August 11, 2008

A Moment

Sunday morning.

It’s a little cool out for summer, but the sun is shining.

A plate of crisp, warm, buttery cinnamon toast rests on my lap.

A flowered mug of hot, sweet, milky tea sits on the side table.

Both cats are curled up on the couch, tails over noses.

For an instant I think…

“Life is good.”

And then it’s gone.

It’s not much.

But it’s a start.

Thank you all for this gift.

Posted by Ryan at August 11, 2008 09:21 AM
Comments

Aww. Let's hope those moments become more frequent and last a little longer each time! Thinking about you and sending you supportive thoughts.

Posted by: Cynthia on August 11, 2008 09:41 AM

Clearly you need more cinnamon toast in your life. And maybe kitty valium to make them calm and sleepy like that more often. ;-)

Posted by: Carrie on August 11, 2008 10:10 AM

A friend going through a similar experience once told me how he measured his getting better. Every morning, when he woke up, there would be a moment of feeling like everything was fine before the world rushed in and reminded him how he'd been feeling.

He knew he was starting to get better when those moments started lasting longer. So he started watching for it -- he watched and waited for it to last all day, until one day, it did.

Posted by: Bether on August 11, 2008 10:34 AM

Been there, the first glimmer is the start of a wonderful rising. Best wishes.

Posted by: Bonney on August 11, 2008 10:35 AM

Hug, hug, hug!!!

Posted by: Carry on August 11, 2008 10:36 AM

one step at a time. purring kitties, cinnamon toast and cups of tea help.

Posted by: kat on August 11, 2008 11:30 AM

what a wonderful moment and i am glad you were able to recognize and capture it. hold it near and dear!

Posted by: marti on August 11, 2008 11:45 AM

Wow - you just made me get all teary! I didn't expect that. The fact that you recognize that as a start is awesome.

*hugs*

Posted by: (formerly) no-blog-rachel on August 11, 2008 11:57 AM

Hang in there Ryan, those "good life" moments will get more and more frequent. Hugs from Illinois.

Posted by: Angie on August 11, 2008 01:05 PM

Glad you are seeing glimmers of light. My daughter is going through something similar. She too is starting to get the odd glimmer..

Posted by: Janine on August 11, 2008 01:50 PM

It is good. Really and truly. Sometimes it just takes a bit to see it.

Posted by: Mel on August 11, 2008 01:53 PM

You reminded me of a song from childhood, so I googled the lyrics, found them here http://www.stlyrics.com/lyrics/televisiontvthemelyrics-kidsshows/openupyourheartandletthesunshinein.htm
(there's a free ringtone for you too).

Just the chorus here, but do follow the link for the whole song, and smile when the earworm gets in your head!

Posted by: Gina on August 11, 2008 01:57 PM

It is the little things that make life worth living. Here is to more milky tea, cinnamon toast and covered kitty nose mornings. (Just once, wouldn't you like to see one of the covered kitty noses, tickled enough to make THEM sneeze?!)

Posted by: PICAdrienne on August 11, 2008 02:02 PM

You Go Girl!

Posted by: Cheryl on August 11, 2008 03:05 PM

Sometimes a start, no matter how small, is all you need. Good for you.

Posted by: Rachel H on August 11, 2008 03:35 PM

those moments will get longer and longer ---

and yummmmm cinnamon toast - one of my favorites ;)

Posted by: rho1640 on August 11, 2008 05:47 PM

It IS good, honey. Especially because you're still in it.

Posted by: Lee Ann on August 11, 2008 07:43 PM

Hugs, sweetie :) That's just !@#$%^&* excellent!

Posted by: Robbyn on August 11, 2008 08:33 PM

It get's better. It takes some poetry, but it will be all good again:)

Posted by: Barb on August 11, 2008 10:54 PM

Once there's some "light" in the tunnel, the "darkness" is no longer complete. Congrats on making it through to where you can see the other side again!

Posted by: Marie on August 12, 2008 05:21 AM

May you have many more such moments. You deserve them.

Posted by: Su on August 12, 2008 05:58 AM

How funny. I just had a similar moment before reading this entry. They're ephemeral, like everything, and life isn't always good. But those moments are, and the more we cultivate inner serenity, the more moments like that appear, in the oddest ways. May it be so for you.

xo,
CT

Posted by: Cuzzin Tom on August 12, 2008 06:24 AM

Hugggggggg. Remember that depression is a THOUGHT disorder--no matter how much it feels like or how much anyone tells you it is a MOOD disorder. Feeling good, feeling bad, feeling content. These are all what life is about. Thinking that everything sucks or you are a failure or whatever--it's just thoughts. They fade away eventually, especially as you let them go. And "inner peace" types of thoughts (thanks to cuzzin tom) take their place. I meant for this to be more helpful than it is. I know that when I was struggling with it I was conforted to know that my feelings were okay. It was the thoughts that were distorting them. It felt more manageable to me somehow. Anyway, kind thoughts winging across the continent to you.

Posted by: Laura Sue on August 12, 2008 10:29 AM

Life is good at times. 3 cheers for life being good! And to it being good more often, even if it is only for a moment let us hope the moments grow closer together. Soon moments will be so close together that life will always be good! (or at least almost)
Hurrah for "life is good!"
Hurrah for "life is good!"
Hurrah for "life is good!"

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Posted by: Diana on August 12, 2008 11:23 AM

Hang on to those moments. I'm also struggling right now--I know how important each and every last one of those "good" moments are. Just keep weaving them together and you'll soon find a gorgeous tapestry.

Posted by: Kristen on August 12, 2008 10:50 PM

I'm so glad to hear you at least had that moment. Now you know it CAN happen, and it can happen again.

While I was in the three-year gray fog, I decided that I'd find one beautiful thing every day. It could be a particular wisp of cloud against a blue sky, a bird on the porch, or the sound of the rain. It helped to realize that not everything in my life was flat and colorless and cold.

Posted by: Beth in STC on August 14, 2008 10:34 AM
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