September 03, 2008

Just Some General Blithering

I've finished all the pieces of the Fisherman T-Shirt and am ready to seam, just in time to learn that our Executive Director has also just become grandpawpaw to twins, and may need a sweater or two flung in his direction, but other than that, no knitting news today, Dear Readers, just some light blahblahblah about my sister, the cats, and my inability to cook. You have been warned.

coloredcake3.bmpFirst, please help me wish Big Sister a Happy Birthday. This is important for two reasons: One, she has succumbed to something strep-ish and feels like crapola (anyone who has had strep knows thereís no sore throat like it), so Iím sure she could use the pick-me-up, even if it is from complete strangers. (But what kwality strangers you are!) And two, during the worst part of my, er, Blue Period, she was there for me every minute of every day, 24 hours a day, and did, and continues to do, so much for me I canít even begin to describe it. Happy Birthday, Big Sister, and I hope you feel better soon! Will call you later and sing you the three family birthday songs. Again, you have been warned.

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My big event for this weekend was to go on a hike with OutVentures here. I planned, oh, how I planned for this event. A piddly six hours of hiking, but when you take a princess away from her hot and cold running water and send her into the vicious, feral wilderness of a local state park, she panics.

Layered the clothes, packed a lunch, packed snacks, brought water, brought SPF 50 suntan lotion, brought a First Aid kit, wore my sturdiest shoes, printed text directions, printed a map, left the house with enough time to make the one-hour drive to the park and get lost twice, got to the trailhead just fine. And discovered that I hadnít planned for one thing:

Rain.

I live in Seattle and I didnít plan for rain. Somehow I couldnít face six hours of schlepping around in the wet stuff since even minor sprinkles soak through to the skin after hour two or three, so I watched all the other guys and gals, who had planned wisely, march off in their warm, dry GoreTex jackets, and turned tail and drove the one hour back to chez moi. (Hmmmm. Seems I havenít quite grasped this conserving gas thing.) I went to support group instead and drooled over the new strawberry blond. Then went home and cleaned the cat litter. Good God; just shoot me now.

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You think I kid when I say Iím not a good cook? I invited knitting friends Gail and Diana over this weekendóbecause I wanted to hang wid 'em, of course, but also to practice my fledgling hostessing skillsóand, in preparation, spent considerable time studying this page. I chickened out in the end and didnít buy or make any coffee, but I coulda, I certainly coulda. In fact, I dare ya'; ask me, ask me anything.

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lamp2.bmpThe latest Benny escapade: He discovered the touch-sensitive, three-way lamp over my desk and spent a good ten minutes last night turning it low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off; low, medium, high, off. Tell me, God; what did I ever do to you?

I have also started to compose a list of the things that the cats think are yarn and must therefore try to bite in half or remove and drag across the room. So far we have: The mouse cord; the laptop power cord; the camera battery recharger; the cell phone recharger; the landline-phone cord; the answering machine phone cord; the answering machine power cord; the shredder power cord; the vacuum power cord; the ties on the chair pads; any and all pieces of fringe on my lap blanket; any and all pieces of fringe on my rug; the pull strings on any and all window blinds; the drawstrings on my jacket; the drawstrings on my sweatpants; the straps on my knapsack; gift-wrap ribbon; the string on a teabag; the measuring tape; and last but not least, dental floss, especially when youíre actively using it.

I feel as if Rabbitch and I are having the same experiences with our children, only different.

Posted by Ryan at September 3, 2008 10:09 AM
Comments

You forgot rubberbands.

Posted by: Abby on September 3, 2008 10:22 AM

Happy Birthday, Big Sister!

Posted by: Cookie on September 3, 2008 10:59 AM

Happy Birthday Ryan's Big Sis!
I suspect that if you let them play with the vacuum cleaner cord long enough to pull it over, they might not ever play with another cord again.
OMG, I wanted a lamp like that, and you have just reminded me to be thankful that I do not have it at this time. (It's bad enough that the toddler stands on the back of the couch in order to see what's in the torchiere. I'm going to have to learn to knit in the dark.)
Maybe by not packing a rain coat your subconscious princess was telling you she didn't WANT to go hiking.

Posted by: Carrie on September 3, 2008 11:13 AM

Happy birthday Big Sis - and feel better....

Now. I can't tell you how hysterically funny your "resembling yarn" list is - and that thing with the touch lamp? Been there. It's soooooooooo funny.
They.HAVE.PEA-SIZED.BRAINS.
Remember that. It takes almost nothing to amuse them.

(and obviously us, too....)
((Hugs))

Posted by: Knitnana on September 3, 2008 11:42 AM

Happy Birthday to Ryan's Sister!

I laughed until I cried at the lamp follies. Oh the joy and the pain of kitties, eh? Mine still play and get into trouble, but a lot less frequently now that they are 9-ish (rescue cats, we don't know exactly). Priscilla spent a good part of last night knocking small things off my nightstand and then jumping down onto the floor to investigate them. Fortunately it was things like pencils, a barette, a tube of lip balm, a pad of post-it notes, a coaster, etc. Nothing I had to actually wake up enough to take away from her.

Posted by: Kristen on September 3, 2008 12:07 PM

Item 1:
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday dear Sister,
Happy Birthday to you!
(... and many more....)
P.S. BTW Ketchup soothes a sore-throat)

Item 2:
I commend you on your chutzpah to get out go hiking (Wallace Falls is beautiful, but stay behind the fence!), but I have one word for you "The 11 Essentails Woman!!!" (ok, so maybe that's more than one word - and ask me later what the 11th essential is). It sounds like you really tried to be prepared and were 9/10th's of the way there, so GOOD JOB. ...and a double gold-star for you on the first aid kit! I used an umbrella once when I forgot raingear, but that's because it was rattling around in my car.

Item 3:
Ok, no kidding on the coffee thing - is that site real or is it being serious? If it's serious, I would never make any disparaging remarks about it, and it's a very good thing which communicates the process very clearly without being patronizing, but I have to tell you the truth, I laughed my butt off at it.

Item 4:
Re: the lamp... are you sure Benny wasn't just trying to please Joon who was sitting nearby with spectacles and a book repeatedly saying "Light Please", "More", "More", then "That's too much!"

Laughing and Lurking still -
ken-bob

Posted by: ken-bob on September 3, 2008 12:39 PM

General blithering or not, no one and I mean NO ONE tells a story like you do. And I mean that in a good way.

Happy Birthday Big Sister!

Posted by: (formerly) no-blog-rachel on September 3, 2008 12:55 PM

Happy birthday, Big Sister, and I hope you're feeling better soon! (Or already, cause being sick on your birthday is No. Joke.)

As for the cats stories - well, I love 'em; I'm glad I only have one kitty right now though (they encourage each other.)

Posted by: loribird on September 3, 2008 01:26 PM

This is too funny for words. I *have* a lamp that has a touch button for on/off; said lamp is right over the head of the bead; said cat parades back and forth across the base of said lamp a million times a night in an effort to wake me up so she can go out and play. Please, deity-of-your-choice, make sure that she never figures out the on/off button. (Note to self: make sure she is not watching the on/off light thing.)

Many happy returns of the day to your big sister. So glad she's been there for you these past weeks.

And the yarn list? Too funny! Have they discovered spaghetti yet?

Posted by: Carol on September 3, 2008 01:37 PM

Happy, Happy Birthday, Big Sis!

Posted by: Donna in VA on September 3, 2008 01:57 PM

Happy Birthday Ryan's Big Sis. Hope you feel better soon.
Ryan- keep the rubber bands safely put away. They are serious trouble to kitties if they swallow them as they can get majorly tangled in the intestines resulting in $$$ surgery (or worse). Long pieces of yarn/ribbon/string can also prove troublesome if swallowed. My crazy 2yo cat has discovered the joys of chasing small chunks of rubber dog bone that my daughter's lab gnaws off of her chew toys. SWAT! Heehee, it bounces, it hops, it must be alive! Must track, pounce, and KILL IT!!! Almost as fun as the fly that was foolish enough to land on the window sill in front of him yesterday. At least the rubber bone bits don't make crunching noises when he chomps.

Posted by: Tish on September 3, 2008 03:55 PM

Happy Birthday to your sister.
Get a Keurig one cup coffee maker, they may mossy cottage proof (wink)

Posted by: Barb on September 3, 2008 07:13 PM

Happy Birthday, Ryan's Big Sister!

Posted by: Leslie on September 3, 2008 08:32 PM

Happy BDay Ryan's Big Sister - feel better quickly

And I can totally understand the forgetting about rain thing (sort of) but MY GOD WOMAN -- coffee - how do you live without coffee!!! And don't tell me tea - I like tea just fine but it ISN'T coffee!!!!

Can you tell I have a slight passion for coffee - not Starbucks though - they burn their beans I swear - I don't know what the fuss is about them.. it is bitter burnt taste not strong - I like strong..

Posted by: rho1640 on September 3, 2008 08:44 PM

You make me laugh soooooooo hard, I had to find a kleenex to wipe the tears off my face!! The lamp antics nearly killed me!! It is almost 1am and I am still laughing!! Those cats...
wait until you start wearing boots or shoes with laces!!
Happy Birthday BIg Sis...hope you feel better soon!

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Posted by: texas holdem on September 4, 2008 10:20 AM

It was a lovely evening, and you're a fabulous cook! Benny and Joon were extraordinary entertainment, in addition to Humans Present. Your cottage is definitely wonderful...but where's the moss????

Posted by: Gail "hey-would-you-shake-up-this-bottle-of-juice-for-me" on September 4, 2008 01:29 PM

Happy Birthday Big Sis!

Do we get to see pictures with the crown? Or, just not feeling up to the pictures this year? I understand.

As for the coffee making site, well, they forgot the important stuff, like start with cold water, the coffee tastes better, and it is better for the coffee maker. Since you don't drink coffee, you are probably better off going to the grocery store, buying and grinding a small amount of beans at a time. No point in having it around the house if you do not like it. Oh, and the other option, and easy, is a French press, quick, simple, no fuss and each coffee drinker can add the grounds to their liking. You just need to heat the water.

As for the cats, yes they are easily amused, and yes, what easily amuses THEM can be highly annoying to us.

Finally, Ryan, love, you are a knitter, and wool is pretty water repellent, just take one of the wool sweaters you have made, and wear with pride. You get to show off your talent in a totally practical, non-bragging way. What could be better?

LOVE YOU!

Posted by: PICAdrienne on September 4, 2008 01:55 PM
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