paste or wossname, I think (or just reconstruct). Interestingly, last night I learned that the darling daughter of one of my BFFs announced to her parents that 1) she is moving to London (the one over thar!) to live with a young woman she's corresponded with for over a year online (and they have met and spent time together "face-to-face" as well)....and that *they are engaged*! I truly am teary-eyed delighted for both of them, because I do love BFF's darling daughter, but it seems like there's a theme to the week! I dusted off the philosophy for her too! As far as gyms? I hate to admit it; I've been paying $50/month, right out of my bank account...and haven't gone for months. My contract is soon up, I won't renew, but I think I'm going to be good and go three times a day until it (or I) expires. The naked-ladies-in-the-locker-room get to me a bit, 4'11" tall and 65 yrs old as I am........ {grin}
Posted by: dale-harriet in WI on January 25, 2008 08:25 PMWell, I've really flushed out the haters of "The Little Drummer Boy."
Please note that I didn't say I loved it, either. Just that the darn bread machine is so obviously channeling the darn tune that we have to work with it. Go along. Seek peace.
Me, I've got an elliptical at home. Best move ever. I can't handle going to the gym. Who are these people, and why are they not knitting, or making something with their hands?
Do some people actually like sweating?
Posted by: Diane on January 25, 2008 10:12 PMI didn't like that flower basket shawl anyway. Far too fiddly and useless. How about a nice sock?
I've just joined a gym too, and I'm feeling very inspired by your 20lb. Now what we really need to do is bypass the whole chewing gum stage and figure out how to walk on the treadmill and knit at the same time.
Posted by: Quatrefoil on January 26, 2008 12:25 AMAbout the gym... I am so lazy and haven't been in about a month. But this one is in Augusta ME, big capital city of under 20K people... so people do talk to each other (even when you're buck naked in the locker room), and care for each other, and if you'd've fallen off here, at least 3 people would come over to help you back up. Me, I sit on the bike and knit (or read), gotta multitask you know? But I really should get off my ass and work a bit harder...
Posted by: lisa on January 26, 2008 06:49 AMGyms - yuk - an exercise ball and small bar bells 1.5-8 lbs (plastic coated in nice colours thank you!) - I keep my whole collection in my TV stand - and an exercise ball (that won't fit in the TV stand) - plus I walk on firm ground, outside in the fresh air (good sports bra a must!) 'Changed my body and mind!
Posted by: Marie on January 26, 2008 09:02 AMIn answer to Diane's question "Do some people actually like sweating?" I have to answer an unequivocal "yes!" I am one of those insane, crazy people who smile and laugh (and sweat) the whole time I'm working out. And the heavier the weight, the more fun I have. I'm not really happy with my workout unless I'm sore the next day. I suppose I could be addicted to crack instead. ;-) TMK
Posted by: The Mysterious K on January 26, 2008 10:06 AMRyan, hang in there! I've been there with the anxiety/panic/depression and it is the utter pits. So glad you are getting help and hope things ease up soon.
Don't knit anything fiddly that requires mental effort. In your shoes, I would be going for a comfort/mental health knit. For me that would be garter stitch in lush colors, in some skooshy handpaint so I could just knit and watch it happen. :-)
I was told that by sharing your vulnerability you become more lovable. But I'm amazed and awed to see this principle in action. The outpouring of love and support in response to sharing your pain is incredible. This blog is the way life is supposed to be!!! Thank you, dear Ryan, for doing and being yourself. It's a gift for all of us.
Posted by: Gail "hey-would-you-shake-up-this-bottle-of-juice-for-me" on January 26, 2008 03:28 PMBeen thinking about you, sweetiepie...and you're one hell of a woman, is all I can say, for doing all you can to get back to normal lunacy ;-) Might be a bit quiet lately, but my thoughts are with you.
TMK, you freakin' crack me up. :-)
Posted by: Lee Ann on January 28, 2008 03:01 AMHey Ryan - You're in my thoughts. Have you ever tried yoga instead of the gym? The excercise has the added benefit of calming the soul (or whatever). Take care of yourself.
Posted by: Carol on January 28, 2008 06:24 AMI love the treadmill. It's how I keep my running mojo over the winter (only to lose it in late August).
I'm grateful that my gym isn't like that. Most of us are stuck in the Financial District, so there is chitchat about work, workouts, and some kibbitzing. There is always someone you know at the gym, and if there is any slightly averted eyes it is because they are trying not to look on with obvious envy at someone's amazing shoulder muscles or stellar abs.
Posted by: Seanna Lea on January 28, 2008 10:54 AMI just celebrated my 12th anniversary with my partner, and wanted to share--http://my45thyear.blogspot.com/2008/01/happy-anniversary.html#links.
Over time, the difficult challenges in our relationship can actually become the glue that keeps it together...
Posted by: Julie on January 28, 2008 12:41 PMRyan - I popped over here from Norma's and instantly decided we're soul sisters. I was on the treadmill at the gym the other day, and reeled right off sideways when a friend came up to talk to me. (I'm sure no one was staring...) Urgh. And don't get me started on the bad hygiene and intestinal issues people place on display at the gym.
Cool blog!
Posted by: Nora on January 29, 2008 04:02 AMI was so happy to see you on Norma's top 10 list!! I love reading you, everytime I read Mossy Cottage I have a reason to smile. Thanks!
(I had a treadmill experience where I ended up bruising my tailbone. I'm sure the whole gym could probably feel the reverberations as I hit the ground =P )
Posted by: Meghan on January 30, 2008 08:04 AMNo Eye Contact seems to be in force at most of my gym also, except for the classes. If you're about to die in spin class, or you are falling over and groaning in frustration in yoga it seems to being on the friendlies. I don't like the treadmill either. Bring on the eliptical.
Posted by: ellen on January 30, 2008 10:37 AMHey...what is with this radio silence? We (I) miss you. You keep us honest, whether we are tripping over the painted lines on the gym floor (ok, that was my petite 16 year old) or falling off teeter-totters (that was me, and it was not moving...I am so graceless.)
Not everyone would admit to the stuff you admit to, but at least after reading your blog...well, we smile and nod knowingly, because we have been there, too.
Posted by: PICAdrienne on January 30, 2008 01:50 PM