Mossy Cottage Knits

Love "Maisie" for her name. A private aside: after 27 years of marriage, I was on my own for the first time. (at age 47 -> not good.) I made it through the black depths of despair over the next 7 years with good supports of friends, and, I believe my lifesaver: my job: kept me mentally engaged with no time to feel sorry for myself. When it seems like "what's the point?" there is "Everything." The world is filled with wonderful people who are interesting, generous with their time and care, some have money and can indulge you, some will love you, some will disappoint you, but, the true friends will always be there rooting for you with every step you take toward feeling alive. I also read Rabbitch: now there's a person with spirit! Don't stop trying. That is the only way you'll win.

Just go to the gym. You don't have to exercise, maybe just use the sauna or something. Maybe while you're there, you might decide as long as you took the trip, you'll hit the treadmill, but only for 10 minutes. By 10 minutes, the endorphins will have started kicking in and you'll want to keep going. Or not. 10 minutes is plenty on its own.

Are you sure Joon isn't trying to hit *your* snooze button?

I like Maisie too.

OH! I was so sad to miss the bicycle fest at Gasworks but I was busy burning fuel to get my hair done in Stanwood. But I've gotten so good at taking the bus that I literally use less than a tank of gas a month! I know! I'm excited.

Now I have to go email you so we can get together. I may even get over my adversity to the phone and call you. Yep, might happen!

Oh, I'm liking 'Paloma', especially with that hair.

Paloma, all the way. Only a Paloma could pull off that dress so well. As for the naked bicyclists - I've now seen enough oily pendants to last me for years.

I like Maisie too; I think the hair screams "Maisie"!!

The dress and hair to me, are making me think Paloma, as well.

As for knitting when you are out and about, I say knit 'em if you got 'em. It is part of who you are, and you should always be you. You are pretty terrific.

Being sad can really suck, but look at the bright spots everyday. Some days you really have to hunt for them, but they are there.

Ryan-Just some advice -from me a total stranger!?! Try riding-make the arrangements and do it- at this stage of life I assumed my riding days were over (having had a horse as a teenager) I ended up with a rescue mare-you know for my 17 yr old daughter!_ the horse had been neglected- probably abused and she was already a high strung Arabian-not a good starter horse for a 50 yr old! but I'm deeply and passionately in love with her! I have started taking riding lesson and feel so good -even when I have those moments of blackness I can go ride and I feel much better. Give it a try-that plus the cats and knitting -good therapy!

Naked bicycling sounds...painful. For either gender. I'm trying not to think about it, but when I try not to think about something, it becomes the only thing my brain will agree to focus on. Charming, brain! :)

I like Paloma for the doll. Great hair!

Charlotte was the first name that came to mind for that doll - I think that was the name of the doll from the Little House series. Paloma is good too; a little exotic. I dunno what to say about the naked bike riders.

Having participated in one of the naked bike rides here in Portland, I can tell you that a) if you have a good saddle, it's actually perfectly comfortable (also wash your saddle before and after...), and b) the idea is that nudity = vulnerability, so by getting naked, cyclists are demonstrating to drivers that drivers should be careful.

I don't know so much about that. I do think the whole thing is a ton of fun -- say what you will, there's something really empowering about being naked with a bunch of strangers in a safe situation.

As an aside: the first time I did a naked bike ride was the weekend before Pride in Portland. I called my parents to tell them about the naked bike ride, and they were amused. The following weekend, I marched with Planned Parenthood in the Pride parade, and then called my dad -- it was father's day. I told him what I'd spent the morning doing, and he said, "Did you keep your clothes on, this time?" I guess for most large Pride parades that would be a reasonable question, but Portland Pride is mostly families, and it's pretty quiet, so I just laughed and told my dad that, yes, I even wore a special Planned Parenthood t-shirt.

Oh definitely Maisie! (I'm partial to Paloma, but Maisie just seems to be it for this doll.)

Give Joon a couple more days and she'll be sticking that nose in your face two seconds before the alarm goes off. They know, I swear. And then she'll want you to get up at the same time on the weekend. Regarding Benny's biting, try to watch for signals that he's about to give you the fang and then make a loud noise before he can get the teeth in you. That should stop it or at least reduce it greatly. Cats should be able to use all their defenses when necessary, of course, but you don't want to get puncture wounds every time you have to take him to the vet! (Priscilla is very good at using her claws--I have to keep them trimmed.)

I'm sorry you are struggling this week. This may sound silly, but I'm really proud of you for doing everything you can to just keep going. I'm especially proud of you for going back to the gym. Just keep doing it, even if you have to do wacky things like promise yourself you can buy that 1000 yard skein of silk on Saturday if you make it to the gym four times that week. Soon enough you'll find you don't need those carrots quite so often.

Tears are nature's way of moving the bad stuff out of your body. How wise of you to let them flow.

Maisie. Definitely.

Call if you want to go for a walk on these warm summer evenings, ok?

If the riding thing falls through, let me know. There's seven or eight horses out there in the barn, only one of which is owned by another person. I bet they'd be happy to get some good riding in. :)

One of my cats likes to lick my eyelids when I want to sleep in - ick! Rough kitty tongue and fish breath not so good. Some cats nip for attention - perhaps Benny wants something from you? Others nip when they are excited. Benny should learn some manners, and he will.

Naked bicycling sounds painful no matter what. The gym sounds like a good idea, however, but you know that. I've been lucky and only been really depressed once, but I found that just getting out of the house was Very Good sometimes.

As far as the adorable doll: Charlotte, Maisey, and Beth (I don't know why - that's just the first name that came to mind.)

It starts with just one ball of yarn...then one day you'll wake up to find the entire stash spread out across your house and tied together.

Kristen is right. Two seconds before the alarm goes off AND on weekends.

My deal with myself is 5 minutes on the exercise bike. I tell myself I only have to lazily, sort-of, pretend to push the pedals for 5 minutes and then I can quit. I usually end up doing 20-30 minutes. A really good audiobook helps immensely.

re: yarn and cats. My vet has me trained to put it all away in sealed containers. After a too graphic description of what string can potentially do to kitty innards, she told me how much the emergency surgery would cost. The cats have lots of safe(r) toys to leave all over the house (for me to trip on).

I like Paloma too, fwiw, and Maisie would be my second choice.

Definitely let the tears come when they will. You wouldn't choke back laughter, would you? Don't stifle the tears either. You need both :)

As always, hugs!

Ryan,
I share the same black moods that you have from time to time. It's particularly bad if I have lots of things I need to finish that I don't really enjoy doing. Right now it's home dec sewing for my dd's. I have done 7 bedrooms since January. Eeeeek!! I find that I can procrastinate on doing anything even the smallest task. I usually find if I just talk myself into starting - I set the timer (usually for 15 minutes) and say "I only have to do this until the timer rings". Sometimes I do stop when the timer rings, but most times, I end up continuing with whatever dreaded task I was putting off.
My vote for the name is Maisie. My Mom's name was Maisie and I have a pic of her in her 20's when she first came to Canada as a war bride, and she had naturally curly hair that was just standing up all over (also - it was a really windy day). My first thought when I saw your doll was that it reminded me of my Mom and then I saw that Maisie was in the running for names. I think it was preordained. LOL

If she were really a cornhusk doll, Maisie would be perfect (maize=corn), but she's a little more exotic isn't she? And doesn't Paloma mean Dove? And isn't she as white as a dove? (Unless it's a mourning dove, but her hair is kind of dove gray. Work with me here!) So, short story long- I like Paloma. We had a pair of kittie- brother and sister. Their names were Tiko and Tarzan. They were both very affectionate- usually. My toddler (then) son called them Tiko and The Biting Kitty. Our current cat is Boris Bad-enough. He is a huge black kitty who loves to cuddle and purr and then gnaw your toe off. In an affectionate way. Ain't boy cats mysteriously wacky? Kind of like boy people.

Depression sucks arse. I was offered a stay in a loony bin once, and while waiting to see the psychiatrist I was offered a cigarette by a man wearing his undercrackers on his head. And not where they should have been, if you get my drift and I think you do. The psychiatrist and I agreed that perhaps I was better off at home, as I still believed your knickers should go round your undercarriage, under other clothes.

Not knitters *yet* mu-ha ha ha.

Maisie is my first choice for the young lady. You've given me the urge to knit dollies, for which I seriously have no time.

Just go to the gym - the motivation will come, but for now even if you force yourself for a few minutes it will be good for you. If you can try a yoga class you may find it very calming and mood-improving. Give your body a chance to pull your mind out of the black hole. It can be done.

I love my kitties, but you have to watch out for those bites and scratches; they can get badly infected immediately. Liberal applications of alcohol can't hurt. My grand daughter was deeply bitten accidentally by her cat and spent a few days in the hospital on an antibiotic drip in spite of promptly going to the doctor for a shot. The same cat bit my thumb and it got infected enough to go to the doctor. But cats are worth it all, I still have mine. Good luck and happiness in your new life. It will come.

Go to the gym. Take the yoga class. Just do it. You'll feel much better for it.

I named all my dolls Hannah but I named my daughter Claire.