Being Children of the Millennium with little respect for their parent, this morning Benny and Joon gave me a long, petulant lecture about how cheap of a mother I am since I'll only pay for one cable channel for them: SQRL-TV. And about how there seems to be only one show on SQRL-TV. And how there's only one setting for the show—a large but slightly shabby yard. And how the budget is so small the director can only afford to change the lighting effects about every three months—and every night turns the lights off altogether. And about how there only seems to be one small, boring, gray-haired actor, and how he sometimes just arbitrarily wanders off-screen. Sure, sometimes there are two or three actors, but there's no dialogue, and it can be hard to tell the actors apart. And how there only seems to be one activity—interminable leaping, scrounging and nibbling, no heroes, villains, damsels in distress, space ships, guns, chase scenes, romantic encounters, dramatic rescues…
I told them if they were really good and patient, and ate all their vegetables, I would get a second channel in the spring: ROBN-TV. They are very excited.
If you pack away all your wool yarn and sweaters and socks, veeerrrryyy carefully, you could perhaps spring for MOTH-TV during the winter months. I'm sure the furry felines would be appreciative.
Posted by: kmkat on November 8, 2009 04:34 PMPut out a bird feeder and you'll get BRD-TV too. They might like that better.
Posted by: ccr in MA on November 8, 2009 05:26 PMccr, I tried BRD-TV last year and, unfortunately, got RAT-TV instead. I used one of those small plastic bird feeders with suckers that you can adhere to a window, only to discover, two nights later, a rat sitting in it. The cats liked RAT-TV; I did not.
Posted by: Ryan on November 8, 2009 05:29 PMI offered BRD-TV to my cats with a bird feeder outside the 'good' window and got MOUSE-TV instead. eew. Then I planted lilacs outside that window which attracted LBB-TV (little brown bird) and never were the kids so happy with the available channels. It took a few years for the lilacs to grow but spring was worth it because with the window open the lilacs smelled gloreous and LBB-TV lasted year round.
Posted by: Rebecca on November 8, 2009 06:14 PMKimble doesn't care, but Brady gets SO MAD when Cat TV sometimes includes ANOTHER CAT OUTSIDE OMG THE OUTRAGE!!!!
He only BARELY tolerates his brother - another cat entirely? Whose ass he can't kick from inside? THIS INSULT SHALL NOT STAND YOWWWWWWWRRRRRRRR.
Posted by: Erika on November 8, 2009 07:00 PMI know you're not in the market for another pet, but my cats seem to think well of GRBL-TV :)
Posted by: Robbyn on November 9, 2009 06:47 AMI had to break down and buy one of those Cat-entertainment DVD's. Purrcy would stand in front of the TV and HOWL until I put on his favorite "March of the Penguins." I got so tired of it...
Now the cats have the bird DVD and the rodent DVD. I save them for special occasions like, for example, when I am blocking lace and don't need any little paws giving me "help."
Posted by: Cathy R on November 9, 2009 07:25 AMMy folks have lazr-tv for their new childkitty. Unfortunately it involves some physical participation by the mom.
Posted by: Barb on November 9, 2009 09:35 AMI have BRD-TV and sometimes HWK-TV for my retired husband. He'll call me at work when there's a special on HWK and when the sparrows are all bathing on BRD. I try to watch with him but I keep missing things when I'm looking at my yarn.
Very funny and clever post!
Posted by: Barbara on November 9, 2009 10:20 AMOur kitty gets SQRL-TV and BRD-TV, but I'm still thinking of installing an even more local set of stations: DOGG-TV and FISH-TV. Though there is a decent chance that she will hate DOGG-TV. There's no accounting for taste.
Posted by: Seanna Lea on November 9, 2009 11:24 AMFISH-TV is very popular with felines. There is even an interactive version, with wet paws and snacks included, although this can add to the cost considerably.
Posted by: M-H on November 9, 2009 05:19 PMTRSTRP-TV (Reality) has been a hit in our household...The Meezer is quite capable of entertaining herself for hours with it.
Unfortunately, when it gets dropped into the water dish, it's worthless.
But! Joy! The Postal Carrier routinely brings the new source of TRSTRP-TV (Reality) on a regular basis.
Posted by: Knitnana on November 10, 2009 08:41 AMMy girls are particularly fond of PRPLFNCH-TV, which regularly plays out on the telephone wires attached to my house. Modern miracle, that.
Posted by: Kristen on November 10, 2009 01:45 PMOur Boris enjoyed HUMR-TV all summer. Every once in a while it would prove painful when one of the hummers would flit too close to the screen (sliding glass door) and he woudl forget himself and launch headfirst after it. THUNK! MROWR?!? If HUMR-TV switched abruptly to RAVN-TV, he would flinch back. HUMR-TV has been replaced by the tinybird network and rare SQRL.TV re-runs. The dog doesn't seem to enjoy any of the broadcasts except SQRL, and prefers to bark along with JOGR, STRAYK9, and GRBGMAN-TV on the front room screen.
Posted by: Tish on November 10, 2009 04:41 PMHehehe, you are such a bad person! Depriving them of all this stuff... how could you?
We didn't even have TV for years, and didn't miss it all that much.
Posted by: Batty on November 11, 2009 05:27 PMI second the reccomendation of GRBL-TV, with the possible addition of MOUS-TV. My cat loved to sit on the arm of the couch and watch that channel. And I *never* got tired of watching the mice runrunrunrun on their wheel then STOP....and whirl upside down as the wheel kept going. My dog is currently a big fan of PIG-TV and drops whatever she's doing whenever a new show comes on. Or possibly it's the emergency alert signal: Wheek! Wheek! Wheek!
Posted by: Elizabeth Spinner1 on November 13, 2009 06:43 PM